Yesterday morning I was truly out of it. I was feeling sleepy and not particularly alert. After Mrs. Lion went to work, I watched a couple of game shows and then slept for an hour. I didn’t feel much better when I woke up. The night before, I fell asleep while we were watching TV. That didn’t do much to improve our sex life.
It’s not Mrs. Lion’s fault that we aren’t connecting very well. I suppose it’s inevitable that as the years go by and our interest in sex varies more and more, we are good. I have a problem providing satisfactory relief for both of us. I’ve been thinking about this, and perhaps we need the same approach that we took toward spanking and domestic discipline. We recognized that we had no template to follow, and we had to create the habits that supported our decision to add discipline to our marriage.
It’s not optimum to plan our sexual activities in a way that could make Mrs. Lion’s stress level go higher. The invisible to-do list in her head is what I think causes the anxiety. There is a very long list of work that needs to be done here. She’s always had a problem managing tasks. Nevertheless, we have to add sex to the list and put it fairly high in priority.
I haven’t fleshed out exactly what I’m suggesting. The general idea is to schedule sexual activity the same way we set up our punishment days before Mrs. Lion got into the discipline habit. We don’t need the punishment days now because she clearly remembers each opportunity to paddle my bottom. Maybe we need sexy time days. Or schedule sexy time every day at a certain hour.
We could reserve specific days for activities Mrs. Lion might want to execute regularly. For example, I’m out of practice with anal activities. Maybe she needs to schedule “insertion nights” every other day. Perhaps we need to schedule “tease and deny” times and days. I think the biggest problem is that it’s way too easy to decide not to do something. A good example was Tuesday night. We went out and ran some errands that included spending time walking around Costco. I was pretty tired when we got home.
I’m not saying Mrs. Lion should wake me up and begin masturbating me. That probably wouldn’t work. I am saying that we probably should agree on handling the sex if we go out and do things like shopping. In other words, I think we should be actively planning and agreeing on what we will be doing.
That doesn’t mean we schedule giving me orgasms. Mrs. Lion can decide when I get them without planning or discussion. Unless we, or should I say she, plans and communicate what we will do, we will do nothing. This is particularly true about activities I’m not happy about. Things like Icy Hot on my balls or Spankardy, which is fun but uncomfortable, need to be scheduled. There will be times when we have to postpone an activity. I’m suggesting we handle it the same way we handle spanking. If I’m scheduled for an Icy Hot session on Tuesday, and we go shopping, and I end up falling asleep, the Icy Hot session gets rescheduled for the next day.
Mrs. Lion is very good at this sort of thing. She’s learned to remember any scheduled spanking that gets postponed. It’s been a very long time since she put one-off, so long she decided to skip it. Why can’t we do the same sort of thing with sex and play? If Mrs. Lion decides I’m going to get something, I get it even if it must be postponed.
These are just thoughts. I figure we can build on what we do successfully. If we agree that anything sexual or BDSM, once planned, has to happen, then I think we will have the same sort of success we have with spanking. This idea also takes some of the pressure off Mrs. Lion. For example, if she sends me an email that tonight I get Icy Hot on my balls and fall asleep, we both know this activity will happen soon. That means she doesn’t have to worry about doing something she promised at the exact time she said she would do it. It works the spanking, it should work for BDSM and sex.