By:
In: Anal play
anal trainer kit
Inexpensive anal trainer kit. The rings on the ends of the plugs makes it easy to move them in and out. Click image to go to shopping site.

For a long time I’ve enjoyed – well that’s not exactly the right word – anal play. I guess that in my case, stimulating my anus is a little erotic in terms of sexually stimulating me, and very erotic in the mental BDSM sense. Anyway, Mrs. Lion occasionally will do some anal play. In the past, she expressed interest in being able to fist me. That is, getting her whole hand up my ass. All of her attempts failed after the first three fingers. I just couldn’t handle the pain when she tried to get more penetration.

I thought the problem was my inability to relax enough to accept more of her hand. That turned out to be a correct assumption. To solve this problem, I suggested she begin to train me to accept increasingly larger dildos. By larger I mean thicker. Almost all of our dildos are about 8 inches of insertable length. That’s a good size and safe to use. Over time, she was able to get me to accept, without too much discomfort, a 2 inch diameter dildo. This should be wide enough to be about the same size as four of her fingers. Yet I still had extremely serious pain each time she tried.

One school of thought is that I should learn to accept the pain and let her keep going. I don’t disagree. However, this sort of anal training requires a lot of patience on both of our parts. It’s absolutely possible for her to get her entire hand in. However, it takes considerable preparation to get in there. When you see porn videos that show a man being fisted, insertion generally takes a couple of minutes at most. What you don’t see is the long preparation done before the video was shot.

The anus has considerable ability to expand. It’s a muscle that normally stays contracted. Training for penetration has nothing to do with stretching anything. It’s training to learn to relax the anal sphincters; there are two: the one we all see and on further inside. This takes time and patience. Over the years I’ve done quite a bit of research on the subject and only recently did I learn a surprisingly easy and reliable way to get trained sufficiently to be fisted. This training doesn’t use dildos at all.

According to people who have a lot of experience with this, a very good way to be trained to relax when needed is using butt plugs in a different way. Mrs. Lion likes to use butt plugs with me. They are very easy for her. She lubes up the plug puts a little more lube around the rim of my anus and inserts the plug. Then she can go do other things while the plug marinates inside me. The plugs construction is designed to let me retain it without any external devices to hold in. It has a conical shape ending in a shoulder which is a sharp right angle, followed by a stem much thinner than the widest part of the plug, and then at the end a wide base to prevent the plug from slipping inside.

Plugs come in a wide variety of sizes starting from relatively thin ones (about 1 inch in diameter) up to giants that measure four or more inches in diameter. The way Mrs. Lion uses butt plugs is a good way to express her dominance. She generally has me retain the plug for two hours or more. As time goes by, it becomes less and less comfortable. When I’m wiggling on the bed looking for a comfortable position, she usually removes the plug. This is a fine and fun form of anal play.

fisting hand position

Training for activities like fisting and pegging require a different sort of training. In this case, the plug is used very much like a dildo. It is inserted all the way and then removed. Inserted again and again. This is very uncomfortable, at least in the beginning but it’s absolutely critical in terms of anal training. Rather than just training the anus to comfortably accept larger and larger objects, butt plug training teaches the anus to relax immediately upon the presence of something trying to enter.

This makes sense to me. The most uncomfortable part of anal play for me is the initial insertion. That initial pressure and expansion is always the most painful part. Once an object is in and if it’s left there, after a relatively short time it’s easy to retain. The uncomfortable part is the opening and closing of my sphincters. If you’ve done anal play, I’m sure you’ve noticed how removing a butt plug is very uncomfortable as the shoulder is puledl out and then almost immediately feels good as the rest of the plug slides out. Slow pegging with a butt plug forces experiencing that discomfort over and over. After time, I’m told that the discomfort becomes less and less. Your body learns to relax as soon as something is pressed against your anus.

Training this way is done very much the same as with dildos. Start with a relatively small diameter butt plug, and as discomfort is reduced, go one size up. If this is done on a regular basis, say three times a week, over time, your anus will be trained to relax and accept larger and larger objects. This doesn’t take a very long time I’m told. If the sessions are long enough, reasonably comfortable pegging with a plug can be achieved with only two sessions before a larger size will be needed.

Keep it slippery
Let’s talk about lube. Obviously, lots of lubrication is needed to avoid injury and massive pain. Over the years, we’ve tried lots and lots of lubes. The most slippery lubes tend to be silicone. However, since almost all toys are now made of silicone, this lube can’t be used with toys of the same material. It will soften and dissolve the toy. We’ve been using Boy Butter, a reasonably inexpensive lube designed explicitly for anal play. It’s easy to clean up and won’t break the bank if you use a lot.

