Yesterday I talked about having a plan for last night’s festivities. Well, I didn’t come up with one. And it turns out I didn’t need one because Lion found a behind-the-scenes show about Disney. He’s a big Disney fan (we both are) and he loves shows that explain how things are done. He could watch “How It’s Made” for hours, even if they’re showing how to make dumpsters and waffle irons. We always make fun of the odd combination of things they put together in one show. Anyway, the Disney show ended but there was another one and I’m sure there was another one and another one. We watched two and then went on to watch something else. So there was no sex. Lion didn’t seem interested.
Now, I know he’s going to say I could have told him to pause the TV. Yes, I could have. But, as he’s so fond of pointing out, sex is not for me. It’s only for him. If he’s not interested, why would I tell him to pause the TV? How did I know he wasn’t interested? I didn’t really. He has trouble initiating. He doesn’t want to ask for sex because he feels he’s putting me out. But then he’ll tell me he would have liked attention if only I’d given it to him. And we’re caught in the catch-22.
We’ve been trying to figure this out for years. From my point of view, it doesn’t make sense to “force” him to get hard just because I’m obligated to play with him every other day. I think he believes I should. He thinks I should have insisted he pause the TV so I could do whatever it is I was going to do to him. I know it’s possible to get him hard even if he doesn’t feel like it. I just don’t know if it’s worth it. Is he having any fun when I do that? Or is all his energy and concentration on maintaining the erection? I’d much rather play with him when he wants to be played with. However, I need to know when he wants attention.
In the past, he’s asked if I want to watch something on TV or if I have other plans. He feels bad about that because it feels like he’s begging or making me do it. Again, I need to know when he wants attention. I either respond to his question by suggesting a show or perhaps I don’t really have plans but we can see what happens. The way I see it, he hasn’t really asked for sex, but I know he’s thinking about it, but I still have an out if I’m not feeling like doing anything. Make sense? Win-win, no? [Lion — I got lost somewhere in the twists and turns. I have no idea what to do.]
This is the same problem my wife and i have. Not the sex part; she never wants it anyhow, and mocks my teenie-weenie. But i can certainly relate to the attention part. I have tremendous problems initiating any intimacy, yet i crave attention. I don’t know when or if she does, and she never does anything to turn me on, even though she knows about my intimacy initiating deficiency. I don’t know how to really be intimate with her, and she does nothing to encourage it, so we’re like best friends w/o any benefits. Which feels really shitty a lot of the time.
I’m sorry she doesn’t do anything to turn you on. I do things to turn Lion on, yet somehow, when he thinks too hard about it, it makes him feel shitty too. He keeps getting hung up on the idea that I’m just doing things for him and that it’s all one-sided. I think he should just shut up and enjoy it 🙂