Almost all of my posts about domestic discipline have been from my perspective regarding how I feel about the practice. Our reality is quite different. Let’s start at the most basic component of domestic discipline, spanking. Study after study has shown that almost ninety percent of us dream about spanking. As far as I can tell, the dreams are almost always about being spanked and are erotic. Yup, that’s me.
We’ve established that I want to be spanked. Does that mean domestic discipline is a spanking game? Remember, we are being absolutely honest. No fantasies. I think that Mrs. Lion considers it a sort of game. She makes rules, and I get spanked if she catches me breaking one. Spanking me doesn’t turn her on. It’s a necessary part of the game. I can think about it any way I want. I can imagine that I am submissive to her. I am positive she doesn’t believe she is in charge of everything.
Before I met Mrs. Lion, I did the spanking. I was an active top in the BDSM scene. The act of spanking a woman never got my motor running. Neither did thinking about doing it. It was a service I delivered. I admit that I enjoyed the reactions I got. It was fun to make a woman yelp and, at the same time, discover she was dripping wet with arousal. Yup, that was big fun. It was erotic as well. Most of the time, scenes didn’t end with sex. Sex was never permitted in public BDSM venues. Even if it were, I probably wouldn’t want to fuck. I often used my hand to get my partner off. That was allowed and encouraged–also big fun.
Consent is the basis of everything
Underlying all of this is that this activity is always fully consensual. Mrs. Lion will stop being my disciplining wife if I revoke my consent to accept her role. She can also revoke her consent at any time. Thee is no blackmail or other pressure to force either one of us to continue against our will. It’s this fact that most guys want to forget, me included. It’s much more fun to pretend we have no choice in these matters. When we discuss DD with our wives, and this notion is presented, they balk and shy away.
Domestic discipline is voluntary. It may not feel that way when I am told I will be punished, but it is. None of this means that it isn’t beneficial for our marriage. Even though my current rules are pretty trivial, the punishments are real. It hurts to sit for a couple of days after a spanking. When I break a rule, I cause Mrs. Lion a problem. For example, one of my rules is to set up the coffee pot for the following morning. If I forget, she has to do it at 7 AM when she is sleepy and grumpy.
If we weren’t practicing domestic discipline, she would set up the coffee pot and growl to herself. She wouldn’t mention it to me, but the annoyance would fester. It’s like squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. It isn’t important enough for an argument but accumulates in her mind until one day, she blows up way out of proportion to the issue that triggers the explosion. Would our marriage survive without DD? Of course, it would. DD is a stress reducer. It also satisfies a strong erotic need of mine.
The idea that something erotic can also serve a practical need may seem odd. It surprised me to learn that it isn’t. When we began domestic discipline, Mrs. Lion made a rule that I was sure to break often. If I got food on my shirt, I got spanked. Sure enough, I earned several spankings a week. That was exactly what she wanted. She had lots of opportunities to sharpen her spanking skills, and I got to experience what I had fantasized about for years.
it may be erotic, but it works anyway
It sounds like erotic play. Right? The strangest thing happened. After several weeks of frequent spankings for spilling, I began eating without spilling. I wasn’t trying consciously to be neat. It just happened. I can’t explain it. I wanted to be spanked. Spanking is erotic to me. Yet, being spanked for a behavioral issue actually trained me to change. We were both surprised.
There is no question that my behavior can be modified with domestic discipline. The changes aren’t permanent. A couple of weeks after a spanking, I will likely forget to set up the coffee pot. I don’t do it purposely. The chore stops being in front of mind. A spanking corrects that for a while. Even though it’s beneficial, Mrs. Lion wouldn’t do it unless I wanted it. The fact that, in her mind, this is a kind of game may explain why she has trouble punishing me for things like interrupting her or acting like a know-it-all.
Those things are upsetting to her. It’s easy to play the game when it’s obvious when I break a rule like failing to set up the coffee pot. It’s another story when Mrs. Lion can’t point to a specific physical offense. Interrupting her is subjective. She had to decide whether or not I really interrupted her or if I didn’t know she hadn’t finished a thought. She almost always gives me the benefit of the doubt. I think the problem here is that when it comes to rules that aren’t obvious, she tends to forget that she is playing a game.
Her emotions seem to get in her way. She forgets that we both agreed that she would find as many offenses as possible. My rules were designed to make it difficult for me to escape spankings. Along the way, we learned that our game could modify my behavior. She is struggling to internalize that interrupting is a valid opportunity to spank me, not a judgment about anything else. We agreed that she should find any excuse to spank me. It remains a form of training for both of us.
Can i get too many spankings?
You might worry that this could result in too many spankings. I’ve been spanked every day for three or four days. That hasn’t happened often. I survived with no problems. More importantly, I ended up feeling good about it. My point is that even if Mrs. Lion ends up punishing me several times a week, things will be fine. I’m also willing to bet that my behavior will change for the better. We agreed that frequent spankings would be right for me because I want to be spanked, and I like the idea of being held accountable for my behavior. That’s the simple reality of domestic discipline for us.
If your behavior changes in the direction of avoiding punishment, then, subconsciously, your organism is against spanking or other types of punishment. Thus, the brain instinctively tries to protect you (your body) from possible damage.
That’s a vast oversimplification. The entire point of the post is that spanking represents both an erotic experience and negative reinforcement for undesired behaviors. Organisms aren’t against anything. Painful stimuli provide feedback used to educate. Spanking is painful so it works to train me. It’s also erotic, so I am drawn to it and want it. Humans can both love and hate something at the same time.
You are right, of course. Every medal has two sides.