By:
In: Lion's Journal
A pup like Willow

Konrad Lorenz was an Austrian zoologist who wrote many books on animal behavior. One of his most popular was Man Meets Dog. This book moved me when I read it many years ago. It’s a deeply personal account of his relationship with dogs. Some of his conclusions are scientifically incorrect, but his message is moving.

He wrote about the particular problem that Mrs. Lion and I are facing: handling the reality that dogs don’t live as long as we do. Our relationship with Daisy was as deep and strong as our love for a child and each other. She was a member of our family. We treasure our memories of her.

One of Lorenz’s points was that the best way to honor a dog we love who passes away is to get another of the same breed. He believed that while each dog is certainly an individual, there is a shared foundation that all members of that breed possess. Nine years ago, when our beloved golden retriever Lily died, I wasn’t sure I could handle the idea of giving my heart to a dog again. Mrs. Lion knew better. About two weeks after Lily passed, Mrs. Lion researched available pups. She found a breeder with goldens at a price we could afford.

She called them and arranged a visit. I agreed to go. I was still unsure of whether I wanted another dog. When we got to the kennel, and a herd of excited puppies scampered around our feet, I was hooked. They only had one female. Mrs. Lion picked her up and handed her to me. She didn’t look like a golden. She was light gold with short hair. Her tiny tail was wagging frantically. She didn’t try to squirm out of my arms.

We bought her. It was Daisy. She spent the ride home snoozing in my arms. It was obvious that she wanted to be with us. She went into her crate and spent the night sleeping. She never whined or complained. We were obviously meant for each other. Daisy was nothing like Lily. She was a bulldozer of a dog who pushed her way into anything that interested her.  We were both delighted. None of us regretted our adoption.

Daisy died a week ago. Daisy taught me that the best thing to do was to find another dog like her. I was wary. This time it was for a different reason. I didn’t want a dog who would end up with bad hips, knees, and eyes. It was those bad joints that put Daisy into such pain and forced her to leave us years early. I can’t face that again.

I didn’t know it at the time, or maybe it didn’t exist. The American Kennel Club has a marketplace for puppies. Only breeders who are members can advertise there. They also require breeders to show if their puppies’ parents were tested for the genetic weaknesses of the specific breed. Golden Retrievers have a genetic weakness for hips, knees, eyes, and heart problems. Decades of too much inbreeding have weakened the genetic pool for most breeds of dogs. In case you wondered, the same problems plague mixed breed dogs too.

I only looked at breeders who said that the parents of the pups were tested. It was surprising how many didn’t bother. Mrs. Lion and I are very fond of the nearly-white goldens. We first saw one on the sitcom, “Mom.” We thought it would be fun to have a dog that color. However, we didn’t make that a hard requirement.

It turned out that Mrs. Lion was doing a similar search and also ended up on the AKC site. When she got back from New York on Saturday, we compared notes. Several breeders within 250 miles had female puppies whose parents were tested. I called a few and left voicemails. The first breeder who returned my call was one whose pups looked great. We had a nice talk. She had two females available. One was spoken for, and the prospective owners were coming to decide which of the two they wanted. We could have the other one. There is a steep price for a dog so carefully bred. Fortunately, our pet health insurance (Trupanion) covered all but a few hundred dollars of Daisy’s hospital bill. I took money out of my 401k to pay for the hospital. We’ll use the money to buy this new puppy.

Because of the historic heat here, we agreed to put off our visit until Wednesday. The breeder is over 200 miles away. If we like the puppy–fat chance we won’t–we can get her in about a week. She is still too young to take away from her mother. I’m very happy with that timing. I’m still processing Daisy’s death.

I always believed that people needed time to process the loss of a dog before adopting a new one. My thought was that the new dog would be less loved because the former dog’s memory was too fresh. Konrad Lorenz was right. It feels like we are honoring Daisy by welcoming another pup into our lives. This dog won’t replace Daisy any more than Daisy replaced Lily. The new dog is a continuation of the circle of life. She will be named Willow. We welcome her into our family with our hearts full of love.

By:
In: Spanking, Punishment
my unspanked ass
My unspanked bottom. It’s a fresh canvas for Mrs. Lion.

You have to understand that where we live, a heatwave is a couple of days over 85 degrees F. The Pacific Northwest, particularly the Seattle area, has its own climate. While other places freeze and swelter, we live in a moderate climate that rarely goes below freezing and above 90. Suddenly, we are confronted with Arizona weather. Since I’m a native New Yorker (Greenwich Village), I can’t imagine living without AC. When we moved to this house, we bought two portable AC’s. I doubt they will give too much relief to 100-degree weather. Better than nothing, right?

