By:
In: Sex

Doesn’t good sex require both (or more) partners to have a good time? Sooner or later, WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) cuts in. It has nothing to do with selfishness. As animals, we are programmed to seek pleasurable activities. As humans, we balance that with more complex transactions. Money is a good example of a way to introduce multiple steps between giving and eventually receiving. Sex workers trade pleasure for money. The rest of us use a more subtle currency.

I’m not claiming that everything we do for someone else is part of a crass transaction. We will do things we don’t like just because we know it will make someone else happy. This is why Mrs. Lion does sexual things for me. My problem with this arrangement is that it’s like a rubber band. Each selfless act stretches it a bit more. At some point, it will get too difficult to stretch it further. Eventually, it will probably snap.

It’s been quite a few years since Mrs. Lion stopped wanting sex for herself. She continues to get me off. There are subtle signs that this particular rubber band is getting much harder to stretch. For some time now, activities involving me are the last things Mrs. Lion will do in a day. Sex, for me, is almost always her last chore before watching TV and playing on her iPad. Even punishing me is put off as late as possible.

It isn’t that she waits until I am naked and available. I am naked almost all the time. By the time she gets home from work, I am showered and ready. On weekends, I am always available. So, my readiness isn’t the issue. In fairness, Mrs. Lion wants to unwind from work, make dinner, and have her shower. I get that. But on weekends it doesn’t change. She can be home all day and spend her time playing games on her computer. She will wait until after dinner before any activity. Some nights, I snooze after dinner for a half hour or so. On those nights, there is seldom any sex later. I’m not complaining. Beggars can’t be choosers. Mrs. Lion tries hard to give me sexual fun with a little CBT before giving me oral sex.

I’m not saying all this to complain. The point I am making is that the pattern would be very different if Mrs. Lion wanted sex too. If she let me know she was horny, I could get her off. Before she lost interest, she rarely let me know. This is a communication issue we are still working on. I was not great at initiating. It’s probably my fault she lost interest. If she did let me know and she had great orgasms, there would be a strong incentive to keep me turned on and sexually interested.

That incentive wouldn’t turn her into a sex machine ready to jump my bones straight from the office. It would motivate her for more spontaneous sexual fun. WIIFM. The hornier I am, the more likely I will want to have sex. Duh! Now, if I am horny, it just means she will feel guilty for not satisfying me.

This isn’t her problem. It’s mine. I can’t initiate sex that might result in fun for me. It probably wouldn’t because I am only allowed to come when Mrs. Lion decides it’s time. But  I would have fun satisfying her. It would be OK to ask for sex since it would result in something she wants. If I try now, I am pressuring her to expend energy on me solely for my pleasure. That’s selfish and greedy.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I believe it’s one reason I’m not as responsive as I have been in the past. Wanting sex and then feeling like a chore when I get it is difficult to overcome. I’ve stopped asking. I still change the numbers on our whiteboard, indicating how much time has gone by since my last orgasm. I wonder if that doesn’t put pressure on her too. Orgasm control is a game she plays because I want it. There is nothing at all in it for her. I’m starting to think that maybe it would be better to stop wanting her to give me orgasms. Maybe I should just do it myself when the pressure builds up too much. I don’t want that rubber band to snap.

By:
In: Rules

I finished trimming the top of the hedge this morning. My arms are a little Jell-o-y but not as bad as yesterday. After asking me how I was doing, Lion sighed and said he guessed I wouldn’t be waxing him today. Whine much? Unless I am physically unable to move my arms, I’ll wax him later.