Eros is a fairly new product that is highly recommended in the articles I read about fisting. It is a silicone hybrid. People say it is safe to use with silicone toys. Experienced fisting advocates rate this particular lube very highly. It is thick and long-lasting. It contains a slight amount of anesthetic that helps make it easier to accept objects. It is supposed to be extremely slippery. I have a jar (it’s expensive, by the way) and I hope Mrs. Lion will use it on her next anal session with me.

For me, anal training is something I love to hate. It’s uncomfortable and the furthest thing I can think of from activities that will make me hard. However, it’s also one of the most visceral ways to sexually submit. Thinking about being fisted is very exciting to me. I’m even excited about being trained. However, I’m sure I will be unhappy during the process.

Some women find anally penetrating their partners very sexy. I know one woman who makes this the first thing she does with any man. She keeps several pairs of rubber gloves in her purse for this purpose. She enjoys taking 45 minutes to an hour to train the man to take her hand. She’s always successful. Unfortunately, the one time she was able to try this with me, we were interrupted just as she put on her glove and began using one finger inside me, she had to leave.

Years ago I knew a couple who love anal fisting. They would do workshops on how to do it at national events. I attended more than one. Her husband was so well-trained that she could make the appropriate hand shape for insertion, lube her hand, and in seconds be halfway up to her elbow. This is probably the most extreme case I know. She really loved doing that to him and he loved it too. I don’t expect Mrs. Lion to be that enthusiastic. However, in the past, she has worked up some excitement about training me.

The subject of “training” really turns me on. In a way, it’s like being hypnotized. I somehow learn to do something without any conscious thought. I call it training, others consider it conditioning. In either case, it’s a very visceral experience to find yourself unconsciously conforming to rules imposed by others. Anal training is a very strong example of this sort of conditioning. To a small degree I’m already conditioned to accept some of the smaller objects we have. It’s easy for me to accept the Njoy metal butt plug. Mrs. Lion inserted it a few weeks ago and was quite surprised at how easily I took it. Maybe that plug is a good starting point for me. Repeated insertion and removal of that plug will be less alien to me. I’m pretty sure it won’t be much fun in the beginning. I’m also sure it won’t take long before it’s easy for me to manage it. Then Mrs. Lion can move on to the next larger object.

Like everything else we do, I guess we have to agree to try and then use a structured schedule to assure we actually follow through. Maybe this could be part of the recreational activity on punishment day. That would be Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. What do you think Mrs. Lion?

By:
In: Lion's Journal
my flat ass and legs
This is my body. I have a small, flat ass and fairly thin legs. The kind of jeans I had been buying hung off me in a very unflattering, baggy way.

I am sorry our long weekend is over. It was really good to be with Mrs. Lion for four straight days. Now we are back to the same old routine. Since I’m working from home and I can’t really drive, the number of hours I wear clothing is a tiny fraction of each day. In fact, days go by when I don’t wear a stitch. When Mrs. Lion comes home from work, she generally removes all of her clothing as well. I guess we’re accidental nudists. We certainly don’t have a political or social agenda about not wearing clothing. I don’t wear any because it’s a rule I must follow. I’m not sure exactly why Mrs. Lion started being naked at home. Maybe she caught it from me. [Mrs. Lion – I think I did catch it from Lion in the beginning. Plus, it seems wasteful to put on clean clothes for just a few hours. Now, I stay naked, or not fully clothed, because it’s warm in the house. I guess having a naked Lion means having a warmer house.] In my case, at least, it cuts down on the laundry. Last week, for example, I only had two pairs of socks and two pairs of shorts. That means I wore clothes only twice: both times to go to physical therapy.

I know a lot of the nudist community thinks going au natural is better for the health. From the pictures I’ve seen, nudists seem to spend all their time at the beach. I suppose that’s good for the health as long as you wear enough sunblock. In any case, I can’t think of the last post I wrote while wearing clothing.

We don’t always publish every comment we get. Some people want to use our blog as a place to publish one of their own. They generally send long, rambling stories about some chastity or female domination activity. They almost never have a thing to do with what we write about. I think those people should go to the time, trouble, and expense of having their own blogs. I like to think that comments we do print, represent part of the dialogue where we all learn from one another.

