By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion and I have been together for over 15 years. I won’t say we know everything about each other, but we are comfortable. Then why does it feel so awkward to me right now? I mean, I don’t know what he’s looking for. He said he needed more than clothespins or the Magic Wand. It can’t be my rubbing his chest and then meandering down to his weenie. He’s said that’s not a turn-on either. We both know we were never really romantic.

Last night, I was going to move over to snuggle, and he said he was tired. Is that code for not wanting anything? Is it code for don’t expect too much? Is it code for I might fall asleep any minute? We wound up holding hands, which is perfectly acceptable to me. I don’t want to diminish the power of holding hands. I just feel lost in any other capacity. And yes, that sounds stupid. How can I not know what to do after all this time?

I know Lion will say it would be easier if I wanted sex. Would it? Why? It would still be me initiating and not sure what to do. The only difference I can see is if I told him I wanted sex. I never really did this. I didn’t really have to. It was a given that I’d get Lion revved up and then hop on top if I wanted to. Yes, Lion would give me oral sex or finger me from time to time. Anyway, I’m trying to figure out how to get things started again.

Snuggling to sex or BDSM to sex won’t necessarily work. Did the coming attractions work? There must be an answer. Maybe it’s coming attractions to snuggling to BDSM to sex. It may take some time, but we’ll figure it out.

By:
In: Life with Mrs. Lion

The one constant in life is change. Reading personal/sexual blogs illustrates this point. Some bloggers start out talking about their real-life activities; chastity devices, spanking, etc. Over time, things change. Some blogs go from journaling to sexual fiction. Others chronicle 180-degree changes: bottom to top, top to bottom, straight to bi, etc. The most important change is rarely documented: more to less.

Entropy applies to sex as it does to everything else in the universe. As we age, our appetites change, and heat cools. The problem is that our minds don’t cool at the same rate as our bodies. This is what makes old men chase young women. In their minds, the seniors are still twenty or thirty years old. The shape of a desirable woman doesn’t age in our male minds.

I’m writing from my male perspective. Women seem to be realists. They understand where they are in the spectrum of desirability. They may not like it, but they know. We men are much less likely to see ourselves realistically. Maybe that’s why Mrs. Lion, like many wives, describes me as her oldest kid.

Retaining perpetual youth, at least mentally, is a good thing in most ways. My sense of wonder hasn’t dimmed. I still love to discover and try new things. I’m always disappointed when I discover that my body doesn’t do what I want. I don’t seem to have a sense of my place on the timeline of my life. I’m sure death will surprise me one day.

Very often, good things have bad sides. For example, the genes that protect against Malaria also cause sickle cell anemia. Natural selection favors disease resistance. If the mutation also causes a deadly disease in a small percentage of the people with the protection, nature counts the mutation as a winner.

I’m not claiming that age blindness is a genetic mutation; it could be. While it has a lot of benefits to people who have it, there are also downsides. Optimism is one benefit. Another is the energy to keep learning and evolving. A big downside is the inability to adjust expectations to match the realities of getting older. Guys with this issue try to date twenty-year-olds when they are 75.

The good news for me is that I optimistically embark on new ventures. I’ve had several different careers in my life that ranged from show business to program management. Currently, I’m trying to become a novelist. Since I haven’t had an English course since high school, I may be delusional to imagine that I have the skill to write something people will want to read.

I know that I can write hot porn. That is hardly a test of writing skills. I want to make a reader see a movie in their (hate using the plural to avoid gender assignment) mind, identify with the protagonist, feel real emotion. That’s hard to do. Getting men hard and women wet with sexual description is easy.

Maybe it’s arrogance for me to believe I can succeed in something just because I decide to do it. It’s the way I’m wired. It’s the only way I can function. So far, over 20 agents disagree that I can be a successful author. Oh well. Someone will give me a chance. Right?

When it comes to sex, my disposition can make things hard on poor Mrs. Lion. Even if it takes me a couple of days to recharge between orgasms, I’m still a young stud in my head. I still want sex even when I can’t perform. It would be much easier on my lioness if I didn’t have the genetic disposition to believe I could do anything I set my mind to. We all have to balance the good and bad when considering our choices.

She picked me. I hope she realized who I am when she did. I worry that the good I offer her outweighs the trouble to keep me. It takes time and energy for lion maintenance. My lioness is good-natured. She’s learned to be an effective disciplinarian. That’s not her nature. It’s something needed to make me happy. All the one-way sex is another cost of maintaining me. I’m grateful she is so willing to do it for me.