I’m just over a week since Mrs. Lion let me ejaculate. I’m pretty horny. She is unlikely to give me relief. Poor, horny lion! On the flip side, she will almost certainly spank me today (I’m writing this on Saturday). There is also a good chance that she will do it again on Monday. She’s very consistent about her spanking plans.

There are some good reasons that she has me on a twice-weekly spanking plan. From her perspective, she gets the chance to perfect her technique now that we have the spanking bench. I get my hide toughened, which may reduce the bleeding. We both benefit from the frequent reminders of our disciplinary relationship.

You would think that after over six years of domestic discipline that spanking would be a routine activity. It isn’t. Over the years, Mrs. Lion has learned to be a strict spanker who makes sure I get maximum pain from each spanking. She has developed into a true DWC wife. She is still working on perfecting her technique.

The problem for us is that Mrs. Lion has a problem punishing me for annoying her. She can’t reliably do it. Perhaps with our minimum of two spankings a week, the process of identifying annoying behavior and punishing it will become easier.

Our “just because” spankings are full ten-minute sessions. Mrs. Lion is committed to delivering one every Monday and Thursday. If I annoy her, perhaps she can add time to the scheduled spanking to punish me for the offense. She is currently following the DWC plan. She adds an extra five minutes to the initial ten for any additional offenses. If I interrupt her, she can extend the next “just because” spanking by five minutes.

She is tempted to change the “just because” spanking into punishment for an offense if needed. This is probably not a helpful thing to do. Offenses require their own retribution. She has said that. Much as it pains me, she’s right. We both learn best by taking very deliberate actions.

We made the most progress when Mrs. Lion decided to act consistently and frequently. Spanking me has to be simple and undramatic for her. That’s where the “just because” spankings come in. If she understands that she doesn’t need to be fair when deciding to punish me, she will be much more likely to punish annoying behavior. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t all my fault.

It’s always about love.

Since she is learning that it is perfectly fine to spank me twice a week for no particular reason, she will understand that spanking me for something I may not be totally responsible for is no big deal. It’s good for me whether or not I really did something wrong. It’s just an activity we share. Make sense?

If Mrs. Lion learns to consider spanking as no big deal, she will be free to do it without a lot of soul searching. We both know it’s good for our marriage. Hell, if she feels no qualms about spanking me for not setting up the coffee pot, why would she feel any guilt about beating me for interrupting her. If she is spanking me twice a week for no real reason, why fret over a possibly unfair punishment? Spare the paddle and spoil the lion.

By:
In: Spanking

We’ve been practicing domestic discipline almost as long as Mrs. Lion has taken control of my orgasms. I can’t claim that what we do is typical of spanking couples. I suspect that we aren’t very different from the others. Domestic discipline has a reputation of being a form of spousal abuse. After all, Mrs. Lion beats me if I don’t obey her. Sounds abusive.

It isn’t. In almost every relationship featuring spanking, the person who gets spanked initiates it. I have always found the idea of being spanked very arousing. When I was allowed to masturbate, my fantasies often had me over a woman’s knee, receiving a butt-blistering spanking. I’ve had those fantasies as far back as I can remember.

In the beginning

Before we began disciplinary spankings, Mrs. Lion would paddle me as part of a BDSM scene. It was very hot. It took years before Mrs. Lion felt good about giving me a butt-bruising spanking. She didn’t want to hurt me. Punishing me was the furthest thing from her mind.

Way back in May 2014 I introduced my interest in spanking. I wrote (“Punishment or Fun“):

“I like feeling Mrs. Lion’s control. The true test of a punishment is whether it is something I want to avoid or invite. I invite spanking. I avoid shocks. I suspect I would invite short extensions of lockup time, but avoid longer ones (more than a week).”

That summer, Mrs. Lion incorporated spanking me into foreplay. This what she wrote on July 5 (“Lion’s Personal Fireworks“):

“I decided to start out with a spanking. I warmed him up with my hand and asked if my toy was hard? He maneuvered his penis so it was peeking out from under his balls between his legs so I could have access to it. I few swats to his buns. A little fondling of the balls and cock. Very nice. Finally I moved on to the nasty rubber paddle. I whomped his butt good. Toward the end I told him he had a series of hard swats coming and he wasn’t to move. He screamed into the pillows but managed to stay still. What a good boy!