While we got rid of a lot of boxes this past weekend, the supply of cartons containing our belongings seems endless. Some of the things I consider essential, like a WebCam for business meetings and my trusty point-and-shoot digital camera remain among the missing. I decided to replace them. It’s an expense I didn’t want to have, but I need both in the very near future. I will be writing a comprehensive review of the Evotion chastity device and that will require considerable photography. Mrs. Lion needs to use her phone when she wants to take a picture of my nether regions to illustrate some point either to you or to me. That’s inconvenient and not nearly as useful as our little digital camera.

Even though I had an orgasm only a couple of days ago, I’ve been feeling pretty frisky. I hope that means I’ve gotten past the current difficulties that Mrs. Lion has had edging me. I guess we lions are creatures of habit. That applies to pretty much everything. We both miss the snuggle and edging sessions. We’ve been trying to figure out a better schedule for play. I’m still having a lot of trouble sleeping through the night. I’m getting to watch a lot of streaming TV at two or three in the morning. Sometimes, I fall asleep while watching this early morning TV, and wake up missing an entire episode. That’s helpful because it lets me figure how much sleep I got. It looks like I get 2 to 3 hours of sleep-during-TV a night, and another three or four hours the conventional way. That’s not too bad though it still leaves me feeling tired and out of sorts during the day.

Neither Mrs. Lion or nor I have a lot of fashion consciousness. I’ve always bought jeans based on my waist size and inseam. Various styles eluded me. Usually, I ended up buying randomly. It turns out that almost all of my purchases are “relaxed fit”. That means the thighs and butt have extra space. I have a flat ass. Thank goodness Mrs. Lion likes it. She teases me that she spanks me where my butt ought to be.

Anyway, after a comment about my flat rear end, I wondered if there was something I could do to either bulk it up, or at the very least make it look as good as it can. So, I did a Google search on, “jeans to make a flat ass look better”. To my surprise, there were quite a few references. Actually, my first search was on how to make my butt fill out a bit more. I have to wear suspenders because the combination of my narrow hips and absent gluteus maximus, wearing a belt does no good and pants just slide off my hips and down.

Anyway, I didn’t see any rational suggestions on how to improve the shape of my rear. So then I looked for suggestions on how to look better if plagued by a small butt. That’s when I found out why there are so many different kinds of jeans for men. Apparently, each style is geared toward a specific body type. One informative article suggested that if you buy “slim fit” jeans, it draws attention away from the flat rear end and accentuates the nice general shape of your lower body.

Of course, this only works if you have a nice shape to your lower body. Fortunately, mine is pretty good. I have muscular, but not very big thighs and my lower legs and knees are in proportion. So I ordered a pair of slim fit jeans in my waist and inseam size. It was kind of odd getting into them. I was used to the baggy feel of wide-thigh legs and roomy calf space. I actually felt friction as I pulled the jeans on over my legs. It wasn’t exactly tight. It was just a nice, close fit. I didn’t have a ton of cloth hanging down behind me. While the jeans didn’t exactly hug my ass, they didn’t leave space for two or three more. It turns out that I looked pretty good in these jeans. I ordered several more of the style.

There are so many things I don’t know. Clothing facts are major areas of ignorance for me. I never even imagined there was any place I could go for advice. I figured that women spent their time thinking about fashion, guys don’t. Apparently they do, or there wouldn’t be 1500 different kinds of Levi’s. I suppose if I were a real nudist, I wouldn’t have to worry about the best jeans to conform to my body. Although, I’m sure even the most orthodox of the naturists have to put on clothing now and then. So they also probably look for things that make them look better.

I wonder if the “real” naturists express their fashion sense by how they groom their body hair. In the pictures I’ve seen, very few women or men for that matter, have any pubic hair. That’s nice to find out. If I ever get to go to a nude beach I’ll fit right in.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

penis power toolIt was an eight day wait between orgasms this time. That’s about average lately. For reasons I have absolutely no clue about, it takes a very long time to get me to the edge. To save her arm muscles, Mrs. Lion used the power tool: the Magic Wand. This is an industrial-strength vibrator. In Mrs. Lion’s skilled hands it has never failed to get me off. Still, it took nearly 30 minutes before I got to the edge. When I was extremely close, she took the vibrator away and I humped air for a while as I tried to get over the edge.

She let me calm down a little bit, then applied the power tool again. Usually when she does this, it takes very little time for me to get back up to the top of the curve. This time it didn’t. She needed quite a few more minutes of stimulation before I got back to the edge. This time, she kept on and I had a very nice orgasm. I have no idea why my physiological reactions are changing like this. Apparently I can be reliably made to ejaculate with enough patience and energy.

