In yet another spectacular instance of miscommunication, Lion didn’t have sex last night. I know. It’s a shock. You mean he and I don’t communicate well? Yes. It’s true. I think he says something he didn’t say or he thinks I say something I didn’t say. More accurately, we misinterpret. That goes both ways too. Many times he insists I’m not listening to him at all. Sometimes that’s true. I might be reading something or paying more attention to the TV than to him. Sometimes even when I am listening, I have to ask to see if what I heard was correct. Usually, it’s the difference between “can” and “can’t”. Of course, this doesn’t apply only to sex. That just happens to be where most of our miscommunication leads to problems.
Lately, the house has been louder because of fans and air conditioners. In general, the TV is a lot louder than it needs to be. He often can’t hear me even if I’m yelling at him. No, I’m not yelling at him. I’m trying to talk loud enough for him to hear. In those cases, he tends to be listening to the TV more than to me. Oh well. We both have work to do.
Last night it was the task of making his packets of pills that threw things off. I was planning on playing with him and doing the pills afterwards. He reminded me about the pills, and I took that to mean I should do them right away. I should have told him my plan. Why didn’t I? I just thought he was waiting impatiently for me to get him his pills. It was after dinner. He needs to take them with food. Ergo, make the damn pills now.
What I need to do is to start being more forceful with him. The problem, in my mind, is that if I say he’s having sex right this second and he doesn’t feel up for sex, that sort of undermines the forceful attitude. Why doesn’t he feel up for sex? Maybe it’s because he doesn’t feel well. Sometimes he’s not in the mood. He’ll tell me I shouldn’t take no for an answer in those cases. Excuse me, but doesn’t he have to be at least a little in the mood? If I wanted intercourse and he wasn’t hard, it ain’t happening. Millions and millions of women will tell you that if a man is in the mood and the woman isn’t, sex can proceed. How many women in my mother’s generation were even given a choice? I have given Lion an orgasm when he’s less than interested, but he has to be somewhat interested to give me something to work with. I have a definite problem with him telling me to soldier on even if he’s not in the mood.
I was going to suggest I clarify with him like I do when I’m trying to figure out if I’ve heard him correctly. However, wouldn’t that kill the mood? I don’t know. We’ll have to feel our way around.