I am scheduled to be spanked tonight. It’s another of Mrs. Lion’s “Just Because” spankings. It’s intended to recharge our disciplinary relationship. We can easily succumb to inertia and lapse back to our pre-domestic-discipline selves. That would be unfortunate. Mrs. Lion is just getting to the point when she will punish me for meaningful offenses.
Domestic discipline in our marriage is not intended to cure me of destructive behavior like excessive drinking. Its purpose is to give Mrs. Lion a strong voice when she doesn’t like my behavior. I believe that one of the most significant causes of failed relationships is unresolved small issues. Mrs. Lion is strongly inclined to overlook things I do that upset her. She hates it when I interrupt her. Her natural inclination is to avoid reacting. The negative feelings fester until, at some point, she will ignore me because of her anger.
This isn’t good for either of us. The idea behind our domestic discipline is to allow her to express her displeasure with her paddles. For years now, she spanks me if I forget a chore. Simply failing to set up the coffee pot will earn me a bottom-blistering spanking. Is the punishment too severe for the offense? Perhaps. I don’t think it is. It’s a way to “train” Mrs. Lion that any offense gets the same punishment. I don’t expect a milder spanking for the coffeepot. Similarly, even if interrupting her can be rationalized as something it was partly OK for me to do, the punishment is the same spanking.
This is a critical component in our disciplinary system. It’s entirely too easy for my easygoing lioness to find reasons not to punish me. However, if she develops the habit of a binary response to any offense, no matter how small, she will be comfortable punishing me any time I’m out of line. The problem isn’t punishing me too much. It’s finding excuses to avoid punishing me at all.
This is where the “just because” spankings come in. They are full-scale, butt-blistering spankings that she administers on a schedule she sets up. I don’t get a vote on how often I get them. Currently, Mrs. Lion schedules them every Monday and Thursday night. That’s a lot in my view, but no one asked me. Here’s the secret sauce. If Mrs. Lion knows she will be spanking me anyway, it’s much easier to tell me that I annoyed her, and that particular “just because” spanking will be dedicated to teaching me not to do whatever it was that pissed her off.
Since we both know she isn’t quite ready to punish me for pissing her off, she is probably OK with dedicating a scheduled spanking to my bad behavior. The next step is to treat my offense as an additional infraction to be added to the ten-minute “just because” spanking. In our house, additional offenses earn me another five minutes of spanking for each one. So, the next logical step is instead of just dedicating the “Just Because” spanking to my offense, she can add five minutes specifically to punish me for annoying her.
The goal is for Mrs. Lion to become just as comfortable punishing me for annoying her as she is when I forget to set up the coffeepot.