It’s Too Late

We may have crossed a line. Mrs. Lion spanked me on Sunday night. She didn’t say why she was doing it. I assume it was for annoying her, but I’m not sure. I didn’t want to be spanked. I know, who would? I was seriously unhappy about it. Mrs. Lion stopped after five minutes. She declared that I would be feeling it when I sat down. For the record, she’s right. It was a seriously unpleasant experience.

After she finished, I said that I didn’t know if I wanted to be spanked anymore. She replied that if she didn’t spank me, what would she do if I broke a rule. I didn’t answer. I wondered if she was serious. It was the last thing I expected her to say. If she was, then we both crossed a line. I learned that I genuinely don’t want to be spanked. I’m not saying that I won’t find thinking about being spanked a turn-on. I hate being spanked.

If Mrs. Lion meant what she said, she has decided that punishing me is a real part of our marriage, not just an activity I asked her to do for me. I always assumed that if I got tired of domestic discipline, she would stop. Based on Sunday night, she won’t.

At the time we began domestic discipline, I agreed that my consent wasn’t revokable. The reason for this is that if I was serious about needing discipline, I had to recognize that a  time would come when Mrs. Lion would perfect punishment, and I would almost certainly want out.

This isn’t like male chastity, which is a sex game that is male-initiated. Ending the game isn’t a life-changing decision. Ending domestic discipline is. I get it. I surrendered control. Mrs. Lion is in charge and can punish me as she sees fit. The fact that she punishes me in a way that makes me seriously unhappy isn’t a reason for her to stop. It’s a reason for me to understand that DD isn’t a game. If I displease her or fail to obey her, I’m going to be unhappy. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work?

I realize that most of the people who write about DD aren’t completely serious about it. The sexual component drives it. That’s how it has been for us. The “just because” spankings are intended to recharge my sexual batteries as well as to remind me what happens if I misbehave. I’m not saying that Mrs. Lion should stop administering them. I hope they will be much less frequent.

If Mrs. Lion is serious, the chances are good that I will be punished frequently until I learn not to interrupt her. I have to be much more careful about her feelings when we talk. I support this. If she is working to catch me, she will also become more aware of what bothers her. Expressing her feelings is very healthy. Whether I like it or not, punishing me for upsetting her is good for both of us.

I guess we’ve finally gotten to the point where domestic discipline is truly effective. It’s taken a long time, but we are there. I have to admit that I’m not very happy about it.