By:
In: Lion's Journal

On Monday, four days ago, I had surgery in my left eye to relieve pressure from glaucoma. It appeared to be a successful operation. In my postop visit with the surgeon on Tuesday, pressure in my left eye was completely normal and all seemed well. I woke up on Wednesday morning unable to see anything out of my left eye. Needless to say, this was very disturbing to me and Mrs. Lion.

We made an emergency visit to the surgeon that morning and he discovered that I had been bleeding in my eye from the surgical incision. The blood formed a clot which is blocking my vision. It’s also blocking the drain he put in to relieve pressure in the eye. He says that this is not terribly bad news. One way or another, the blood will get out and the clot will disintegrate. Whether it will do it on its own or I will need more surgery we’ll find out in a couple of days. Meanwhile, I really am a one-eyed lion. I’m very unhappy about that.

They did an ultrasound of my eye and found that the blood and clot are in the same area where they inserted the drainage tube. The surgeon says this is the best news since it doesn’t affect most of my eye. I’m finding it very hard to feel cheered by this. Meanwhile, Mrs. Lion keeps missing more work which means she’s losing more pay. I’m on paid leave, fortunately.

Meanwhile, I’m being very careful about walking into things. With both eyes working I’m not always the most dainty soul. With only one eye, I’m a traffic hazard. Understandably, sex has not been on my mind. Mrs. Lion has left me wild which is quite helpful in my current state. We did snuggle last night, but I showed no real interest in getting aroused. It is a relief to learn that my vision will return once the blood situation is cleared up. Meanwhile, the two of us will just hold things together and continue hoping for the best.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
lion and mrs. lion mating
Our first date. For a long time we did it like this: lion style.

I had been living with a submissive woman, she considered herself a slave, for almost 10 years. We had decided to end the relationship. I was feeling lonely and horny. I looked around the Net and discovered a dating site that looked sort of interesting. I searched for women in my area. Most were clearly looking for husbands and their profiles just didn’t work for me. One woman posted a nice close-up of her smiling face. I couldn’t get that smile out of my mind. Her profile said that she lived about 50 miles from me and was looking for a casual relationship.

I sent her a message on the service. To my surprise, she replied. We exchanged only a few messages. She made it clear she was looking for a lover. I was too. She wrote that she was married and planning to separate. It’s hard to remember now, but I believe we also talked on the phone. In any case we decided to meet halfway between our houses at a motel. There was one conveniently located that wasn’t too expensive. We both knew why we were meeting.

Even though our intentions were very clear, I wondered if anything would happen once we were actually face-to-face. We met in the parking lot of the motel, both of us a bit shy. I asked her if she wanted to “do it?” I was always a smooth talker. She said yes. I went to the office and got us a room. Once inside, we didn’t waste any time. We were both very turned on. We got naked and I mounted her lion-style and we both had really nice orgasms. Afterward, we snuggled and chatted, got in our cars, and went home.

It wasn’t very romantic but for me, at least, it was a lot of fun and I wanted to do it again. Apparently she felt the same way. We exchanged emails and set up a meeting about a week later. Same parking lot, motel, and lion-style. We were both having fun.

We never really dated. All of our meetings were for sex. In between orgasms, we learned about each other. I also shared my interest in being spanked. Our sex became more interesting. Mrs. Lion would straddle my face and I would give her several oral orgasms. When she was done, sometimes she would ride me cowgirl-style. Often, she would stop before I ejaculated and finish me by hand. That is my favorite!

She tried spanking me. The first time, I could barely feel her hand touching my butt. It took many weeks and a lot of encouragement to get to the point where I felt a mild sting. I know she thought it was kind of odd, but she clearly liked pleasing me. She also enjoyed her orgasms. The lioness-on-top pattern was well established almost from the very start.

Not too long after we began meeting, the submissive woman who lived with me finally moved out. Mrs. Lion came to my house instead of the motel. She would stay until she had to go to work. She had a job that started in the early hours of the morning. It was clear that we really enjoyed one another’s company. It’s impossible for me to say when I realized that I needed her with me all the time. But at some point I knew I couldn’t be without her.

