I wasn’t feeling well yesterday so I came home from work early. Lion gave me some medicine and I managed to do some work from home. Dinner was bland noodles and, although I felt better, I was still afraid to move around too much. I’m not sure if Lion was in the mood, but I wasn’t up for anything.
I’m not sure what to do for Lion. He’s been feeling, well I’m not sure exactly what he’s been feeling. I think he’s feeling guilty that he wants sex and I don’t. But it’s more than that too. It’s affecting his ability to get aroused. It’s affecting his ability to even care about sex right now. I don’t know what to do to help. The obvious thing is to give him more attention, but that will likely make him feel more guilt. It’s a catch-22. If I leave him alone to sort it out, we become stagnant. I don’t want that. While I’m looking forward to the new cage getting here, I know it’s not a cure all. It won’t magically fix Lion. If I thought it was that easy, I’d slap the Jail Bird back on him.
It’s just as likely that his doldrums, for want of a better word, are the result of COVID-19 and his furlough. He got an email the other day from work that said he wouldn’t be called back anytime soon, if ever. It’s the “if ever” part that’s the most worrisome. Of course, with the $600 a week dropped down to $300 a week, short term money is an issue too. This can’t be good for his mental or sexual health. It’s pretty stressful being stuck in a house for so long, especially knowing anytime you venture out you could get a virus that could kill you. That may be exaggerated. The disease isn’t rampant around here, but it wasn’t rampant in Florida or California until recently either. You just never know.
Maybe what we need to do is to come up with a new routine. Maybe we need an over-the-top routine to get back on track. With a decent amount of work, I could transform the pantry/waxing room into a dungeon. We could make it dark and evil looking like they do on TV when the cops burst into the “pervert’s” house looking for the murder scene. I could lead Lion into the dungeon by a leash, tie him up and do all sorts of unspeakable things to him. If I thought that would help, I’d certainly do it. I don’t think Lion is swayed by the way TV depicts BDSM.
I know he’s happy with the way we do things. Sure, he’s having trouble right now, but it will get better. I think he needs a purpose. Being out of work has taken that away and taking a man’s work away can make him feel like less of a man. Lion never seems like less of a man to me, whether he’s working or not. But it doesn’t matter what I think. Lion has to think it.
[Lion — Being out of work doesn’t make me feel rudderless. It makes me worry profoundly about our ability to survive. Right now, we aren’t even getting the extra $300 a week. I have little chance of landing another job now. My worry is economic. The other stuff that Mrs. Lion talks about is much more serious to me.]