Apparently, I need to build up my stamina. Either that or I have to figure out a way (bondage, clothespins, etc.) to get Lion’s motor running before I start sucking him. It was warm in the house. I opened the window, but I should have turned the fan on. I overheated before I could get him to the edge. The good news is that he’s still frustrated. The bad news is that I wanted to get him to the edge.

I could have sworn I tasted precum. That usually signals he’s close. Not so. I guess he hadn’t even gotten in the same neighborhood as close. He was across town but on his way. I wish I could have kept going. Tonight, I’ll make sure the fan is on.

I don’t remember telling him he was a good boy for having an erection. I just came up with that idea on Monday. By Tuesday, I forgot. How pathetic is that? I have a mind like a sieve. I’m constantly surprised when I actually remember something. I’ve even forgotten to buy things that are on the shopping list. I’ll have to make more of an effort to praise him. If only it didn’t make me feel like I’m talking to a little kid.

Every time it takes a while to get Lion to the edge, I wonder if I should give him an orgasm once he makes it that far. You could look at it as a reward for both of us. He gets an orgasm, and I get the cream filling. However, if he hasn’t been tortured along the way, how will he ever be frustrated? I assume part of the fun for him is being made to wait, which includes being edged to make the misery worse. I don’t want to cheat him out of his horniness. On the other hand, if it’s been a while with or without teasing, shouldn’t I clean out the pipes, so to speak? Hit the reset button.

I struggle with this whenever his wait drags on, and one of us is the cause of the delay. Maybe his tummy hurts a few days. Maybe mine does. Maybe I’m too achy. Maybe he’s not interested. Then we wind up with a ten-day wait, and he hasn’t really built up a head of steam. I know, many guys wait far longer than Lion does. A ten-day wait is nothing for them. They’d probably roll their eyes at Lion, saying how frustrated he is after his now-14-day wait. We’ve never had long waits. Not intentional, at least. Lion had a few surgeries that have pushed the actual wait time out a lot. But I don’t really count those times. There was no way Lion was able to get to the edge. He was concentrating on not being in pain.

We’ve had discussions about when his wait actually begins. He says it starts the day after his orgasm. I think it’s the day he starts to feel horny. When we refer to his wait, it’s the number of days since his orgasm. But there are some times he “complains” that he’s been waiting so long, and it’s been ten days, four of which he wasn’t even horny. We haven’t come up with a more reliable system, so we stick with the counter.

Maybe it’s good that I can’t get him to the edge. Every day I leave him frustrated is a win. Maybe it will encourage him to get to the edge faster.

I am sure you won’t be surprised to learn that I’ve been thinking about spanking; no, not the standard semi-erotic thoughts I usually have. I’ve been thinking about how corporal punishment fits into a marriage. Since almost every guy has spanking fantasies, there is a sexual incentive to allow being spanked. But, I think most men fear the loss of power than allowing themselves to be punished will cause.

That’s where it gets interesting. It seems that most people think that domestic discipline turns men into submissive wimps. It seems that the assumption is a woman who has the right to spank her husband will turn into a tyrant who will make him a slave. The reality is completely different. I think our experience is fairly typical.

Mrs. Lion wasn’t waiting for the chance to subjugate me. She likes me as her partner, not her kid or slave. It took a long time for her actually to punish me. She doesn’t arbitrarily punish me. She always lets me know what she expects. She also seeks my agreement when she decides to enforce something new. I don’t need to agree. She is fair, almost too fair. The point is that I have not turned into a submissive. I make a lot of decisions for our marriage. Mrs. Lion looks to me for leadership.

That doesn’t stop her from punishing me when I break a rule. It all fits together. I want her to expand her rules to cover my behavior that upsets her. Actually, she has created those rules. She has trouble enforcing them. If I don’t remember to set up the coffee pot, she doesn’t think twice before bruising my bottom. But if I piss her off by interrupting her or acting like a know-it-all, she doesn’t even growl. She withdraws. I’m hoping she will be just as dispassionate about spanking me for interrupting as she is about my forgetting to set up the coffee pot.

Contrary to the fantasies, we communicate about her punishment style. She asks for my feedback after a spanking. We both agree that the punishment is most effective when I hate the spanking and it hurts to sit for a few days afterward. It may seem stupid for me to help her hurt me more and encourage her to find more reasons to punish me. It isn’t. We are both trying to improve our relationship.