I’ve never really talked about this, but it is a fairly odd feeling to be sexually passive. On very few occasions have I been allowed to be the master of my orgasm. I’m not referring to masturbating. I know I’ll never be able to do that again. A few times Mrs. Lion has let me hump her hand until I came. Usually, sex is me lying on my back and Mrs. Lion providing stimulation. If and when I ejaculate is purely up to her. My participation is limited to providing an erect penis.

Of course that comes with the territory. I surrendered all sexual control. Even if I were allowed to hump my way to glory, it would only be at the pleasure of my lioness. I know full well that orgasm is not necessarily part of sex that I experience. In fact, ejaculation only occurs only a few percentage points of the time. This is highly unusual for any male. Until six years ago, just like other guys, ejaculation was something I produced on demand. Most of the time, in the last few years, it was by my own hand. Before that, it was inside my lioness.

Lots of guys who practice male chastity romanticize this lack of control. They feel it is a very sexy form of submission. Surrendering our orgasms to a woman is a very hot concept. But, over time it takes its toll. I don’t feel like straying in order to find sex that I control. I have absolutely no desire for that. I don’t want Mrs. Lion to let me call the shots either. What we are doing works very well for us. I have no wish to change it. That doesn’t mean these feelings don’t come up.

magic wand on my hard penis
Mrs. Lion’s little helper.

I wonder if other guys in similar situations feel those little doubts about such a strong loss of control. Mrs. Lion and I both realized that if we were to be successful with our power exchanges, we had to be as consistent as humanly possible. When it comes to sex, that consistency has been absolute. Yes, occasionally I’ve fondled my penis when it wasn’t locked in a male chastity device. Mrs. Lion knows that. I’ve gotten myself erect, but never aroused enough to be close to ejaculation. All I’ve managed to do was make myself hornier. This is how Mrs. Lion intends it to be.

The problem for me is that when things aren’t going that well, when Mrs. Lion is tired or stressed, she is very unlikely to want to do anything sexual with me. I’m fine with that most of the time. However, if more than a couple of days go by without some sort of teasing or other sexual activity, I ask her to do something. When I do, she almost always agrees and provides some sort of sexual stimulation.

She’s wonderful that way. The thing is, I feel very guilty about asking her. I understand that there are lots of outside pressures competing for her time and energy. Sexually satisfying, or at least, teasing me has to take a relatively low spot in her priorities. Again, that’s perfectly understandable and I can accept it. But I also feel the biological pressure for stimulation. Some men are naturally submissive. They enjoy being put into a low priority category. It’s arousing for them to feel that they are ignored because they aren’t important. For them, it’s really hot when their partners pay no attention to them physically.

That doesn’t work for me. I’m not submissive by nature. That means that when I’m not receiving sexual attention, I feel a combination of guilt and anxiety. I’m anxious for her touch. It doesn’t matter whether I get an orgasm or not. It’s just incredibly validating to feel her hand sexually stimulating me. I may not make a lot of sense to you, but it’s how I feel. One of the most important clauses in our original male chastity contract was that Mrs. Lion would unlock me and edge me at least once every other day. She came up with that. It was clear then that I needed the attention, if not the sexual satisfaction of an orgasm.

It’s not that Mrs. Lion goes for long stretches without playing with me. She doesn’t. However, it’s generally the last thing she does in the evening. Sexual activity comes behind almost everything else in terms of her time. I recognize that some of the things need to be done before me. These include the food preparation and cleanup, punishments for me if earned, and her shower and other personal activities. The problem with that is that it’s often 10 PM by the time she’s ready for some bed activity. I’m not doing well at that hour of the night. I can’t explain what the problem is, but I’m just tired and I don’t respond well sexually. To make things worse, I’ve been falling asleep in the early evening while Mrs. Lion is occupied with her other activities. This seems to bother her.

I’ve noticed that when I have these naps, usually 30 to 60 minutes long, she doesn’t seem interested later in any play activity. It’s as if the fact that I fell asleep indicates that I’m not interested in activity with her. This is absolutely not true. I can’t control these periods of sleep. They come on me with no warning. Some of the time, when I wake up, I’m confused because I wasn’t aware that I slept at all. This seems to be a regular occurrence. I’ve talked to people about it and it’s not unusual or unhealthy. It’s just my fatigue. The pain in my shoulders restricts the amount of time I can sleep uninterrupted. I seem to be making up for that with these cat naps.

Mrs. Lion doesn’t seem willing to wake me up to do things. And she behaves as though once I’ve had one of these naps, I’m done for the night. I’m hoping we can change that. I’m also hoping that we can change our evening routine so that we start things earlier. There would be a huge help. We’ve had a few conversation along these lines. Mrs. Lion has agreed to try. Still, we haven’t figured out how to get this to work correctly.

