I am sure you won’t be surprised to learn that I’ve been thinking about spanking; no, not the standard semi-erotic thoughts I usually have. I’ve been thinking about how corporal punishment fits into a marriage. Since almost every guy has spanking fantasies, there is a sexual incentive to allow being spanked. But, I think most men fear the loss of power than allowing themselves to be punished will cause.

That’s where it gets interesting. It seems that most people think that domestic discipline turns men into submissive wimps. It seems that the assumption is a woman who has the right to spank her husband will turn into a tyrant who will make him a slave. The reality is completely different. I think our experience is fairly typical.

Mrs. Lion wasn’t waiting for the chance to subjugate me. She likes me as her partner, not her kid or slave. It took a long time for her actually to punish me. She doesn’t arbitrarily punish me. She always lets me know what she expects. She also seeks my agreement when she decides to enforce something new. I don’t need to agree. She is fair, almost too fair. The point is that I have not turned into a submissive. I make a lot of decisions for our marriage. Mrs. Lion looks to me for leadership.

That doesn’t stop her from punishing me when I break a rule. It all fits together. I want her to expand her rules to cover my behavior that upsets her. Actually, she has created those rules. She has trouble enforcing them. If I don’t remember to set up the coffee pot, she doesn’t think twice before bruising my bottom. But if I piss her off by interrupting her or acting like a know-it-all, she doesn’t even growl. She withdraws. I’m hoping she will be just as dispassionate about spanking me for interrupting as she is about my forgetting to set up the coffee pot.

Contrary to the fantasies, we communicate about her punishment style. She asks for my feedback after a spanking. We both agree that the punishment is most effective when I hate the spanking and it hurts to sit for a few days afterward. It may seem stupid for me to help her hurt me more and encourage her to find more reasons to punish me. It isn’t. We are both trying to improve our relationship.

After several years of DD, we’ve made great progress. Success means that I suffer a lot more when I’m punished. It also means that I’m held to a higher behavioral standard. Is that a submissive thing? Is it bad or unhealthy? I don’t think so! It’s working very well. I believe that a man has to be very comfortable with himself and his role before allowing himself to accept spousal discipline. I am a happy camper.

Listen to this post.

1 Comment

  1. This is an interesting topic. I have thought a lot about this over the last couple years; not even as narrowly as punishment. I find that in general I do not like the stereotypical ‘submissive’. In my view an openly submissive, eagerly submissive male is almost not a male but some hybridized entity.

    Losing out in a struggle on the other hand is different as far as I see it. Maybe there is a difference between conquest/defeat and submission. Submission implies that the fight is gone. After a defeat or conquest there can still be a strong rebellious or attritive presence in the non dominant one. It probably goes along with my attitude toward ‘Dom’ women. I don’t find the stereotypical ‘Dom’ (leather, bossy, usually buxom and/or like a warden) to be sexy much at all. More sexy to me is simply a strong willed woman with the patience to win in traditional ways. I think that a strong woman, like a strong man, has to say or enforce very little; and I don’t think it is ‘submissive’ to periodically cave to a strong competitor but it is very exciting.

Comments are closed.