I know sex is important to Lion and, yet, it still surprises me how much. Yesterday, I was okay for the most part. I’ve had stomach concerns for a few days, but it hasn’t been bad. Last night we had pizza. I’m ok to eat. If you asked me how I feel before eating, I’d say I’m fine. My stomach doesn’t feel sour or crampy. However, about a half hour after I eat, things change. The pizza changed things a lot. Then my contacts dried out. As I was removing them, I told Lion I was sorry I was such a mess. I was also tired but that’s an every day occurrence.

It was about 9 when I asked Lion if he wanted to do anything. He hadn’t been particularly responsive to my brief attempt to see if he was willing. He said it was okay if I wasn’t feeling well. By that time I was fine again. My stomach was behaving, my contacts were out so no more dry eyes, and I could have given him attention. Instead, he sighed for the rest of the night.

Now, I can’t be positive the sighs meant he was horny and upset that he hadn’t had attention. I’m assuming. Stereotypically, when a woman sighs, it means the man’s in trouble. Boy, if you can’t figure it out you’re in the dog house. I don’t believe I sigh when Lion has done something I don’t like. I get quiet. When I sigh, it’s because a game I’m playing isn’t going well or I’m achy or otherwise not feeling well. I’m sure there are other reasons, but it’s not a passive-aggressive reason.

Yes, I’m working on growling at him when he makes me mad. No, I’m not good at it yet. Luckily, he doesn’t make me mad often. If the sighs last night meant he was upset he hadn’t gotten attention then it makes me mad. But I don’t know what those sighs meant. This is the nonsense that bounces around in my mind. No wonder I don’t growl at him often. [Lion comments — for the record, I don’t sigh when I don’t get something. I don’t remember sighing at all. I’m very sure it wasn’t for lack of sex. I am unlikely to ask Mrs. Lion. I hate doing that. But one thing I’m not is passive-aggressive. If Mrs. Lion thinks I am unhappy because I want sex, why not ask me?]

Thanks to the magic of television, I was made to feel like a geezer in a single afternoon. We subscribe to Hulu. Generally, we watch reruns of “Mom” and shows of that ilk. On Saturday mornings, we like to tune in to Ion, a cable/satellite channel. It plays reruns of “Law and Order SVU” all day and night Saturday. Mrs. Lion and I like the series and generally watch an episode or two before getting going for the day.

Today, we discovered they replaced SVU with horrible, made-for-TV holiday movies. Apparently, we can look forward to this until Christmas. I decided to see what we could find on Hulu. To our delight, all episodes of SVU are there. We watched a couple of commercial-free episodes before getting up.

At lunchtime, we watched another. Mrs. Lion noticed that “Hill Street Blues,” another cop show from the ’80s was available. We watched the pilot. It was from 1982. The cops didn’t carry walkie talkies. There were no cell phones. The cops on the street had to find payphones — payphones? — to call in. The captain had a beeper.

Holy shit! This was all during my lifetime. I don’t think there was even an Internet then. I remember dialing in to Compuserve in the ’80s. Wow! They did have color TV in 1982. The truth is, Mrs. Lion and I go back further in time. We record “Match Game” on the Game Show Network. It airs episodes from 1974. Fortunately, there are no real hooks to the outside world other than dated questions about Richard Nixon and Howard Cossell.

So much has changed in a few decades. When I was active in the New York BDSM community, I became friends with the founder of the oldest BDSM organization in the country. He was in his 70’s when I knew him in the ’90s. He was submissive and wanted to be tied up and spanked. He decided to put an ad in an underground paper. He advertised for like-minded people to meet. A few answered his ad and they met in his apartment. For the record, they were all submissive men.

When I got involved in the ’90s, organized BDSM was well established. There were meetings, workshops, and parties. Women attended! There were very few female tops (Internet translation: Dommes). Like the explosive progress of technology, the maturing Internet brought many more women into the scene. The role of female top became more popular.

When I met Mrs. Lion, she had never considered or even heard of BDSM. I introduced the topic to her. That was back in 2002. So, I guess the idea of sexual power exchange hadn’t progressed all that far. Now it has. Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and other popular films and books, adult spanking and other BDSM stuff has gained popularity.