Rubber paddle.

When I let him roll over his erection was standing tall. I played with him a little while with my hand and my mouth before straddling him. This time I was wet for him. I guess I really wanted him to come. It didn’t take long for his hips to start bucking into me. I love that! And there was one happy Lion.

He licked me to orgasm afterwards. I’m not sure how much of himself he cleaned out of me. It doesn’t really matter. I was happy. He was happy. And I like having his come inside me.”

Those were the days that Mrs. Lion enjoyed sex for herself. Even back in 2014, she was getting comfortable with spanking me hard enough to make me yelp. Spanking me as foreplay taught her that it was something I liked.

Late in 2014, I suggested that Mrs. Lion make rules and punish me for breaking them. Her first rules are still in force today. I was to wait for her to start eating before I begin and I avoid getting food on my shirt. She figured I would break them often enough to give us both practice with crime and punishment. She was right.

We exchanged a lot of posts in early 2015 about turning a spanking into a meaningful punishment. Finally, in early February Mrs. Lion decided to experiment. She would spank me every day for a week. I would get 300 swats with various paddles. The idea was for her to learn to deliver a truly memorable spanking and for me to learn to take one without trying to get away.

Here’s what she wrote about it (“More Baby Steps“):

“My experiment of punishing Lion every night for a week is to prove to myself I can do it. I know I can. But I have to drill it into my head that this is what he wants and I can do it. Lion wonders why I have focused on spanking as punishment. Well, he suggested it. And I have to start somewhere. Once I am more comfortable with it I may branch out into lengthening his wait, or taking away play days, or maybe something I haven’t thought of yet. Baby steps. I’ll get there.”

It turned out that her experiment spanking were more severe than any punishments she administered before and after she did her week of spanking experiments. By March of 2015 we were committed to domestic discipline. I was confused by the way Mrs. Lion chose to do it. She was content catching and punishing me for the few, rather-trivial rules she established.

Over the next six years, little changed in terms of what offenses earned me a spanking. Along the line, she added setting up the coffee pot to my required activities. Over the last year or two, that damn coffee pot has gotten me the most punishment.

turning up the volume

Although the scope of offenses hasn’t increased much, the punishments have become much more severe. Mrs. Lion is comfortable with her role as my disciplining wife. She no longer worries about punishing me. She is also immune to my yelps and cries. She spanks me until she is done.

A few months ago, I came across a letter written to the Disciplinary Wives Club that went into considerable detail about how members of that group spanked their husbands. It introduced a concept we never seriously considered: setting a timer to assure a spanking would last a minimum length. The DWC suggested at least ten minutes for one offense, with five minutes added for each additional offense. It was pointed out that the spanking didn’t have to end when the timer goes off. It just wouldn’t end before.

Mrs. Lion embraces this wholeheartedly. When the timer goes off, she keeps swatting and swatting and swatting. It doesn’t spell relief for me. It turned out that the duration of a punishment was the missing piece for us. A ten-minute spanking guarantees that it will hurt me to sit for at least two days afterward. Ten minutes feels like an hour. Fifteen is almost unbearable.

My punishments are very real. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion treats domestic discipline as some sort of femdom activity. Catching me offend is a game to her. She loves games. It’s fun to catch me and then see the look on my face when I realize that I will be punished. She says that spanking me isn’t fun for her. It’s just something she does when I offend.

It isn’t clear to me how Mrs. Lion thinks about the actual process of beating my bottom. I think she may consider it a craft, something to master. She wants my entire bottom to be red and sore. Most recently, she works on the inside of my crack as well. So far, there have been no lasting effects. As she practices, I’m sure there will be.

I don’t require punishment very often. Until Mrs. Lion adds more offenses to the list, I can go weeks without earning punishment. We’ve discovered that this creates a problem. From my perspective, as time goes by, I forget how much I hate being spanked. I start thinking of it sexually. This can make me sloppier about my behavior, but not bad enough under current rules to get spanked.

Mrs. Lion starts forgetting to be vigilant. Our disciplinary relationship fades into the background. Even though we’ve been at this for six years, domestic discipline isn’t a solid feature of our marriage. To fix this, Mrs. Lion introduced “just because” spankings. These are scheduled spankings giving just because I must have done something to earn them.  She decided I should get two a week on Monday and Thursday. Any real offenses will earn me additional punishment.

the binary spanker

Any spanking Mrs. Lion administers is at the same strict level if we are playing Spankardy or getting a just because spanking. It is just as painful as punishment for a misdeed just because spankings are at least ten minutes long and hurt as much as punishment.