I’m not sure how I feel about Lion’s post from this morning. I knew he got a new toy. I knew it was for masturbation. But I didn’t know he’d try it himself. Usually, I’m involved in the process of anything like that, especially since he’s not allowed to masturbate. He’ll say he’s allowed to touch himself as long as he doesn’t get near the edge and he’s right. I did tell him he was allowed to play with himself idly, and it was okay if he got hard in the process. Of course, I meant if he was sitting at his desk and his hand wandered. I didn’t mean he should purposely do it. I’ll consider that a reasonable misunderstanding. A few weeks ago, I proposed Lion be able to masturbate in front of me and with my permission. He didn’t like the idea. He thought it was a slippery slope. So why would he think it was okay to try out a masturbation toy without me? [Lion — Maybe I was wrong. If it’s easier to let me jerk off, why shouldn’t she have me do it?]

It’s not that I’m always a fan of trying out his discoveries. I did wonder about the Fleshlight, and we got one to test. Then he got another similar toy. And another. And I’m all for trying new things to make things more satisfying for him. (I draw the line at adding another person, just for the record.) Some of those things work, and some don’t. But we test them out together. I guess I’m just surprised we didn’t with this one. Maybe I need to make a rule that I have to be asked if I want to help him try out a new toy. I didn’t think we needed one, but clearly, we do. I don’t care so much about chastity devices. If he wants to wear it long-term, I do. Just to test out fit or to take a picture of it, he can do it independently. But I have the first right to refuse to test a new toy with him, especially masturbation toys.

Lion, no doubt, will be surprised by this revelation. I’m not sure why. The masturbation rule has been in effect since we started male chastity. While I did give him some leeway recently, I certainly didn’t mean he could run with it. I hope we’re on the same page now. [Lion — OK.]

By:
In: Reviews, Masturbation

There is an expanding category of sex toys for men. Male masturbators are among the fastest-growing. These devices range from imitation mouths, anuses, and vaginas to vibrators and devices intended to simulate oral sex. The oral sex devices provided up and down motion designed to simulate a mouth on the penis. The market was dominated by the Fleshlight, which is a cylinder containing a silicone sleeve designed to simulate a vagina or anus. It has no moving parts. That’s up to the man to provide.

The devices that provide realistic motion were limited to the Autoblow. This device sells for about $200. It contains a sleeve very much like the Fleshlight’s. A gripper moves up and down outside the sleeve. This applies pressure to the shaft as it moves. It is supposed to feel like oral sex. I found it pretty disappointing. It felt good but not good enough to get me off.

A Chinese sex toy company contacted me and asked if I would test the device of my choice. I was impressed by their website https://sohimi.com. It is nicely designed. The company makes a selection of sex toys, including male masturbators that compete with the Fleshlight and Autoblow. I chose the Sohimi Masturabator. It looks like a Fleshlight with switches on it. Priced at under $100, it is a bargain compared with the Autoblow.

The device has silicone “lips” that simulate labia. Inside is a silicone sleeve with large bumps protruding into the cavity. The device can provide up and down motion and rotation. Unlike the Autoblow, the entire sleeve moves. The up-down range of motion is fairly small. The rotation is, well, rotation. In addition, the device comes with earbuds and provides a soundtrack of an Asian woman in heat.

Test results

I have a rather poor track record when it comes to masturbators. I’ve reviewed almost all of them over the years. The only one that managed to get me off was the Venus 2000, which costs $900. I was only able to do that after a long trial and error. Anyway, after unpacking the Sohimi, I charged it. The device comes with a micro USB charging cord but no AC adapter. We have lots of them around the house. The packaging is beautiful, befitting a high-tech device.

The control panel flashes while charging. When fully charged, it stays on. You can’t use the device while attached to the charger. Sohimi provides a sample tube of their lube. I don’t like it. It dries out quickly and has an industrial smell. Use any good water-based lube. The instructions said to squirt lube into the sleeve. I did that. I also explored the controls. There is an on/off switch. You have to press for a few seconds to start or stop. Another button selects stimulation pattern. There are ten combinations of up-and-down, round-and-round patterns of varying speeds. Each press changes the pattern. A third button controls the audio track.

