Smoke-Filled Night

There are a few givens when you live in the Pacific Northwest: approximately nine months of the year are cloudy/rainy and there will be wild fires in eastern Washington. Occasionally, that smokes blows to the west. It can create some beautiful orange sunsets and sunrises, but it can also lower the air quality dramatically. I’m certainly not detracting from the suffering of the people in the immediate area of the wild fires. A coworker had a close call on Saturday with fire very near her house. It’s just unusual for us to feel the effects and we’re not equipped for it.

Needless to say, we didn’t sleep well last night. Between the smoke smell and having the windows all closed, it was a difficult night. We had the portable air conditioner going so that helped a bit but also pulled some smoke in the house. By morning, the sun was bright and the wind was gone, but the smoke stayed settled in for a few days. Lion had some trouble breathing last night. My eyes, sinuses, and lungs are not happy. I hesitate to say it’s the cherry on the crap sundae that is 2020, so I’ll just say it’s at least the whipped topping. I’m sure the year still has some sprinkles, if not the cherry, left to go.

Lion was already tired before the smoke rolled in. There was no joy in Mudville. I’m fairly sure there won’t be any sex happening until the cage arrives. I realize the irony of that statement. The cage, instrumental in male chastity, will restart our sex life; well, Lion’s sex life. I realize it’s still just a theory, but I believe Lion needs to be caged in order to be horny. Sure, he’s horny much of the time, but in order to be horny enough to make it to the edge consistently, he needs to prevented from having random erections. The very thing that outwardly signals a male is horny needs to be prevented.

It’s really not that simple. The cage doesn’t just stop an erection. The fact that it’s locked on is, I theorize, what contributes to making him horny. It’s a bondage thing. It’s a power thing, or lack thereof actually. He has no power over his penis. I’ve taken it away by locking it up. I guess, if you want to know who wears the pants in the family, you have to know who wears the cage. Yes, we split things fairly equally in most aspects of our marriage. We both decide what’s for dinner, when we need to go to the store, where we’ll go on vacation, etc. but when it comes to sex I am in charge. Assuming neither of us is ill or tired, I decide when Lion gets play and/or sex. It may not always go well. Depending on his horniness level, he may not make it to the edge. He might not become fully erect. I think this is where the cage helps.

I’m sure there are other factors, but I bet once the cage goes on, Lion will be hornier. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’m anxious to put my theory to the test again. This time we’ll make sure the dog doesn’t chew Lion’s cage.

What do you think?