A recent post in the Domestic Discipline blog posed an interesting question: Can you spank your husband without feeling bad? The blog is written by a woman who talks about her DD/Spanking activities with her husband. Apparently, she had difficulty spanking him when they started playing. This is very similar to the experience Mrs. Lion and I had. The first time I asked her to spank me she barely tapped my bottom. It felt like gentle pats.
Over time, Mrs. Lion learned to hit harder. I encouraged her to keep escalating. After a while, a long while, she began using her paddle with enough force to make me scream and beg her to stop. When I did, she backed off immediately. We would discuss it and after a while, she disregarded my expressions of pain and would continue until she decided she was done.
When we talked about it, I suggested she might learn to enjoy spanking me. She said it made her feel bad, but she did it because she knew I wanted it. I hated that. My fantasy was that Mrs. Lion spanked me to punish me. I imagined she enjoyed it, even got turned on by beating me.
I finally got it through my head that wasn’t going to happen. But we were at a difficult point. She spanked me because she said I wanted her to do it. Well, yes I do. I wanted her to spank me because I needed to be punished. That reason didn’t require her to enjoy beating me. At that point, I think it made her feel bad that she was hurting me. In my mind that meant she would always hold back.
A year or two after we started domestic discipline, I suggested that there is an objective way to decide how serious a spanking has to be. I suggested that if I repeated the offense soon after being punished, the punishment didn’t make a strong enough impression. Therefore, Mrs. Lion might want to step it up. She did.
I discovered that I would try to escape when she got stricter. She wasn’t the only one who had to learn about spanking. She undertook some “experiments.” She would spank me a few times a week. Each time she would push me to the edge of escape. She administered swats in groups of ten. She would pause after each group. In the beginning, she paused for 10 seconds or more. Later the interval would go down.
She still uses the 10-swat technique. There is almost no pause between groups. She alternates between cheeks. Each group of 10 swats is applied to the same small area of my bottom, first on one cheek then the other. The next set of 10 might go to a slightly different area. She concentrates my spankings to the lower part of my butt and my upper thighs.
For trivial offenses, or when she isn’t in the mood to work too hard, the spankings are painful but pretty brief. Occasionally, she gives me a full-on disciplinary spanking. These last forever, well actually about five minutes. I hate them, but I have to admit they make her point. To be honest, the others don’t. They’re over before I regret getting into trouble. Mrs. Lion reads my posts, so now I am in trouble.
The biggest change is her attitude. She’s told me that she no longer feels bad when she hurts me. No, she isn’t turned on and she doesn’t think it is funny. She says it is just another chore like washing dishes. It isn’t unpleasant, but it isn’t fun either.