I Need Thicker Skin

We didn’t test out whether or not I could get Lion excited the day after a ruined orgasm. I was busy making packets of Lion’s prescriptions and vitamins. It always seems to take longer than I think it will. We were both tired. And, although we both slept late today, we’re both tired again today. I’m sure we’ll find the energy to do something tonight.

This morning I discovered that Lion had forgotten to put the coffeepot together. I told him he did. He said he wasn’t sure if he’d done it or not and was sort of mad at himself. He asked if I wanted him to put it together this morning. When I said I’d already done it, it seemed like he thought that sealed the deal. Was I not going to punish him if he did it this morning? No. If I get to it first, he’s in trouble. He asked if I knew he’d be in trouble last night. Sometimes I notice the coffee pot still in the dish drainer when I get the dog’s ice cream. I may think Lion will be in trouble, but many times he’s either sneaked into the kitchen in the middle of the night or he does it in the morning before I go to the kitchen. I’m never “sure” I have him.

Then he asked me why I didn’t tell him he was in trouble. Huh? I had to think about that one. I’d said, “Someone forgot to put the coffee pot together.” I think that’s what I usually say. I may tell him he’s due a spanking for forgetting the coffee pot, but usually I just tell him he forgot. What’s the difference? Apparently a lot.

I say this knowing that Lion will then say he won’t say anything ever again, but when I say or do something a certain way and he asks why I didn’t do it another way, it makes me feel like I can’t do anything right. I mean, doesn’t he know he’s in trouble if I tell him he forgot the coffee pot? Doesn’t he know he’s in trouble if I ask him if he ate first? Do I actually have to tell him, “You ate first. You’ll get swats for that.”? If I said he earned a punishment, obviously he’d need to know why. On the other hand, sometimes I don’t punish him for things he’s done wrong. As usual, I can see both sides. I think I need to be better at following through with punishments, but I don’t think I should have to tell him he’ll be punished. If it’s not clear, he can certainly ask.

To be clear, I don’t want Lion not to ask questions. I also don’t want him to stop pointing out things I might be doing wrong. I guess I’m the one who needs to stop doing things. I need to get thicker skin. I need to figure out how to not hear criticism when he’s just asking a question. Remember the contact lens fiasco? Yeah. Me too.