FLR And Domestic Discipline Were My Idea

Mrs. Lion made an offhand comment about our female led relationship that may puzzle some of our readers. She said in a recent post:

“Although we’re in a female-led relationship, I maintain I can’t insist Lion be ready to play at any given time. While a woman can have sex when she’s not turned on, it doesn’t quite work that way with a man for obvious reasons. It’s apparent when a man isn’t in the mood. “Not tonight, dear. I don’t have a boner.” It’s hard (groan) to argue with that. So until Lion is ready, we wait.”

If the sex Mrs. Lion seeks was for her, there would be no problem. My tongue is in perfect working order even if I don’t want sex for myself. I suspect that even if she wanted sex, it would be unlikely she would insist if I’m not in the mood.

That’s the thing about an FLR, it’s not some sort of 24/7 femdom scene. It would be suffocating to both of us if it were. Having power doesn’t mean continuously exercising it. For one thing, as I’m sure you know, I’m not particularly submissive. I don’t need Mrs. Lion to make all the decisions.

As far as I’m concerned, I want Mrs. Lion to have a strong voice. I want her to insist I correct the behavior that upsets her. I also want her to let me know if she wants something. Yes, these are my “I wants.” I understand that I’m not in charge.

Why do I get to say how I want Mrs. Lion to operate? I guess I don’t. However, I asked her to take charge. When I did, I explained those two wants. I didn’t suggest that was to be the limit of her authority. I just said that I thought they were very important to our relationship.

Lest it goes by unnoticed, I just said that I asked Mrs. Lion to be in charge. It wasn’t her idea, it was mine. The same is true of male chastity. I asked her to lock me in a chastity device.

I’m not alone. There are very few couples practicing male chastity at the woman’s request. There are even fewer FLR’s started by the woman. I don’t think a single domestic discipline arrangement was initiated by the dominant partner.

How many wives are ready to say, “I want to be your mommy and spank you when you are naughty.”? Most wives may think of their husbands as their oldest kids, but it’s unlikely they want to initiate a disciplinary relationship with them.

Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to be my mommy. She’s done with child-rearing. The last thing she wants is for me to regress into a little boy. There is an inherent parental aspect of domestic discipline. It’s hard to deny that when Mrs. Lion punishes me, that it doesn’t have a maternal flavor.

I don’t think of her like my mother even when she paddles me. I realize that the power dynamic that gets me punished can best be described as maternal. We have no notion of wifely punishments in our society. But that’s exactly what I get.

We don’t have a definition of how the archetype disciplining wife behaves. There aren’t any self-help books on the subject. Blogs like ours offer discussions of how we practice it. We are a rare breed. Mrs. Lion doesn’t know any other women who punish their husbands. [Mrs. Lion — It’s possible I do without realizing it. It’s not something we advertise. Lion may know other husbands who are punished without realizing it. That’s his point.] External support groups don’t exist.

Most discussions of the subject are centered around the punishments themselves. While this is potentially useful since most wives have no experience spanking grown men, it isn’t really the point. The more important information is how to structure a healthy, loving marriage around explicit female authority.

A lot of men, including me, express thoughts on the subject. Maybe some of what we have to say is helpful. It would be far more useful for women in disciplinary relationships to share how they do it and how they feel about it.

Mrs. Lion is absolutely effective as my disciplinary wife. She knows how to deliver a meaningful spanking. I imagine she might want to share with other women how she feels about my request to punish me for annoying her. That seems to be difficult. [Mrs. Lion — Difficult indeed!!]

I’m sure there are other useful topics to share. I suspect the least interesting subject would be how to spank a man. Men like to read about that. Women don’t need classes on that subject. What’s more important is how to handle the emotional weight of real-life disciplinary marriage. Did I get this right, Mrs. Lion? [Mrs. Lion — I never thought of it that way, but I guess so.]


  1. I believe that there are more marriages and relationships like ours than are known. I think more and more people are converting to FLR relationships. We’ll know we’ve made it when a sitcom emerges under that topic!

  2. Aren’t almost all sitcoms FLR? Consider “Father Knows Best”, “I Love Lucy”, etc. The men may not get spanked, but the women make all the decisions. There are many others from the 50’s like “Life of Reilly” *(sp). Pretty much all of the “family” sitcoms have mom firmly in the driver’s seat.

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