One of the main disconnects between people like us who practice somewhat exotic kinks and vanilla folk is that we expect understanding, and they are astounded at our perversity. The gap is simply missing dots to connect. Take domestic discipline. Vanilla people react with horror. You let your wife beat you?
It’s missing dots. The isolated admission that my wife spanks me when I break a rule brings up images of torture chambers, evil women, meek men who allow themselves to be abused. That’s it! Abuse. We need to provide dots. Remember, dots aren’t the same as a sales message. I’m not a spanking missionary.
Anyway, let’s consider dots to connect that will lead to the belief that DD is a sane, loving practice. Dot number one: I get sexually aroused when I think about being spanked. Uh oh. More dots to explain that. Simple. I just find it hot. Since over 85 percent of American adults also find thinking about a spanking arousing, the chances are good that this dot will connect. If it doesn’t, oh well.
Dot 2: Mrs. Lion and I brought my fantasy to life with “play” spankings. We may need a dot or two to explain that I asked her to spank me, and she agreed. We also have to emphasize that I have a safeword and no serious injuries ever result. The chances are that the vanilla people will be quite curious about this. Answer their questions.
Dot 3: I wondered how it would work if Mrs. Lion spanked me if I broke a rule. A rule? OK, some sub-dots here. I asked her to try this with me. She came up with a few simple rules that I would be sure to break. She did that to have lots of opportunities to try out spanking-for-a-reason.
Dot 4: It felt very good to me when Mrs. Lion took control this way. She didn’t find it particularly enjoyable but liked how it affected me. Over time, she learned to make spankings very unpleasant for me. I accepted them because we agreed that I would be punished for breaking the rules. I still had my safeword and consented to be disciplined.
Dot 5: It took a long time to get to this point. We didn’t just wake up one morning and began domestic discipline. It took years to evolve to get here. We could have stopped at any time along the way. We continued because we got value out of our power exchange.
That’s it. Five dots to connect. We avoid suggesting that our audience thinks about joining us. We simply want them to understand how we got here and that we are both happy with the result. Speaking of which, we are both feeling better. I may find myself visiting the spanking bench very soon.
Now you know how I got there.