Like most bloggers, I faithfully read several blogs on topics of interest to me. They sometimes provide fodder for what I write. Other times, I find myself shaking my head in disbelief. Very little shocks me. I’ve been part of the kinky community for almost my entire adult life. Mrs. Lion is much newer to kink. I introduced her to it. Her interest in kink is strictly limited to me, as far as I can tell. It isn’t a subject of intellectual or emotional interest to her. That’s too bad.
Over the years, I’ve encouraged her to read other blogs and articles about BDSM, chastity, and spanking. I hoped it would fire up her imagination and make her the source of new things we would do. She’s tried but doesn’t enjoy reading about it. [Mrs. Lion — I liked the 50 shades of Gray trilogy, but Lion laughed at it. I understand the story itself was ridiculous but it had some good sex/kinky scenes in it.] She loves to read Facebook and often takes it as her news source. [Mrs. Lion — I don’t. If I see an interesting story, I verify it other places.] Well, you can lead a lioness to blogs, but you can’t make her kink.
I don’t take that as a failing on her part. She’s very willing to implement the ideas I present to her. That is a big deal. It’s my failing that I wish she had my level of interest in kink. It doesn’t matter. She’s a very effective top and has no trouble causing me discomfort. She is an incredible spanker. I don’t have anything to complain about. Despite the differences, we are very happy together. She’s my best friend. Since Mrs. Lion has been working at home, we spend 24/7 together. I love it.
I think that our stress around BDSM and other naked activities began when we got our current bed. When I needed rotator cuff surgery, we decided that a bed that I could adjust would allow me to sleep. We got a Sleep Number split king bed instead of buying an expensive recliner and moving to the living room. This consists of two adjustable twin beds bolted together. There is a gap between the mattresses.
The bed did its job. I could find a comfortable position to sleep. Mrs. Lion likes to raise her back to read and watch TV. I do too. The problem is that it is two separate beds. We can’t snuggle at night, and play is made difficult by the gap and by different settings we might have. While we both like it, the bed puts distance between us.
Our spanking bench is proof that the bed causes many of our difficulties. Mrs. Lion had a lot of trouble spanking me before we got the bench. She had me across the bed, over the footboard, on my tummy on the edge, and in other places and positions. None were good for her. When we got the bench, the problems disappeared. OK, you could argue that no bed would work for spanking, and you might be right. Let’s consider handjobs.
Before getting the new bed, Mrs. Lion worked out a very good position to jerk me off. We were both comfortable, and she had no trouble edging me. Since we got the new bed, she hasn’t been able to find a position that works for both of us. Yet, when she has me on the waxing table (just a portable massage table), she has no trouble. Maybe the same is true of other play, including CBT.
Regular sex is very difficult on this bed (when we had it). It had to do with the narrower bed “squishing” more. We use the same sleep number settings as we did on the old bed. Maybe a traditional mattress is better for any sexual activity. We don’t have room for two beds. Too bad.