Zapped and Spanked

Lion wearing his shock collar for Zapardy.

Our puppy is a lot of work. Puppies generally are, but this one is a lot more than most. We have to teach her not to be afraid of going into her crate. I have to clean up all her toys and only allow her one or two at a time. She has to be tethered to one of us at all times, so she learns who’s in charge. It sounds like she’s grounded and can’t go out to play until she learns not to break curfew. Of course, this is a big change for us too, but we’re spending a lot of money to have our lives turned upside down, so we better do what we’re told.

[Lion — To be fair, the reason for all this fuss isn’t that the dog is being difficult. We hired a professional dog trainer to help us. All the toy removal and tethering is part of the training boot camp she needs. We haven’t started that yet. Until next Wednesday, we will be helping her learn to accept her crate and our authority. She is doing very well. We are both impressed with her changed behavior.]

I won’t say working from home is more distracting than being in the office. I think there are different kinds of distractions, and I have to learn to ignore them like I learned to ignore distractions at work. However, none of my coworkers nudged my arm for me to pet them. The biggest problem is that I have a backlog of work, and there’s no one to help me. That would have been true no matter where my desk happens to be, but it is pretty stressful. Perhaps training the dog when I have a lot to do at work was a bad idea, but we had to do something with her.

I didn’t write a post yesterday because the dog trainer was here, and that just sucked even more time away from my day. What I would have told you is that not only did Lion get his buns whomped Tuesday night, but he also got his balls zapped. We played Zapardy. It’s been such a long time since we played, I forgot how few zaps he can get. If he doesn’t answer a question correctly, he gets a shock. The problem is that he has the option to skip answering questions he’s not sure about. It’s conceivable that he could escape the entire game without getting zapped. While it is fair, I don’t think it really follows the spirit of the game. I’ll have to fiddle with the rules to ensure he gets the shocks he needs. More correctly, the shocks I need him to get.

His spanking was a success. He was yelping, but he managed to stay still. One of his straps started to slide down and almost went down his legs. That’s what happens when you have no butt to keep it up. It’s also why his pants fall down without suspenders. As much as he hates them, he either has to have butt augmentation surgery or wear suspenders. A Kardashian, he is not.

When I played with my weenie last night, Lion didn’t seem interested. As a matter of fact, he fell asleep. I can take a hint. I stayed snuggled close, so I didn’t wake him, but I gave up trying to arouse him. We’ll try again tonight, hopefully with better results. I know he thinks he’s horny, and he may very well be, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to an erection. It’s a good thing I like to keep trying.

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