Mrs. Lion’s Junior Rodeo

Lately, life around here reminds me of when my kids were very young. My wife (now my ex) would often be too tired for lovemaking. On nights that she was up for it, a kid would intrude. All parents can relate. I never expected to experience this again with a golden retriever. Our nine-month-old puppy wears Mrs. Lion out during the day. She has to fend the leaping beast off her while she tries to work. By the time she gets to bed, she is tired and sore.

On Monday night Mrs. Lion was determined to do something sexual. She promised plastic clothespins on my balls. She kept her word. She masturbated me while applying and removing them. Unfortunately, she was interrupted by the puppy trying to get into the act. The mood was broken. Our devil dog ended the fun. It was mostly fun for me. Those plastic clothespins really pinch. The dog was too much, and we had to stop. Between the daytime exhaustion and the direct interference, the dog is making a difficult situation much worse. Mrs. Lion already had trouble with follow-through. Add in the puppy, and we have a real mess. It isn’t just her fault. I need to focus on her and what we are doing. That’s impossible with a fifty-pound, furry missile coming at me.

Mrs. Lion plans a Tuesday night effort. Before getting around to me, she plans to wrestle the pup into a rig designed to keep her still and then cut her long nails. What odds will you give me that my lioness will be unavailable for sex? I think she will be lucky to escape major injury. Dog roping and trimming is a dangerous event in our junior rodeo. Lion roping and riding are a lot easier.

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