Our experiment at an earlier time started as a success. However, it wiped me out. I knew Lion was close. He was close a few times, with breaks in between for me. Then I tried my hand. Then I tried the Magic Wand. I think since he needs a longer run-up to the edge, I need to do something BDSM-ish.

Yesterday, I suggested play spanking, but I didn’t want to do it when we were trying an earlier time because we wouldn’t know which worked. It’s certainly possible that playing earlier had a positive effect. Now, if I add in some play, such as a play spanking, maybe it will shorten the time it takes to get to the edge while I’m sucking him.

I don’t know what’s been going on that he loses his erection prematurely. I really do want to give him an orgasm. But then I think he’d be better off if I edge him for a day or two first. And then I worry about it being difficult to get him back to the edge the next day. Is it possible that there’s some muscle memory type of thing that will kick in if I give him an orgasm, so his body remembers what it feels like? It sounds silly, but I hope you know what I mean. In the past, I’ve equated it to blowing out the pipes or priming the pump. I want to get him up the mountain and over the edge, and maybe the next “valley” won’t be quite as big.

Maybe I’m making too big a deal out of it. I don’t want to put pressure on him. I’ll keep trying no matter how long it takes. On the other hand, what if I did demand an orgasm? Would my taking charge of the situation make any difference? Does he need me to be a bitch and take away privileges like he’s a teenager who crashed the car? I doubt it, but I’m willing to try if he thinks that will help.

I think more experimenting is in order. Let the spanking begin!


We have a treadmill. For the first time in over a year, I can walk more than a few feet at a time. We go to the store once a week. I get to walk a little then. But it’s not enough. The lack of exercise is responsible for my loss of stamina. Now that the treadmill is here, I’m getting back in shape. It’s a slow process. In the few days I have used it, I’ve managed to walk a quarter of a mile each session. I’m hoping that by this time next week, I’ll be up to half a mile. That may not seem like much, but it’s significant for me.

As Mrs. Lion mentioned yesterday in her post, I’m working on my second book. Apparently, my new profession is an author. So far, it’s a very low-paying job. It’s also tough work for me. I’m determined to write every day and self-publish as much as I can. Mrs. Lion and Julie of Strict Julie Spanks have helped by reviewing and editing my work. I need an editor/proofreader to help fix continuity and other errors I make that slip through the cracks. In a past life, I owned a design and publishing company. We had professional proofreaders on the payroll. It always amazes me what a pro can find in what I think is perfect text.

Until I can afford a pro, we will do our best and live with misplaced quotes, etc. Writing daily posts here has helped strengthen my writing chops. Fan Mail was a learning experience from end to end. I loved writing it. Mrs. Lion and I both like writing here. We enjoy sharing our lives with you. I’m hoping my fiction will be fun for you too. The Kindle edition, which you can read on any device, is only USD 2.99. If you click the book title above, it takes you to a free preview. Before I leave the subject of Fan Mail, if you’ve read it, please leave a review on Amazon. Click here to go to the Amazon page for reviews.

Penis update

Mrs. Lion has been reporting the state of my ability to get close to ejaculating. She’s going to try an earlier playtime to see if that helps things. I hope so. We briefly discussed locking me up again in the Evotion male chastity device. I’m expecting the delivery of the new version of the voice-controlled lockbox. The initial item didn’t work right. A new version has been manufactured, and I will test it as soon as it arrives. The new version uses Amazon Alexa to unlock and lock it. If this works as advertised, a keyholder could unlock the container remotely using the Alexa app on her cellphone.  This offers all sorts of possibilities. The main one for us is that Mrs. Lion can unlock the key for me in case of emergency, no matter where she is. I’ll keep you posted.

Tonight we’re going to try something a little different. Instead of waiting until 8 to start getting frisky, we’re going to try for a before-dinner rendezvous. I think we tried this once before, and it worked to some extent, but then life intruded, and we went back to our 8 pm routine. The problem is that I don’t seem to have any “oomph” after dinner. It takes some prodding (from me) before I get up to do the dinner dishes. If I shower, it’s even later before we get things started.

I won’t promise I’ll have any more oomph at 5, but I’m willing to try. Even though I work from home, I still need some downtime when I’m finished. But I can forgo that to see if an early start really does help Lion. He’s been getting hard and trying desperately to make it to the edge, but he’s just not making it. Last night I wondered if I’m not turning him on anymore. That’s silly because if I weren’t turning him on anymore, he’d never get hard at all.

Of course, the other issue might be the lack of actual play. I did play with his balls while I sucked him last night, but I don’t think that really counts. I would suggest a play spanking tonight, but then I wouldn’t know if it was the spanking or the early start that helped, assuming anything does help. I still think the biggest obstacle is stress. He’s still on furlough. And he’s writing another book. Both of those things add stress. Obviously, writing the book takes a lot of energy. He could just be worn out.

When he was writing the first book, I teased him that he used up all his sexual juju in his writing. He was turning himself on while writing, so he had nothing left by the time I got to him. In a sense, that may be true. I don’t think he’s turning himself on, necessarily. But he is tiring himself out. I’m not saying I want him to stop writing. I’m just looking for reasons why he isn’t making it to the edge.

Hopefully, starting the festivities before dinner will help. If it doesn’t, we’ll add in a play spanking. Sooner or later, we’ll get him to the edge. In the meantime, he’s still enjoying himself.

We had another wind storm, although it was far less gusty than the last one. Lion said we might lose power. Luckily, being the procrastinator I am, I never put stuff away from the last power failure so we would have been in good shape. The second I put stuff away is when we’ll lose power again.

Last night was Lion’s turn to beg off from sex. His stomach was bothering him. I made a big meal including a salad so we were both stuffed. Instead, we held hands and watched TV.

The other day, Lion wrote about the importance of punishment spanking and how each of us views it. I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong when he points things like that out. I know he’s not saying I’m wrong. I just feel it. It’s like I’m letting him down. Why can’t I just feel X like he wants me to? I guess the simple answer is that we’re wired differently. If, hypothetically, we couldn’t be together anymore and were forced (by whom, I don’t know, it’s hypothetical) to choose other partners, I would be fine with a vanilla partner. Assuming I had any sex drive, that is. I don’t think Lion would do well in a vanilla relationship. We’ve tried it a few times when he assured me he’d be fine without kinky stuff. He was climbing the walls in no time.

However, I do agree with his idea that our different views of punishment are the reason there haven’t been many (any) new rules. I see it as a game, I guess. For that reason, the trivial rules work for me. Yes, it’s nice not to have to set up the coffee pot every morning. Yes, it’s nice not to have to backtrack to grab Lion’s pills from the closet. But is it really a problem? No. I still can’t wrap my head around punishing him for annoying me. There are always extenuating circumstances. I also have a hard time punishing him for interrupting me. Again, there are degrees of interrupting.

I guess I would lump annoying me and interrupting me together. There are times he interrupts and I can just raise my voice to tell him I was going to say that as he interrupted me. If he’s been interrupting me or annoying me and it’s the last straw, I might punish him. I guess it’s really like a kid. You can only take so much before you snap. For me, raising my voice is a big step. I never used to let Lion know he was annoying me. I’m not sure what the next step is. Maybe it’s letting him know he’s on the brink of punishment. Maybe it’s actually punishing him. Maybe it’s both, at different times.

I’m still trying to get to the point that I think punishment is good for our marriage. Will I ever get there? I have no idea. I guess, if it makes Lion happy, it’s good for our marriage. I know he’s good for me.