If You Only Knew

We are uncoordinated. We do tend to trip over non-existent things, but I mean we can’t seem to be ready for sex at the same time. My back was sore for days. Just when I was ready, Lion had a problem with my weenie. There was a sore spot. I couldn’t see anything, except for lots of hair which will have to be addressed. He put some antibiotic cream on it and it felt better instantly. He thinks it may have been dry. This morning he put moisturizer on it.

His other theory was that it was atrophying due to disuse. Poor thing. I don’t want it to shrivel up and fall off. Luckily, I think I’m ready to resume normal weenie play if he is. I know Lion doesn’t get enough attention as it is. Between my back and weenie hurting, he’s been ignored even more. I don’t know how he’ll recover. It will probably take a lot of sucking to bring my weenie back to life. Poor, poor Lion.

Last night, Lion told me that it no longer seems to work when I play with my weenie while we’re snuggling. He doesn’t get hard. That may be true to some extent. Other times it’s fine. I told him my weenie was needy and greedy. We heard that line on The Big Bang Theory rerun over the weekend. My weenie wants what he wants when he wants it or he’s not playing. Silly weenie. He might get more than he bargained for. I’m pretty sure my weenie was just thinking about his neighbors being tied up or having clothespins placed all over them. But there’s also IcyHot and I think Lion is due for a “just because” spanking.

Assuming my back is still functioning when I get home, Lion will get that “just because” spanking. I’m sure I’ve missed him interrupting or annoying me in some way. I wish I had an example for him. I think it works better when he knows what he’s done to deserve his whomping. On the other hand, I can always paraphrase John McEnroe. He was notorious for fighting with the referee. One time the ref told him he’d be fined if he yelled at him again. McEnroe lost a point and went to yell at the ref, remembered the threat and said, “If you only knew what I was thinking!” I can tell Lion, “If you only knew how many times I bit my tongue.” Of course, I don’t know how many times myself, but it’s a nice catch all phrase for a “just because” spanking.

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