The Most Selfish Man In The World

Tuesday was a quiet day here. Mrs. Lion worked from home. That’s always nice. We enjoy being together even after all these years. Unfortunately, her stomach was acting up. She said she felt better later in the day. Just in case we had our standard comfort food for dinner: buttered egg noodles with peas. Our evening was quiet. Mrs. Lion played on her iPad and I watched TV. Sex wasn’t even mentioned.

For the record, I was fine with that. Just because I am horny doesn’t mean I run around with an erection all day and night. I only get desperate if Mrs. Lion teases me. This works out well for her. When she wants to be amused by my need for release, all she has to do is a few minutes of teasing. Otherwise, I’m not showing overt signs of being in heat. She likes it when I nearly leap into position for oral attention when she asks if I want some. It’s a little embarrassing for me but I can’t help it.

It’s true that I’ve always had a hard time initiating sex. I believe my deep-seated fear of rejection is responsible. Even in situations that are extremely safe, like with Mrs. Lion, it’s very difficult for me to make the first move. Male chastity  is almost an ideal way to compensate. Control is transferred to my lioness. I not only don’t initiate, I’m not allowed to.

This isn’t as great as it sounds. My problem may have been solved, but it is very unfair to my lioness. Before she lost interest in sex, she was very unhappy that I didn’t romantically initiate sex. I worry that her loss of libido was caused by my inability to initiate.

We are an almost ideal couple. We are completely in love after over 18 years together. Yet in that one area we didn’t work. We talked about ways to compensate for this initiation problem. You can read about some of our efforts in the 2014 and 2015 posts to our blog. They didn’t work. Mrs. Lion did her best. I did too. We just couldn’t find a way to get started. Once we managed to, things were great. This is one of my greatest regrets. One reason I often feel guilty about the sex Mrs. Lion gives me is that I remember how poorly I performed for her. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about this and wish we could try again.

I get a lot of sex. Mrs. Lion makes sure of that. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I miss sex with Mrs. Lion. I loved being inside her. Giving her orgasms felt almost as good to me as it did for her. I’d give up sex for me if I could bring her libido back. Mutually satisfying sex is a powerful form of intimacy. We are intimate and share everything, yet…

If sex went away for both of us, we would be just as close. We share a profound sense of belonging together. Perhaps the price of this perfection is sexual incompatibility. If either of us was more sexually aggressive, would we still be fuckng like 20-year-olds? Did I break her? Am I the most selfish man in the World? [Mrs. Lion — I think 20-year-olds is a stretch. And Lion is not selfish at all.]

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1 Comment

  1. Dear Lion!
    To my great regret, life is not a rough draft and it will be impossible to rewrite it from scratch. You can only regret what happened and understanding your guilt, try to atone for it in some other way. How, think for yourself.
    Sincerely yours, Lisa.

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