Lion has been snoozing a lot. He thought he’d be up half the night after being asleep so much in the evening, but he didn’t seem to have any problem. Neither of us is sure why he’s sleeping so much. I’d say it’s boredom after being on furlough for so long but he’s kept his nose to the grindstone recently by writing his book. I’m on the other side of the wall from him plugging away on my work. We stop for lunch and the occasional conversation. I guess it’s our way of being together without being on top of each other.
He was awake long enough for me to get him excited and even suck him for a while. I didn’t get him to the edge, but I was surprised he wanted as much activity as he did. It’s been four days since his orgasm. Sometimes that four days is enough time for him to be ready for another orgasm, but not lately. I teased him that he was using all his sexual mojo writing the book and he had nothing left for me. Of course, he thinks it’s because he’s losing his libido. He may have slowed down a bit with age, but I don’t think he’s in any danger of losing it.
I was thinking what he needs is more BDSM. And just after I thought that, it occurred to me that he doesn’t seem very excited with that either. Is he bored with it? Or maybe I’m not putting enough effort into it. Or maybe he’s bored with me. I’m not talking about being with me. I mean sexually. If I don’t want any sex for myself, has it become too boring for him? I don’t know. I really just thought of it before I typed it.
There’s at least two ways to look at it. Either sex only for him is a lot of pressure on him, or it’s a lot of pressure on me. He’s said he feels selfish. I know that can’t be easy on him. It may be one reason he hasn’t been so horny lately. What if he gets turned on by giving me orgasms? I’ve taken that away. He has to get turned on all by himself. On the other hand, there’s pressure on me to turn him on even though I don’t want sex for myself. I like doing it, and I don’t want to stop. But I can’t make him want sex any more than he can make me want sex. He has to bring a little bit to the party. I mean, I’m good but I’m not that good. (Modest, too.)
What I think I need to do is maybe go back to the Box o’Fun. If I don’t have to come up with what we’re doing, that will help. And it will prod me into doing something to begin with. I can’t have inertia beating me.