After lubing the sleeve, I manually got hard and inserted my cock. I tried each pattern. One was most exciting to me. It had a strong up/down with limited rotation. It felt good but not good enough to ejaculate. Good thing. I’m not allowed to do that on my own. I was in no danger of an unauthorized squirt. I liked how it felt, but not good enough to give a happy ending.

Cleaning should be simple but turned out to be difficult. The labia unscrews to reveal the sleeve inside. Another panel on the side of the device comes off to give more access to the sleeve. The instructions showed pulling the sleeve out for washing and drying. It was very difficult to remove. I think that was because the device is new. I don’t think it would be as hard the next time.

The device comes with an interesting accessory: a suction device to attach to a wall or table. It is a very powerful attachment and, if attached to a non-porous surface, will easily hold the device. I think this option would add a lot of extra fun. I think if I could thrust as well as letting the machine do the work, it might be enough even for me.

The sleeve itself is only about five inches long. There is about a two-inch gap from the labia to the top of the sleeve. At best, only the top four inches of penis gets stimulated. In my case, only two are rubbed. That’s not too bad since the “good part” of the penis is just under the head. The short sleeve limited the thrusting I could do. There is plenty of battery power. The device can run at least an hour on a charge. When in operation, it is a bit noisy but didn’t distract me.

summary

The Sohimi masturbator is well priced. It’s far less expensive than any other motorized masturbator. It’s easy to use. Cleaning takes some work but isn’t a dealbreaker. I had fun using it. If I didn’t have Mrs. Lion, who provides the real thing, this device would provide entertaining stimulation. Even if it can’t make me ejaculate, it certainly feels good. At the price, it’s a nice addition to any guy’s toybox.

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By:
In: Body Hair Removal

My post is late, in part, because I decided to take advantage of another nice Friday afternoon to do battle with the hedge in front of the house. I hate that thing. I don’t like yard work to begin with, but I can tolerate mowing the lawn. Anything beyond that is unreasonable. I’d rather spray weed killer than whack the weeds. And I’d rather cut this stupid hedge down once and for all than trim it. Sadly, it’s the landlord’s hedge, so I can’t rip it out. However, I can cut it so far back that I won’t have to worry about it for a long time, and if it dies – oops.

Right now, my arms feel like Jell-O. If I had to guess, I’d say the hedge is about thirty feet long and six feet tall in places. That’s a long time to lift a hedge trimmer when you’re not used to manual labor. And I didn’t even get to the top yet. I only did the sides. I’m thinking I can bring the truck along the hedge, stand in the back and be able to cut the top without trying to lift the trimmer over my head. But that’s for another day.

Speaking of another day, Lion wants to be waxed this weekend. I guess it’s only fair. I trimmed one hedge. I should trim the other. Of course, once I finish the hedge outside, I won’t touch it again till next year. Lion needs trimming every month or so. Yard work. Blech. I was going to turn the wax on as soon as I got home today, but it’s supposed to rain this weekend, so outside work needed to be done first. Poor Lion. He’ll need to wait for tomorrow.

I know there are a few long hairs on his balls. I’ve seen them. But the fur at the base of his cock isn’t tickling my nose yet. Should I wait till it does before I wax him? I’ll see if my Jell-O arms feel better before I actually commit. I can’t remember when I did it last. I suppose I could pour over my posts, but I don’t really think it matters. I wax him when he needs it. Well, sometime after he needs it, depending on how we feel and how much time we have. He swears it shouldn’t take as long as it did last time because there should be less hair. That would make sense if all the hair were concentrated in one spot. His balls and that stubborn patch at the base of his cock are fairly concentrated. But he still has hair all over his stomach and chest. Yes, there’s less of it, but it’s spread out. It’s not like I can do his chest and move on. His back tends to have less hair, but he never had much, to begin with. And his butt is mostly naked. I’m chalking that up to improved spanking and the hairs’ lack of will to be beaten. Yup. That must be it.