Fair warning: I can feel myself getting overwhelmed again. Lion is probably thinking, “well, duh!” Maybe it’s been building up for a while, and I’m just realizing it this morning. We’re still dealing with dog stink in Lion’s office. I was annoyed last night by everything I had to do, both about the dog stink and not. I felt, wrongly, that I shouldn’t have to figure out dinner if I had all this other stuff to do. Lion had no idea I was thinking that. Dinner was just the last thing on my mind. I had a laundry list of things ahead of dinner. Ironically, laundry was on the list. Plus, my head was stuffy all day, and I was getting achier by the minute.
I did manage to do the immediate things on the list, including dinner. I did not, however, manage to do Lion in any capacity. He didn’t get spanked. He didn’t get tied up. He didn’t get teased. He did get snuggled a tiny bit.
This morning, his office is still stinky, and we’re at our wit’s end. The adage “you get what you pay for” is not true with this dog. We paid a lot, and she’s the least well-behaved dog I’ve ever seen. She’s hyper. She needs to be right next to me like we’re joined at the hip no matter what I’m doing. She has accidents in the house at random times even though the damn door is open, and I know she goes in and out. She went out this morning, returned with a leaf, and then peed on the carpet. What the hell!
Lion bought a black light that will show pee stains. I’m a little afraid to use it. Will it light up like the crime scenes on TV when they use Luminol? I didn’t unpack it because I was busy doing all the other things on my list. Since I wasn’t going to unpack the carpet cleaner we got at least until tonight, I figured the light could wait. Lion was looking for it this morning. He sent me an email that said, “Can you please tell me where the black light is that came yesterday?” Innocuous enough, right? I read a tone I don’t think Lion intended. I read it as “Can you please tell me where the black light is that came yesterday? I can’t find a damn thing in this house because it’s such a mess everywhere.” Of course, I heard it in his voice with his lips pursed together like he was mad and trying not to yell. And that’s when I felt like I was not doing enough at home or at work, and what a slacker I am and all sorts of other unproductive thoughts. And then I realized I was getting overwhelmed again.
Sane me knows I’m not a slacker. Well, I am but not in this case. I think it’s just the dog and what a psycho she is. I know she’s a puppy and (I hope) she’ll grow out of most of her behaviors. If she would calm down a few notches, that would be great. I’m thinking of dosing her with Benadryl so she’ll be sleepy. With my luck, it will have the opposite effect.
Lion forgot the coffee pot again, so in addition to the random “just because” I-know-he-did-other-things-to-deserve-a-spanking, he’ll have five minutes added on for that indiscretion. Maybe that spanking will also help center me and make me feel less overwhelmed. I have no idea. Maybe focusing on his butt will make me realize what’s important and the dog annoying the hell out of me isn’t the biggest issue. I know Lion has long hoped I’d use spanking as a means to get out my frustrations. I don’t think that’s what will help. I think it’s a matter of focusing on a particular thing that will help. I have to walk the thin line between hurting him enough and hurting him too much. Concentrating on that might make the overwhelmed feeling go away.