I made the possibly unpopular decision to give Lion an oral orgasm the other night. I know he loves blow jobs. I know I said I’d ride him. I just thought he’d been waiting a pretty long time and showed no signs of being able to maintain the hardness needed for Lion riding. Did I give up on him? In a way, I guess I did. However, I have not given up on Lion riding.

After a certain point, Lion isn’t as excited as he was at the beginning of a wait. Once his horny batteries have recharged, he needs a little help to rev the engine up, but then he’s ready to roll. He hasn’t been super hard lately, but that’s probably my fault. I don’t do enough to get him there. He needs a certain amount of pomp and circumstance. My initial goal was to tie him to the bed and ride him. I just made him wait too long for it. I should have given him an orgasm in the last days of September to allow him to recharge for his birthday.

Reverse cowgirl position works best for us.

I don’t really want to promise anything because we’re still having residual issues from the flooding to deal with, but I’m hopeful that he’ll be ridden sometime this weekend. There’s no rush, of course. Unless you’re Lion, and then there’s certainly a rush. He wants to be ridden. Now. Right now. Right this very second. There’s also the matter of a dog kennel to put together and a dog bath and pawdicure. And let’s not forget the furry Lion who will need to be waxed.

Speaking of waxing, if I play with him while he’s all oiled up, it might be enough of a primer for a hard enough erection for Lion riding. I know he gets very excited when he’s slathered in oil, and I play with him. (He may be hard just reading this.) If I add a soapy shower for two to get rid of the oil, he should be ready.

If all goes to plan, Lion is in for a very nice weekend. It should certainly be better than last weekend.

Fate got in the way of my promised birthday ride. It’s been 1,339 days since the last time I had vaginal sex. That’s over 3 1/2 years! On Wednesday night Mrs. Lion gave me an oral orgasm after a 26-day wait. I’m not complaining. It felt very good. She made an effort to get me off with a handjob. She had no problem getting me hard, but I just couldn’t get very aroused. I don’t know what’s wrong. Her technique seems fine. Julie of strictjuliespanks suggested having me do it under her supervision until I am ready to come and then let her take over.

“I know that David’s fingers or vibe use on me is never as good as my own self-pleasuring (though his tongue is something I cannot match or replicate!), and he has told me that while he loves my hand, he can guide his own hand to pleasure himself in ways I cannot (that immediate feedback from pleasure centers to hand motion that another person cannot achieve). Not sure if Mrs. Lion does it, but “making you” rub yourself while she watches and encourages (and then takes over for a while and hands it back for a while) might be good. (I’ve also learned, by watching my husband, how he seems to like it at various stages, and that improves my skill). You can always make a rule that if you cum by your own hand rather than her hand or mouth, that’s a spanking also, not for punishment, just as a fact of life.”

I don’t know if I can do any better than Mrs. Lion. It’s been almost nine years since I’ve jerked off. I agree that I would receive direct feedback. I’m not sure it would do any good. The argument against letting me masturbate anywhere near orgasm is that I will relearn to get myself off. I know that David is allowed to jerk off, so Julie isn’t promoting a “bad” habit. I’m not allowed to do that. Wouldn’t letting me masturbate under my lioness’ watchful eye confuse my prohibition?

I’m not saying that if she has me jerk off for her, I will start solo masturbation again. Right now, I believe that I’ve lost the ability to get myself off. That’s a big reason I don’t even think about doing it. For almost the entire last decade, my only source of sexual release has been my lioness. That’s quite a record. If she wants me to do it, I will. Julie suggests that if I make myself come, even if told to by Mrs. Lion, I still get spanked for it. I suppose that reinforces the idea that jerking off ends in a painful spanking. That’s an incentive to encourage Mrs. Lion to stay in control of my orgasms. In terms of eating the product, she actually likes it. I’m glad she doesn’t want to share.

Mrs. Lion has decided to take my suggestion and spank me if I don’t perform sexually as she wishes. The idea isn’t to train me to ejaculate on command. That’s more BDSM stuff. She will spank me if she can’t bring me to the edge of orgasm or make me ejaculate when she wants. That doesn’t mean I’m working against a timer or anything like that. It is much simpler. If she runs out of steam and I don’t achieve what she wants, I get spanked. Julie from strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com wrote a great comment about this process:

“I think she should paddle you when you fail to ejaculate, and she would prefer you do. Likewise, if you ejaculate during edging and she did not intend you to. It’s not about penalizing you or punishing you in either case, it’s just a fact of life.”