She felt the same way. Not long after we talked about this, she moved in with me. Meanwhile, she continued practicing her spanking. She graduated to a paddle and a wooden spoon which would sting a bit. She still hadn’t gotten to the point that she would make me yelp. Sex was always with her on top. I think that like a lot of women, she always had her best orgasms when riding me. I absolutely love it.

Love snuck up on us. We weren’t looking for it. We were looking for sex and we found it. Somehow, without either of us realizing it, we wanted much more of one another. We wanted to be together, sex or no sex. I’m amazed that two people who wanted such a superficial connection, managed to fall in love and live  together happily ever after. Haven’t we been taught that sex needs to be delayed to allow love to flourish? Isn’t that what they teach young girls? Give a guy sex and that will be all he ever wants. Not true in our case.

We not only had sex on the first date, we had it as soon as we were alone together. We barely knew each other’s name before we knew each other’s body. It does sound like a formula for failure; the worst kind of one night stand. But it wasn’t. It was the beginning of 16 years (so far!) of true love and companionship. It has to be the best one night stand ever.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity
jail bird chastity device
It may not look like a wedding ring, but it turns out that this is a very important symbol of our devotion as well as our chastity power exchange.

{This is the day after my surgery. I wrote this post in advance to take some of the pressure off me when I know I’ll probably just want to stay in bed until I have to go see the surgeon for my “day after” checkup.}

The other day I wrote about the effect of losing male libido could have on a female led relationship. Another interesting question is what effect loss of male libido would have on enforced chastity. Obviously, if the man loses interest in sex, chastity becomes moot. At least that seems to be the obvious outcome.

If enforced male chastity is only about male orgasm control, that’s certainly the case. Many men, including me, don’t need to wear a chastity device in order to control impulses to masturbate. Years of being locked in a device and having a strong rule against masturbation has trained me never to do it. Still, wearing a chastity device remains part of our chastity experience.

Many guys like wearing chastity devices. It’s a hot fetish. Let’s face it, it’s the only form of bondage you can wear 24/7 in public. Aside from that, a chastity device is a powerful symbol of commitment to the keyholder. A lot of us think of it as a form of wedding ring that symbolizes our commitment and obedience to our partners.

It doesn’t matter that I’m fully trained not to masturbate yet I still wear a chastity device. It follows that if I no longer care about having sex, the chastity device is still relevant. There have been times in the last couple of years when I really couldn’t wear the device. Health issues complicated my ability to successfully wear one. I missed being locked up.

my hard penis in locking cock ring
Even though the locking cock ring allows me to get hard and gives Mrs. Lion full access to both cock and balls, she still prefers my penis to be naked when she chooses to play with it.
(Click image to view larger)

Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, prefers leaving me wild. In order for her to have access to her weenie, she has to get the key, then unlock, and remove the device. When I’m wild, all she has to do is reach down. I thought the locking cock ring would solve her access problem. Apparently it doesn’t. She strongly prefers a naked penis and dislikes even the minimal restriction of the cock ring (Image, left).

In practice, there really aren’t that many times a day when Mrs. Lion is in a position to play with her weenie. Still, it’s inconvenient to have to un-cage it for access. If I no longer had a libido, the only times she would need to unlock it would be for inspection and cage sanitation. Happily, I do have a libido and nearly every day I’m unlocked for teasing.

If you believe that the purpose of a chastity device is to prevent masturbation, then it makes no sense at all for me to wear one any longer. The thing is I miss it. Yes, it’s more trouble for me. Using a urinal requires checking for my urethral alignment before I can begin peeing. Adjusting can be annoying. I do enjoy the occasional erections even though they never end in ejaculation. It’s nice to get hard. I can’t do that in my 1 inch cage.