Mrs. Lion is now a binary spanker. She has only one gear. If she is going to swat my bottom, it will blister me. If I spill on my shirt or get her massively angry, the punishment is the same. The same is true of games and BDSM play. If I am to be spanked, it will be a bare-bottom, butt-blistering event. We tried it other ways, and it didn’t work.

She is committed to perfecting her spanking skills. The twice-weekly “just because” spankings will give her plenty of practice. Now that we have a spanking bench and she puts it near her paddle collection, she will also experiment with different implements.

In a masochistic way, I’m curious about her “crack spanking.” Can she do some lasting damage there? It’s very tender. She spent a little time there last time I was spanked. It wasn’t fun at all.

what it means to us

Domestic discipline has evolved in our marriage. Punishments are real and painful. So far, Mrs. Lion restricts her offenses to trivial household things. She has said that she wants to punish me if I interrupt her or act like a know-it-all. I imagine that will be coming soon. In the meantime, we have found a disciplinary language that suits our marriage. Even if I’m never punished for upsetting her, she knows she has the power to do it if she wants. She also knows I want her to use her power more widely.

Like real lions, I can pretty much do what I want until I cross a line with my lioness. Then I will get a painful reminder to watch my step. A sore bottom is a good teacher.

By:
In: Male Chastity, Sex

Do you remember when you began? Began what? Being different, of course. Our marriage changed when we started playing with male chastity. It was a sex game designed to amplify my desire, to make me desperate for relief. It gave Mrs. Lion control over any sexual pleasure I might get. It was exciting for me. Mrs. Lion had fun.

In the beginning, it was easy to imagine that this sexual power exchange could be a new lifestyle that would somehow give my lioness a new sense of power and satisfaction. People like to extrapolate new experiences into massively significant discoveries. Sure, for a while, it was an amazing feeling surrendering sexual control to my lioness.

Over the years, that feeling faded. We continue the practice. I haven’t owned a single ejaculation since 2014. It’s still fun for Mrs. Lion. She likes bringing me to the edge of orgasm and frustrating me. On some level, she is happy knowing that she owns every single ejaculation I have. I like it too for a different reason.

I no longer feel desperate for her to keep going just a few seconds more. I wait for my turn to come. If it isn’t today, I mentally shrug and wait for tomorrow. I’ve accepted her absolute control of my sexual pleasure. It doesn’t make me feel submissive. It’s just the way things are.

After a while, the inherent excitement of this power exchange goes away. It doesn’t mean that it loses its value. Orgasm control becomes a natural part of our relationship. We both take it for granted. Sex isn’t a reward. It isn’t withheld when I piss her off. Sex is an organic part of who we are. Unless one of us is not feeling well, Mrs. Lion will tease me as close to the edge as she can get me. When she decides it’s time for me to ejaculate, she keeps going.

There is no schedule. She doesn’t seem to have a certain number of days I have to wait before she lets me come. If she can get me very close, she may consider getting me off within the next few days. Or, she may not. Right now, it seems that the combination of my ability to get very close and her interest in giving me release is about once every two weeks.

That doesn’t mean she won’t make me wait longer. Sometimes, she will get me off sooner. It’s organic. Mrs. Lion decides based on my level of heat and her interest in relieving my frustration. It’s almost instinctive. Release lives in its own world. It comes when it comes. I have no control over it. Mrs. Lion doesn’t see her role as domination. She keeps me interested and occasionally satisfied.

We no longer need chastity hardware. I can’t imagine getting off on my own. No matter how close to the edge she drives me, I never think about finishing the job myself. We don’t talk about this very often. Sometimes she will tease me about being horny. Usually, neither of us mentions it. She likes it when I tell her I’m horny. I usually don’t. I’m going to work harder to let her know.

If you are new to all this, I imagine you find it hard to believe how it changed for us. I don’t think I could have predicted this outcome. Both of us figured that I would grow tired of the game, and we would stop. After a while, it was clear that orgasm control became a habit. Sometimes I do get tired of it. I’m sure Mrs. Lion gets tired of teasing me. It doesn’t matter. It’s sex for us. We don’t think it is a big deal. It’s our mating behavior. It’s all we know.