It’s not a free ride for me. I may be young inside, but I’m not selfish. It’s painful to consider that I can’t give back what she gives me. I worry that sooner or later, she will realize how little she gets in return for all that work. I’m smart enough to understand that love is much more than weighing transactions. Even if I can’t see it, something must make being with me worthwhile. At least, I hope there is.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
The Russian invasion of Ukraine (map from New York Times)

Welcome to 1939. This is how World War 2 started. Hitler began gobbling up pieces of Europe. Now, Putin is working from the same playbook. Like 1939, some politicians admired and supported this dictator. Can you say “Donald Trump?” In 1939 it was Oswald Mosley in England. Appeasement was the initial response to Hitler.

Sadly, we had no good choices for president in 2020. Biden is a political hack who was a weak veep under Obama. He isn’t any better now. Trump is an insane autocrat who nearly killed our country during his unfortunate reign. Since he is a fan and friend of Putin, he would be rooting the Russian troops on to victory.

There is a real problem that transcends political lines. Russia is testing the West to see how far they can go before NATO sends in troops. At this point, the US has far more military strength than Russia. Given our unfortunate experiences in Afghanistan and Iraq, we have no taste for more military action. Putin knows this. He has been cultivating friendship with China. Trump makes China the enemy. Right now, China is neutral. As an economy as big as ours, if it throws support to Russia, I think world war is inevitable.

I’m not worried about nuclear armageddon. There is no military value in turning the earth into a radioactive wasteland. I am very worried about a conventional war with Russia. I’m sure that Putin is worried about one too. Like Hitler, he believes that as long as his enemies think that the strategic value of going to war is too small, he can keep nibbling away at eastern Europe. It worked for Hitler.

Apparently, Biden’s strategy is to put economic pressure on Russia. He believes that if the richest people feel economic pain, they will make Putin stop. I doubt it. He’s known that we will do this. I’m sure he plans to gobble up another chunk of territory and then announce that he is done and stop attacking. He will get the West to agree not to offer NATO membership to Ukraine. That’s what he needs.

“Republicans are expected to seize on additional domestic economic hardships to criticize Mr. Biden and Democrats. A strong faction of the Republican Party — led by President Donald J. Trump that includes the Fox News host Tucker Carlson — has been praising Russia, downplaying the importance of defending Ukraine and criticizing Mr. Biden for many policies. Some analysts say Mr. Putin sees such political division as a strategic advantage.” (New York Times, Thursday, February 24)

Of course, there is a chance that Russia won’t stop and will annex Ukraine as Putin attempts to recreate the USSR. He has nothing to lose if he decides that NATO won’t respond with force. The economy in Russia isn’t good anyway. Sanctions won’t hurt him. He doesn’t care about his people any more than he cares about the suffering in Ukraine.

Putin warned about interference saying, “Russia is a powerful nuclear state.” NATO is an alliance of more powerful nuclear states. Putin knows this. He has such a huge force ready to attack Ukraine because he can take half the country in a day or two. The West is slow to respond. By the time we take any serious steps, he will have swallowed Ukraine whole.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments
Free picture (Burning candle flame) from https://torange.biz/burning-candle-flame-18095

Stereotypically, men are supposed to want sex and not want to cuddle. Women are the ones who want to cuddle. Of course, these are stereotypes. Not all men dislike cuddling. Not all women like cuddling. Lion likes cuddling. I do too. However, we’ve always been more of a sex and done sort of couple. Lion admits that we’ve never really been romantic. Foreplay usually involves some sort of BDSM. For him, that is. I won’t say I never got foreplay, but it was not the norm. More often than not, I didn’t have sex. Lion got an orgasm a night. Even at my horniest, I didn’t want sex that often.

I really never kept track of how often I had sex. It was an easy answer for Lion since it was every night. When did it start to drop off? I don’t know. He has one timeline. I can neither confirm nor deny that timeline. I just don’t know. I can’t even say for sure if I had sex 50% of the time Lion had it. Was it 40%? I have no idea. Toward the end of my wanting sex, I’d guess it was down to less than 10%. Since I never kept score, it never really bothered me when I didn’t want sex anymore. It wasn’t something that happened overnight. It just trailed off to nothing. The problem I’m having with Lion’s issues with one-sided sex is that, to some extent, it was always one-sided.

What difference does it make it I had sex 50% of the time or 10% of the time? It’s still 50% or 90% one-sided. I didn’t have a problem with it then and I don’t have a problem with it now. Yes, we’ve grown apart. Generally, I think all couples do. It’s a very rare couple that can keep the flame burning as bright on day 5000 as it did on day one. I don’t know how long 5000 days is [Lion — 5,000 days is a little over 13 1/2 years.], but given how many marriages end in divorce, many of those couples may not even be together. How many of the ones still together can stand the sight of each other? I won’t say our flame has burned out. We’re just as close as we were all those years ago. What we need to do is get back to the snuggly close times. We can do that. I’m not saying I can get back to wanting sex, but we can definitely turn up the flame.