When it’s not on me, the cage sits next to my bed on my nightstand. I find myself looking over at it wishing it were where it belongs. Once it’s on and I go through a day or two of adjustments, I start to think that I liked it better on my nightstand. Actually I don’t. I think it belongs around my penis. After all, it was custom-made to live there.

I think we can solve accessibility for Mrs. Lion. Perhaps every day when she comes home from work and changes into her play clothes, she can also take off my chastity device. That way I’m wild and available for her pleasure. Since she’s with me, I’m fully supervised. At the end of the evening when we go to brush our teeth, perhaps at that point she can lock me up again. That way I’m securely caged until she gets home from work the next day. On weekends she can leave me wild if she so desires.

This seems to be a reasonable compromise. I think the daily routine of locking and unlocking her weenie, while some trouble for her, is also a nice sexual ritual that confirms our commitment to each other. While I wear the device locked on my penis, she puts it on and removes it. It’s sort of like the ring ceremony at a wedding, just repeated every day. I don’t think we need to recite vows, but we can renew our commitment and power exchange through this simple ritual.

It may seem odd that we find a connection through a piece of bondage hardware. I can’t speak for her, but I definitely do. There is something strongly affirmative and assertive about the act of locking the device on my penis. I know that many couples allow the men to remove and put on the chastity device for themselves. I think they are missing out on an important part of the chastity experience. Even though the keyholders may retain possession of the key, the act of physically putting the device on the penis and locking it is very powerful.

Even though I would never consider unlocking myself, the keys for the device are kept in a locked safe. Only Mrs. Lion knows the combination. The act of locking and unlocking me is not sexual. Pretty much everything else Mrs. Lion does with my penis is. I know that it’s hot to be locked in a chastity device, but that doesn’t make the act of locking and unlocking me necessarily sexual. The reason I emphasize this is that the locking and unlocking ritual is a strong statement of domination and submission. While it may be something that we do every day, I have no assurance that Mrs. Lion might at some point, choose to leave me locked for an extended period of time. I’m very aware that I have no access to the mechanism that will let me out.

On the other hand, times when Mrs. Lion doesn’t lock me in a chastity device leaves me feeling a bit lost. That commitment ritual is important to me. In one way, being left wild feels a little like she doesn’t care what I do with my penis. I know that’s really not true, but on a gut level it does feel that way.

It turns out that wearing a chastity device has less and less to do with sex as time goes by. Instead, it becomes a powerful symbol of the power exchange and ownership between locked male and his keyholder. It may be a little difficult for a keyholder to understand this. After all, her part in the chastity experience is pretty limited in terms of the chastity device.

That’s too bad. I think the the locking and unlocking ritual can be a very meaningful part of the sexual power exchange. I’m not suggesting that special words be spoken, though I know some people like to do that. I am suggesting that the keyholder does the actual physical work of putting on and removing the device and that both people think about the important commitment this act symbolizes.

By:
In: Punishment, Edging, Lion's Journal, Spanking
rear view of lion
A clean, virginal canvas waiting for Mrs. Lion to begin painting again.

As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, I had a ruined orgasm on Saturday night. It was a bit of a surprise for both of us. It felt quite good even though I didn’t get the entire orgasm experience. I’m glad Mrs. Lion took the chance to push me hard enough to actually get to that point.

The thing is that the ruined orgasm is a good sign. I’m coming back. Over the last week or so I’ve recovered a lot of my balance and I’m doing things I haven’t done for over two months. I even cooked dinner last night. It wasn’t a gourmet feast. It was just sausage and peppers. But it’s the first time I’ve been able to stand up, use a knife for kitchen prep, and actually cook the food. We also went shopping on Saturday. I was able to wander around the store with Mrs. Lion instead of just going to the prescription counter and back to the car.

I feel good about this progress. I don’t feel particularly good about the physical challenges I’ve been facing and continue to face with my vision being affected. They are distractions for me. However, so far with Mrs. Lion’s help, I’ve been able to work around these limitations. Most of them are not permanent.