This is a profound change in the way we look at spanking. Originally, it was a part of play. I get turned on by the idea of being spanked. Mrs. Lion would spank me as part of a scene when we adopted an FLR where Mrs. Lion made and enforced rules. Spanking evolved into a true punishment. It’s been very effective in helping me learn what Mrs. Lion wishes. Julie is suggesting that spanking is also a routine way of reminding me of my role.

If I can’t reach the edge, for example, I’m not naughty. It’s simply that I’m supposed to do it. Failing results in a spanking. It’s that simple. If I can’t get to the edge, I’m spanked. If I ejaculate when I shouldn’t, I get spanked. It isn’t that I was naughty. It’s just what happens. Julie has been very successful training her husband David with this technique. I suppose it seems harsh to some, but for Julie and us, it isn’t unreasonable. [Mrs. Lion — I’m not convinced it isn’t unreasonable. I’m just agreeing to try it.]

Julie also uses spanking as a way of reminding David who is in charge:

“For example, sometimes I organize (enthusiastically) for other women to perform sexual acts on my husband. Afterward, I always give him the most severe spankings to “remind him to whom he belongs”. It’s not punitive. I set it up. I encouraged it. His subsequent spanking is just a fact of life.”

In this example, David didn’t fail to meet an expectation. It’s just a way to help him focus on Julie as the woman who holds the power. I’m very impressed with this idea. I know Mrs. Lion isn’t planning to expose me to other women, but there are times when I might forget my place. A spanking would certainly remind me of who is in charge. This is a much more logical concept than our “just because” spankings. Instead, it’s a fact of life, a reminder for me. It doesn’t require a warning or explanation. It’s just like edging, a fact of life.

My interpretation of this concept is that instead of using words to remind me, Mrs. Lion uses the paddle. It makes a lot of sense. I can’t argue with a spanking. I’m smart enough to know that complaining will just make it worse. I have to shut up and accept the ten-minute fact of life. I realize that this concept is very different. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure about it but agrees it’s worth trying.

The hardest part is realizing it isn’t punitive. I’m not being punished. It’s no different than our teasing sessions. I get edged almost every day with no hope of release. It’s a fact of life. We’ve been doing this for over eight years. A new fact of life is a spanking if I can’t reach the edge or ejaculate when Mrs. Lion didn’t intend it. Another fact of life is that I get spanked if Mrs. Lion thinks I need reminding of who is in charge. It isn’t punishment. It’s just a fact of life.

Lion has been waiting for an orgasm for 26 days as of today. His longest wait is 28 days. Will he surpass that? I guess we’ll find out. Last night I was tired and achy. Tylenol probably would have knocked some of the achiness down, but I didn’t take any because I was too tired anyway.

I spent most of the day standing around while the cleanup crew removed our things from the basement. I’d forgotten how much being on my feet all day hurts. This morning I waited close to an hour for the trash removal team to show up for the totaled items from the flood. I figured it would only take twenty minutes for them to move stuff out, but so far, it seems like twenty minutes just to get ready to move it out.

I hate waiting too. Of course, I’m not comparing my annoying wait for flood mitigation to Lion’s wait for an orgasm. Mine is much worse. ?

In this morning’s post (“Another Post I’m Sure To Regret Writing”), Lion suggested he should be spanked if he could not have an orgasm when I wanted him to have one. [Lion — I also suggested spanking if I can’t reach the edge. All sexual performance issues get spankings.] Neither of us knows if that will work. I think he’s grasping at straws, trying to get something to happen. On the one hand, it may get him turned on enough to help.
On the other hand, the thought of yet another spanking might turn him off. I don’t like the idea, but I suppose the only way to know is to try it. Besides, it doesn’t matter if I like it. What matters is the effect on Lion.

I rarely turn down an opportunity for an experiment. Let’s see how this one goes. I can’t say how long we’ll do it. It could work immediately. It could take a while. Or it could fail horribly right away. That’s the thing with experiments. You have a hypothesis, perform your tests and find out if you were right or wrong. Ain’t science grand?