Our recent posts (“Pulling The Lion’s “Tail,” “Maybe I Am a Prude,” “In Praise Of Handjob,” and “An Edged Lion is a Happy Lion”) talk about various aspects of handjobs, a woman masturbating a man. This rather harmless activity turns out to be heavily nuanced and more profound than I first thought. My first reaction to the idea of a woman masturbating me is that it is a nice thing to do that makes me feel good. There’s much more going on.
First, women have very different views on the subject. Some worry that if they handle a penis, its owner will want to penetrate them. Touching a penis is foreplay. Sure, it can be. Taking that position makes handling the male sex organ a sort of commitment to intercourse. That certainly restricts the desire to touch one.
Other women use it as a sort of sexual pressure release valve. If the male is getting too” friendly” a few minutes of penis massage will reduce his ardor. This use of the handjob is particularly popular with teenage girls. It’s an easy way to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Both approaches are female methods of increasing or decreasing the possibility of more intimate activity. I think they are valid and useful. I have always been happy with a woman using this tool for sexual management.
The problem is that this approach to a penis overlooks an obviously good use of one. A penis is a toy that most men will share. If this sounds too trivial, consider how males are different from females—for example, sex in terms of ejaculation isn’t an end game. Unlike women, who often believe vaginal activity is an emotional as well as a physical experience, men approach it very differently.
Most men masturbate (jerk off) from an early age. There is a tacit understanding that boys do it frequently. It provides physical release and theoretically frees us from pressuring our dates. Jerking off isn’t an expression of love or commitment. It’s often not very important—It’s release. We are playing with our toys. It feels good.
Inside a relationship or friendship, it isn’t hard to include handjobs that aren’t green lights to intercourse. A man already understands that ejaculation isn’t necessarily an expression of romantic love. If the woman makes it clear that playing with the penis is just for fun and isn’t romantic sex, we will understand and happily share our toy.
If a man, like me, for example, likes to bottom, a handjob is an excellent activity to demonstrate female dominance. Doing this requires no equipment or training. Simply have him undress and play with your toy. Mrs. Lion has made it clear that the penis attached to me is her toy. It isn’t mine. She can play with it any time she wants. It isn’t mine, so I can’t.
Since it’s her toy, she can tease me and make me believe that I will come, but stop before I get the chance. Or, she can masturbate me with others watching. She can also let a friend play with her toy. Mrs. Lion chooses to play with her toy when we are alone, and she doesn’t like to share. It’s her choice.
The idea that a penis is a toy works in vanilla contexts too. As soon as a woman disconnects the idea that playing with a penis is an invitation to intercourse, the couple can enjoy a fun toy. Many women don’t consider masturbating a man as sex (for them). It’s an amusing activity that makes her man happy. Take off the emotional weight and have a good time. You’ll have a hard time finding a man who won’t share his toy with you.