In her post Saturday, Mrs. Lion suggested that I might be punished if I fail to reach the edge when she masturbates me. That’s an interesting twist. Generally, punishments are given out for failure to comply with rules or fpr disobedience. Her suggestion applies to something I don’t consciously control, yet causes her (and me) a bit of distress when it occurs. She’s a very clever lioness. She knows that a spanking and/or other punishment is likely to prime my sexual pump. So it makes very good sense to punish me if I don’t perform sexually.

Last night, I was almost sure I would get my first spanking for this. However, Mrs. Lion’s perseverance got me to the edge and beyond. Apparently, I sit on the pre-orgasmic plateau much longer than I did before, to the point that it frustrates us both. With sufficient effort, I will get past that point. Perhaps Mrs. Lion needs to reconsider her punishment policy to spank me if I either don’t get to the edge or it takes too long for me to get there. I think that’s fair.

“How long is too long?” you may ask. I don’t know but I’m pretty sure she does. We know that it’s not possible to train someone to come more quickly. However, we have many years of experience with just how long it takes me under normal conditions. Certainly there can be very good reasons it can take me longer. I don’t think that matters. It’s not like spanking me is a cruel thing to do when I don’t perform as expected. While I don’t like it at the time, we all know I like getting spanked. I also find the other punishments if not pleasant, arousing before and after.

I’ve always liked a kind of game around spanking. Our NFL game, where I get two swats for every point either team scores, was a lot of fun for me. Sexual performance spanking is another opportunity for this sort of fun. I know that Mrs. Lion has written about the differences between play spanking and punishment. From my side of the paddle, I see less and less difference as time goes by.

My NFL swats feel just as powerful as a naughty lion spanking. I’m fine with this. The idea that a spanking is a spanking without distinguishing between the reasons for it, appeals to me. After all, the “fun” for me is anticipating and remembering what happened. I don’t think a punishment spanking will be diminished if so-called play spankings are administered the same way. After all, there is a difference: The play spanking is understood to be something we decided (well, Mrs. Lion decided) would be fun. The punishment spanking is understood to be retribution and education to change my behavior. I am never confused about which is which.

In the spirit of providing extra sexual stimulation, this new use of punishment may not be discipline in the classic sense, but it’s therapeutic for me just the same. On the subject of discipline, Mrs. Lion has yet to expand beyond the two initial rules I received years ago. Now that I am recovering and hopefully, less trouble, she may be able to focus more on her role as my disciplining wife.

I hope this will happen pretty soon. During our time of suspended rules and diminished play, I felt a bit of a hole in our relationship. For whatever reason, active discipline has become something we both integrated into the way we relate to each other. For me, it provides a sense of emotional balance. As the paddles gather dust and Mrs. Lion’s soap-scrap jar fills, I can feel myself becoming a little sadder and lost.

Since I am an independent and pretty aggressive soul, this surprises me. After the last couple of months, I can’t deny it. I know what you’re thinking. I was always this way: a closet submissive. I don’t think anyone is a submissive or a dominant. Regardless of how you want to label it, it’s obvious that I’ve become a disciplined husband. I need the firm hand of my wife. It feels a little odd admitting this. I suppose part of me wonders if that makes me less of a man.

Another part of me worries that this need puts additional pressure on my lioness to sustain her role. I think things are better when she does, but there is no chance that if she stops she will lose me. My love for her is far deeper. She’s my best friend and the one person in the world I trust with everything. The fact that she also trains me and punishes me is a special bonus I absolutely love.

I also think it’s true that our consistent pursuit of a disciplinary relationship has imprinted me with my role as disciplined husband. I suppose that means that if we stop doing it, eventually the imprint will fade and my need will diminish. I don’t get the sense that Mrs. Lion wants that. I know the extra trouble is sometimes annoying for her. I also know that whether she admits it or not, she appears happier when she is much more active as a disciplining wife. Besides, isn’t it easier to use the paddles rather than dust them? Isn’t it a shame to waste all that soap she’s been saving?