There are times when Mrs. Lion and I are out of sync. I’m tired and she’s wide-awake, or she’s tired and not feeling particularly frisky while I’m raring to go. It isn’t very often that we are that polarized. More often then not, I may not be completely ready for fun or she may be thinking about something else and not very interested in being disturbed. This doesn’t bother me. It happens with everyone. The only problem is the side effects of these differences. We aren’t very touchy-feely people. We don’t like to be wrapped around one another when we sleep. However, we do like to hold hands even in our sleep.
We both feel better when we have more physical contact. It doesn’t have to be sexual, but it generally is. Somehow we seem to have gotten out of the habit of hugging and kissing and touching when sex isn’t part of the equation. We are both extremely confident and secure in our relationship. Strictly speaking, physical contact isn’t necessary to sustain that. That doesn’t mean we don’t want or need it.
As you may have discovered, we aren’t particularly social critters. We are completely happy in our own little world. We barely noticed the shelter-in-place requirement because that’s what we do anyway. We don’t have a lot of interests in common. I like classical music and opera. Mrs. Lion likes alt-rock. I like watching television, she likes playing games on her iPad. The result of this is that when we are together, I’ll be watching TV and she’ll be playing on her iPad. In the car, we don’t turn on music because we can’t agree on a genre we both like. On the surface, it sounds like we are very poorly matched.
Even when it comes to sex, our interests were quite different when we first got together. Fortunately, right from the start, we were very attracted to one another. We were able to sexually satisfy each other easily. Over a relatively short time, we fell in love. It wasn’t one of those symbols-crashing, violins-playing moments when we discovered how much we care for one another. Instead, we both realized it was getting harder and harder to say goodbye. We didn’t want to be apart.
You’d have to agree that we are a very unlikely couple to have so completely adopted a female-led relationship, domestic discipline, and male chastity. I don’t think you’d have trouble believing that I would be part of this. I had been a member of the BDSM community for many years. Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, led a very vanilla suburban life until she had the misfortune of meeting me.
I introduced her to all this stuff. I taught her how to do most of it. It’s remarkable that she not only learned, but adopted as her own all of these exotic, kinky practices. In the beginning, when I first introduced her to the things I like, she agreed to try them with no particular commitment to go beyond that. A perfect example of this is spanking. When I first asked her to try, I could barely feel her hand touching my bottom. It took a long time, but she learned to be a very effective disciplinary spanker.
Okay, you might say that she picked up the skill because she knows it’s something I like, but shouldn’t she acquire a taste for it as well? That’s a hard question to answer. She’s never found spanking me to be sexually exciting. I don’t think she’s ever considered it fun. She has learned that it’s a useful marital skill. She can give me a “play” spanking that I find sexually arousing. She can also give me a disciplinary spanking that will make me think twice before repeating whatever it is I’m being spanked for doing. She’s perfectly comfortable providing either.
Essentially the same is true of orgasm control and male chastity as well as her role as my disciplinary wife. You could argue that she’s learned to do this because she knows I need it. I can’t argue with that. Only recently, we learned that she actually misses these things if we can’t do them. It’s taken a while to understand, but the fact is that she actually does enjoy her role. She just enjoys it in a way differently than I might have expected.
For example, spanking me isn’t necessarily fun for her. However, catching me breaking a rule is something she likes. Even those times when I do something that annoys her when she realizes that I need to be punished for it, she gets a little smile and lets me know. Mrs. Lion has always enjoyed finding inconsistencies. She gets a kick out of discovering continuity errors in movies and television shows. I think that one of the reasons she enjoys some of her iPod games is that they let her discover little things that get her to the solution. In that same sense, it’s fun for her to catch me doing something that will earn me a spanking.
The thought of being spanked is what turns me on. I’m not terribly fond of being caught doing something wrong. However, I understand it’s part of what has to happen. Similarly, I think that orgasm control interests her because she can test herself to see just how far she can push me without letting me ejaculate. Unfortunately, she really likes making me ejaculate. As a result, she doesn’t play the game quite as strongly as I might like. I’ve talked about this with her a few times and she is very noncommittal about whether or not she wants to change her approach. Fair enough.
There are probably many other things that she likes about what we do that are very different from the things I like about them. The activities may be the same, but what we get from them can be entirely different. It’s taken a while for me to understand this. Part of me wants her to get aroused by beating my butt. That’s just silly. I realize that she doesn’t mind spanking me. She has fun catching me and seeing my reaction when she does. My reaction has become stronger over time because the punishments she gives me are more meaningful. That gives her an incentive to become a stricter spanker. Somehow everything fits together in the end.