Lion wants me to express my feelings about punishment spankings. I mostly concentrate on hitting him in the right spots and making sure the swats are varied in both area and strength. Having said that, and maybe it’s because last night was the first real punishment in a long time, what I felt was a mixture of dread and worry.
Maybe those aren’t the correct words. I didn’t really want to spank him so hard for so long. But that’s the purpose of a punishment spanking, right? It has to be forceful enough to get the message across that breaking a rule is not okay. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the five-minute non-punishment spankings we’ve been doing. It’s possible I got lulled into thinking those spankings are the way punishment should be.
Whatever the reason, I may have been right to dread swatting him so hard for so long. When I put away the paddles and the spanking bench, I crawled under the covers and gave Lion a little while to process things. Eventually, I tried to hold his hand. He didn’t want that. I’d planned to snuggle, but if he didn’t want my hand, he certainly wouldn’t want me snuggling. Still, I stayed close with my hand in “no man’s land” between us in case he changed his mind. He was also very short with me whenever I said something. His kisses when I gave him his eye drops were flat. When I said, “I love you more than anything” at bedtime, he said, “I love you.” So much for a spanking wiping the slate clean.
What does this mean for future punishment? I don’t know. I’ve felt bad about swatting him before and powered through it. I’ve never felt like I did last night. I don’t remember Lion reacting the way he did.
This morning, he said his butt still hurts. Then he reported that today is punishment day. I said we’ll wait till later to decide if he should be swatted again. I don’t want a repeat performance of my dread and whatever he was feeling.
[Lion — Funny, we write very similar posts sometimes. My post for tomorrow morning is on the same subject. Mrs. Lion shouldn’t feel bad. She did exactly the right thing last night. I was grumpy and unhappy when she finished. I wasn’t angry at her. I just hated my punishment. Maybe this is why some couples use corner time after a spanking. It’s a good cooling-off period for both. I have a sore butt today and feel just as much love for Mrs. Lion as ever. She is the center of my life and I love her more than anything. Good work, sweetie.]