Back in March 2021, I wrote “True Orgasm Control” about my self-discovery that orgasm control (male chastity) isn’t about making the male horny and frustrating him. It’s about giving someone else the ability to decide when he gets to orgasm. Most of the guys who want to be locked in a chastity device or get orgasm control without the hardware assume it’s about having to suffer through long periods of abstinence before finally getting release.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. With or without hardware, the game is about control, not sex. Yes, from my perspective, it’s all about sex. That doesn’t mean it is. Sex is the instrument of control. Since most of us consider sexual release to be a private activity that we like to do when we are horny, we are challenged when our partner takes control.
This came to mind when one of my Twitter followers happened to read the True Orgasm Control post and wanted to inform me that she saw a difference between male chastity and orgasm control. I disagreed because trying to split pubic hairs about terminology is an Internet disease. To illustrate her point, she linked to a story (“Control“). It’s a bit of porn fiction about a newcomer to orgasm control being told to jerk off in a restaurant men’s room. The point, I assume, was that orgasm control has less to do with restricting orgasms than it does with controlling when and where the male has one.
I agree. Mrs. Lion has never been particularly concerned with how long I had to wait between orgasms. She makes me come when she feels the time is right. She has never changed locations. I always get off in our bedroom or on our massage tables. I don’t get to decide when. She is sometimes too much a creature of habit. Other than when she waxes me, I can’t remember the last time anything sexual happened before dinner.
Male chastity doesn’t require hardware. I learned that long-term male chastity device wearing trained me not to jerk off. I’ve been conditioned away from that behavior. It isn’t because I will get punished if I masturbate. I no longer see it as a sexual outlet for me. I haven’t masturbated in nine years. Mrs. Lion is my only source of release.
Because this has been going on for so many years, neither of us considers this arrangement unusual. It’s the way things are. I’m happy with it and I will continue to have my orgasms when and where my lioness wants.
Years ago I masturbated in the shower and then found my wife in the bedroom waiting to have some very hot sex with me.
Needless to say, I was already done and could not function. I resolved at that time to never masturbate myself to orgasm and would save it for her. Since then we learned about orgasm control and extended denial. That was a game changer for us and I am now only allowed to orgasm with permission or when she puts me over the edge.
That’s been our way of life for over a decade. It has its ups and downs for me.