I’m sure we will work it out. This is just a different phase in my life. I have to work on feeling less guilty about needing attention. I also have to work with Mrs. Lion on changes we can make that work for both of us. We have an excellent track record of being able to do this. I’m very sure we will work this out to both of our satisfaction.

By:
In: CBT

I reminded Mrs. Lion about the prickly jockstrap on Friday night. She had forgotten that she said she was going to use it. I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut. Anyway, we had to struggle a little getting it on correctly. I still think we need to do some adjusting. The trick is to get it above the hip bone and then tighten it around the waist so that I can’t slip off. That’s a bit more difficult for me since I have very narrow hips. The trick there is to wait to fix the leg straps until the waist is correctly cinched. Based on her post yesterday, she has plans to continue using it. The leather on the straps will soften as they are worn.

For the record, those little prickles do dig in especially when I move. When I was lying down, a few of them were embedded in the tip of my penis. They aren’t long enough to draw blood, but I knew they were there. This is one of those toys that you really can’t share. It requires very good cleaning, even sterilization just to safely use on one person. I’m going to have to find some cleaning solution to make sure those nasty little points stay germ-free. Actually, they probably don’t need to be that clean since they are too small to puncture my skin. They’re just long enough to be very uncomfortable. It’s an odd feeling when you have to move wearing jockstrap. I know it will hurt but I don’t know where in my tender genitals the next prickle will occur.

I suppose a device like that is automatic CBT. Strap it on and it does the rest. I think the new toy that Mrs. Lion is getting me for my Christmas present requires more active participation on her part. It’s a bondage device that doesn’t inflict any serious discomfort on its own. Well maybe it does. It has some nasty little nipple clamps attached to a chain, which in turn is attached to me. If the chain is short enough, any movement on my part will tug on those nasty little alligator clips.

Yup, she’s right, I do like bondage. I’m getting excited just writing about it. I’m sure that’s why I am so fond of male chastity devices. They represent a special kind of bondage. It’s the kind Mrs. Lion likes best. Once locked on, doesn’t require any other effort on her part. The thing about full-time bondage devices, like the male chastity cages, is that after a relatively short time they aren’t physically exciting. Sure, thinking about them is a turn on. Actually wearing one becomes more of an inconvenience.

This isn’t true if you’re new to enforced male chastity. When it’s new, it’s very exciting all the time. Every attempted erection adds to the thrill. After a while, and by a while I mean years of wearing one, the excitement wears off and the device becomes part of me. At that point, it’s just an inconvenience when I try to pee. That doesn’t mean it’s lost its utility. Every attempted erection reminds me that I don’t have any control over sex.

Of course, I know that I had don’t have any control over sex whether or not my cock is locked into a chastity device or not. It’s impossible to explain how this feels. I think that every guy who has spend years locked in a chastity device “forgets” how to get himself off. At least that’s true of me. Some guys are allowed to jerk off when the device is removed and their keyholders tell them to relieve themselves. That’s not true in my case. On day one of our male chastity adventure, I was told I may never masturbate again, ever.

Recently, when Mrs. Lion has had difficulty getting me to the edge, I wonder if she doesn’t slightly regret that decision. The only way I can help get myself more aroused is to hump her hand. My hand isn’t allowed to participate. I must admit that I really like humping her hand. It’s very exciting. It’s particularly fun when she simply holds her hand still, gripping my cock, and lets me provide all the stimulating motion. If I get too excited, she simply releases her grip.

I wonder what it would be like to do that while wearing the prickly jockstrap. You see, it has a fly. I have a feeling it would be very difficult to do it while those little teeth were biting into me. I probably couldn’t keep it up. I don’t think I want to try.

Hand humping is one of the few activities I can perform that directly affects my sexual stimulation. So far, I have had very few opportunities to do it. Almost all of my sexual activities consist of Mrs. Lion jerking me off. Occasionally, about, about 30% of the time and she lets me come, I get oral attention. If you factor in the times I am edged and teased, well under 5% of the time I get any stimulation other than Mrs. Lion’s hand. She literally holds my sex life in her hand.

I have mixed feelings about that. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy it. I love it when she jerks me off. I love it when she edges me. I have mixed feelings about her using lube. Sometimes it feels great. More of the time, I feel less stimulated than when her dry hand is around my cock. When she tickles my balls, I really get turned on. I know that other men have more sexual variety. I think I would like that. But it doesn’t matter. My sexual pleasure almost always rests in the palm of Mrs. Lion’s hand.