The Internet makes it simple for people who are curious about kink to Google their way into all sorts of stuff. Male chastity, which was virtually unknown in the ’90s, is now popular enough that neighborhood sex shops carry male chastity devices. If you visit dhgate.com and search for “Male chastity” you will find hundreds of products for sale. Even amazon.com sells male chastity devices (they are more expensive than the same ones on dhgate).

It’s nice to be joining the mainstream. Maybe one day no one will raise an eyebrow when they learn My wife spanks me.

Lion has a new rule. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s put his nighttime and morning medications in little baggies. He’s recently switched to little pill bottles he found online that look like old time film canisters. (Rotary phones, vinyl records, anyone, anyone?) He keeps these containers in drawers on shelves in the bedroom. When he comes out of the bathroom after his shower, he’s facing these shelves. Inevitably, he forgets to grab his meds. Whether I’ve worked all day or not, let the dog in and out fifty times or not, made dinner or not, I’m usually the one who backtracks to get him his pills. For a while, I joked that I was going to make it a rule that he was responsible for getting them. The other night, I was done. It’s now a rule.

I placed an order with a local grocery store yesterday. We got a few deliveries from them when the first lockdown happened. They also offer pickup and, since it’s very close to work, I usually pick up food on Monday or Wednesday when I’m at the office. Pickup is free whereas delivery costs about ten dollars. Both options are perfect for social distancing. And it eliminates some of the steps I hate about grocery shopping — actually grocery shopping. Even if they charged their normal fee, five dollars, I think I’d still pick up my order. There are a few things you have to go into the store for, but it’s certainly a shorter time in the store.

Anyway, my pick up time was between 6 and 7 pm. That’s also when we normally eat dinner. So I went and picked up the order, came home and put it away, and made dinner. As I carried dinner into the bedroom, I noticed Lion hadn’t gotten his meds. Here it is, the first night and he’s already getting punished. To my surprise, he got up and got his meds. He asked if he was too late to avoid punishment. Nope. As long as I don’t have to get them, he’s safe. Of course, if he’s sick or having trouble walking I’ll gladly get them for him. I’m not a monster.

Lion managed to keep the paddle away, but he didn’t miss out on sexual attention. He had a nice blow job. Does it count as a blow job if he doesn’t have an orgasm? What would you call it? I normally say “oral attention”, but Lion called it a blow job last night. It works for me. He didn’t actually get to the edge, but it’s fairly close to his last orgasm so I don’t think that’s unusual. He should be getting hornier as we go. I can definitely help make him hornier. It’s sort of a specialty of mine. [Lion comments — It certainly is!]

I know that I’m very lucky. It’s extremely rare for two people to complement one another the way Mrs. Lion and I do. It was a very lucky accident, one of those right-place, right-time situations when we met. For the record, it wasn’t obvious in the beginning that we were meant for each other. Based on our backgrounds, it would be very unlikely that anyone would think we would make a good couple.

I credit Mrs. Lion for our success. She has been willing to try anything, no matter how weird, that I suggest. Believe me, I make weird suggestions. It’s more than our sex life. It goes way beyond any power exchange. The real secret has nothing to do with any of this. I think the key can be summarized in one word: trust.

How do you get into a relationship where one partner can spank the other any time she wants? As many people have found out, it’s very difficult. The problem isn’t that there’s any fundamental moral or physical issue with spanking. It’s a lack of trust. Let’s say a guy, like me, wants his wife to spank him. He reads about all the people who have relationships that include it. He wants to try it.

His partner thinks it might be fun and agrees. She tells him what to do. He freaks out. He doesn’t trust that she won’t take over his life. The more common situation is that his wife doesn’t want to spank him because she’s not sure he will accept it. He might get violent and hit her because she hurt him. Worse, he may not want to be with her anymore. It all comes down to trust.

As Mrs. Lion will tell you, I’m independent and not particularly submissive. Yet, I’m perfectly happy to let her take charge and punish me as she sees fit. There’s no question that I like this arrangement. I’m very sure I wouldn’t like it if I felt oppressed. I’m willing to give her the sort of unconditional control because I know she loves me and wants me to be happy.

That’s the key. She wants me to be happy. Guess what? I want her to be happy. I want that more than anything else. I would hate it, but I would give up being spanked in a heartbeat if Mrs. Lion didn’t want to do it. I think that’s the reason it works for us. It’s very simple. We will do anything to make one another happy. In the process, we both end up having a very good time.