After several years of DD, we’ve made great progress. Success means that I suffer a lot more when I’m punished. It also means that I’m held to a higher behavioral standard. Is that a submissive thing? Is it bad or unhealthy? I don’t think so! It’s working very well. I believe that a man has to be very comfortable with himself and his role before allowing himself to accept spousal discipline. I am a happy camper.

Lion was definitely horny. He was trying to get hard, and when I suggested I try sucking him, he agreed. Did I think he wouldn’t? He has in the past, but I figured he wouldn’t last night. It took a little bit of doing, but I managed to get him pretty hard. I wondered if he was getting close to the edge, so I stopped. He was panting but said he wasn’t really close. I went back to work.

It may have been twelve days since his last orgasm, but I wasn’t tempted to give him one. My goal was to make him horny. Sure, I could have actually gotten him to the edge. I would have if he made it there by the time I was happy with my progress. I wasn’t against edging him. I just figured he was horny enough at that point.

Lion disagreed. I asked if he’d been expecting an orgasm. He’d hoped. Awwww, I’m sorry. Not really. The purpose of our exercise was to make him horny. A frustrated Lion is a happy Lion. Well, maybe not happy. He’s not exactly unhappy. He got some attention. It was fun while it lasted. I’m sure it will be fun while it lasts tonight too. He might even get to the edge. And he’ll end the night frustrated again. Poor Lion.

I think it’s good for him to be frustrated. It builds character. And isn’t this what he asked me to do all those years ago? I’m just following his wishes. Please don’t blame me for your frustration, Lion. It’s all your doing. Of course, it’s all his doing when he eventually gets an orgasm. No, he doesn’t dictate when or how, but he said I should make him wait until I want him to have an orgasm. Tease and deny and then give him an orgasm. The frustration was implied.

I’m so nice to my Lion while I’m mean.

Maybe the drought is over. There was life between my legs this morning. Perhaps it will work when Mrs. Lion wants to play with my weenie later. That would be very nice. Today (Monday) is day 12 since my last orgasm. That’s not terribly long, even though it feels like ages to me. I guess my libido was on vacation.

Since I’m not allowed to jerk off, I didn’t explore how seriously horny I was. It might have been a transient boner that happened to be passing through. I hate when that happens. I’ve also noticed that I write more sex scenes when I’m horny. I turn myself on when I write them. This isn’t a good thing. It unbalances my process. A writer can’t be involved with what he is writing. He has to maintain distance. Writing fiction isn’t the same as reading it. When I read a good book, the story becomes a movie unfolding in my mind. When I write, I have to control the flow to make the mental movie work for my readers. I write better fiction when I’m not too horny.

Unlike other non-sexual activities, writing is a direct connection between my mind and what I am doing. I have no idea if other writers feel this way. Do they arouse themselves when they are writing sex scenes? I know that I generally discard libido-driven writing. It almost always goes too far. I’m not writing porn; at least I hope I’m not.

Sometimes when I write a post, I get aroused. Mostly, it’s because I believe that Mrs. Lion might turn my words into action. She is pretty reliable about doing that when I write about spanking. When I write about sexual activities, she usually doesn’t take the hint nearly as often.

She has written about two sexual activities we haven’t done in years. She recently said that she might want vaginal intercourse. The last time we did that was April 22, 2018. The other was having me jerk off. The last time I did that was with her watching in December 2013. Since I am doing stats, the last handjob to orgasm was December 24, 2020. Before that, it was June 20, 2020. All other orgasms have been oral. No, I’m not complaining! I love the way Mrs. Lion sucks me off. (See? I’m horny and writing about getting off!)

The “forbidden” sex has come about for understandable reasons. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like the idea of me jerking off. I am not sure why. Was she this way with her ex? Is supervised masturbation as unwelcome to her as me doing it alone? It makes sense we don’t have vaginal sex. It doesn’t do anything for Mrs. Lion. Oddly, I know I can give her an orgasm with my hand or mouth. Apparently, while she has one, it isn’t pleasant for her. I don’t understand that at all. If my libido goes away, I can’t ejaculate. But Mrs. Lion can have an orgasm and not want sex.

I’m not sure what it would be like to jerk off again. Maybe I can’t do it myself anymore. Perhaps I can’t come inside Mrs. Lion. It’s been three years. Maybe if I got her really going with foreplay and she rides me in cowgirl (she rides reverse cowgirl when she wants me to ejaculate inside her), she will have an orgasm during the ride. I wonder if that might turn out to be fun for her. She used to like lion riding. Even if I don’t come during her ride (I didn’t in the past), she or I could jerk me off—just a thought.