Overthinking the “Why?”

This morning, out of the blue, something popped into my head that I haven’t thought about in many years. A long time ago, Lion and I went to a Black Rose event near D.C. One of the workshops we went to was on water sports. The presenter peed all over her assistant. I have no idea why I thought about it. I didn’t get it then and I don’t get it now. I will say that we tried it once.

I did not pee on Lion. I “made” him drink my pee though. Yup. It still sounds disgusting to me. On the other hand, I’ve heard that if you’re stranded somewhere with no water, you can drink your own urine. But only for about a day. Then it becomes too concentrated with waste. Again, why did I think about this? I have no intention of making Lion drink my pee again. [Lion — Good!]

Maybe, in the back of my mind, if you’re looking for a Freudian reason, I was thinking about being in power. You’d have to have a certain amount of power over someone to pee on them. I guess that’s the “why” of it all. Not why I thought about it. Why someone would allow themselves to be peed on or be made to drink pee. Ultimately, that’s the “why” of most things we do. Nope. I still don’t get it. I tend to balk at people who try to assert power over me. Every day I go to work and I prepare to give in to the latest round of B.S. and less than an hour later I’m fighting it.

I don’t necessarily think I’m sticking up for myself. I’m the person who hears everyone saying things around the office and is willing to ask the questions other people won’t. “I’ve heard X” or “What happens if Y?” I’m the trouble maker who says what no one else will say. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any real power that I don’t understand relinquishing it. I certainly wouldn’t allow someone to pee on me.

In the end, it all comes down to me overthinking things. Why ask why?