When I imagined how life would change if Mrs. Lion agreed to take charge, I saw myself in some sort of 24/7 BDSM scene. That’s how a lot of guys blog about an FLR. You know, lots of spankings, orders to do menial tasks, and provide tons of cunnilingus. I couldn’t see myself in a situation like that. I’m not submissive by nature. If anything, I tend to be dominant. Still, I was turned on by the idea of feeling control and being spanked when needed. I was probably imagining myself having BDSM play, not a lifestyle.
Mrs. Lion is very smart. She knew that a permanent D/S lifestyle would never work for either of us. I suspect that is true of most people. Instead of plunging headlong into trying to live the fantasies, she chose a very gradual approach. She recognized that I would never be happy with her micromanaging me. She was sure she would hate being my permanent mistress. She decided to approach domestic discipline the same way she managed male chastity.
When I asked her to lock me into a male chastity device, she agreed right away. She also unlocked me every night for a handjob. Over time, she made me wait longer and longer to ejaculate. We developed a rhythm that worked for us. Mrs. Lion figured I would tire of male chastity soon after we started. I didn’t and ended up being in a male chastity device full-time for over three years. After a break for surgery, we continued. The point is that she and I ended up integrating male orgasm control into our marriage. We can’t stop because it’s the only way we know when it comes to sex.
Domestic discipline started the same way. Mrs.Lion made a few rules for me that I would be sure to break. That way, I got lots of spankings and she got practice catching me breaking a rule and punishing me when I did. The offenses were trivial and her spankings were not very severe. Over time, she learned to give me disciplinary-level spankings without feeling remorse for hurting me. While she never enjoys spanking me, she also doesn’t mind doing it She takes some pride in being able to make me yelp and have a sore bottom for days afterward. I couldn’t ask for more than that.
My rules are still fairly trivial, but breaking one causes inconvenience or problems for her. For some time, she has been wrestling with punishing me for doing things that annoy her. This has been very difficult. It’s one thing to spank me if I forget to close the shower door or set up the coffee pot. It’s something entirely different if she spanks me for interrupting her. It may seem like an easy transition. It isn’t. Anyone can see if I forget to set up the coffee pot. It’s an easy call. But interrupting? That’s very different.
It seems fairly black-and-white, but it isn’t. Did I interrupt or misinterpret a pause? There is a subjective element. It’s difficult to enforce because Mrs. Lion is punishing me for pissing her off. I think she worries that is somehow crossing a line. It isn’t. One of my main reasons for asking her to take charge was to give her a “voice” in terms of dealing with things I do that upset her. Mrs. Lion doesn’t handle disagreements well. She avoids them at almost any cost. I figured that if she could get comfortable disciplining me, she could use her paddle to let me know when I upset her. It’s a necessary part of our evolution that has been slow in coming.
I think it is very important that we get there. I also know that I will spend a lot more days feeling pain when I sit down. That’s fine with me. I need to know that I will be punished if I piss her off just as consistently as I am for leaving the shower door open. Consider this Mrs. Lion, you have no problem bruising my bottom for trivial offenses. Maybe consider that you don’t have to be certain that I did something wrong to piss you off. I’m fine with being punished for my small rules, why wouldn’t I be good with being punished for something that might or might not be my fault. I need to learn and accept that subjective offenses aren’t always completely fair. Erring on the side of spanking me is better than letting something go.