Making Points and a Red Butt

Not only did we find more cucumbers for pickling, we also stumbled upon a larger farm stand with raspberries (Lion had all but given up hope of finding them this season), strawberries and blueberries. The kitchen is full of yummy goodness. Now “all we have to do” is pickle, can and freeze it all.

In the process of driving to find our bounty, Lion committed the sin of interrupting and highjacking my conversation. It’s one thing if he’s agreeing with me or furthering my thought, but sometimes he just goes off and running with his own thought. Even if he just said, “blah, blah, blah” and allowed me to continue, he might not get himself in trouble. It’s when he says, “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, etc.” that annoys me. I should probably just interrupt him right back, but I usually let him talk himself out and then say, “so…as I was saying” to let him know he’s probably in trouble. And then when I’m done with my thought, I circle back and tell him he’s definitely in trouble. Now he can look forward to his buns being on fire in the not-too-distant future.

(Another thing that’s annoying is interrupting my thought process while writing a post, even if it is for the time-sensitive first stages of pickle making.) [Lion — Is this spankable too?}

When we got home, I told Lion he should finally make his whipped cream that I’ve been waiting for him to make so we could eat berries I bought weeks ago and had to throw out. He likes fresh whipped cream. Real whipped cream, as he is so quick to point out. In direct opposition to my Cool Whip that I can eat right out of the container, thank you very much. I also like fake cheese slices and Twinkies, although I prefer Hostess cupcakes. After he mixed the sugar and heavy cream, he asked me to find a piece for his whipped cream squirter. I have no idea where it is. It used to be in our “junk” drawer and now it’s probably lounging in the bottom of a box somewhere because not everything fits in the drawers in this house like it fit in the drawers in the other house.

I found myself getting annoyed that I’d have to rummage through boxes to find a needle in a haystack. And I’d been so calm on our staycation. There’d been very little stress up to that point. Why can’t Lion just deal with fake whipped cream? I settle for real whipped cream when we don’t have Cool Whip. Actually, he did say he’d be okay with Cool Whip. I’m the one who wanted to get him the real stuff. So I put him in the prickly jockstrap and went to the local market for Redi-Whip, which assures me right on the label that it’s real whipped cream.

I’m not sure how long he was in the jockstrap. I think it was at least an hour, which doesn’t sound like very long unless you’re the one in the prickly jockstrap. Since he has no butt to speak of, the waist strap had to be really tight. He said he wasn’t sure which bothered him more. He certainly had marks from the waist strap. I suggest his suspenders for the future. He dislikes his suspenders too. I took him out because he had to pee, but in hindsight, I should have unzipped the front, allowed him to pee, and then re-zipped him. Next time.

After dinner I whomped his butt. Once he starts bleeding, it’s difficult to tell if he’s actually getting red or if it’s transferred from the paddle. By the way, he was yelping. I assumed I was making my point. Afterward, I’m never sure. He said his buns didn’t hurt much. I could see marks when he stood up but they were just superficial. I doubt he had any lasting effects.

Lion got more prickliness when I wrapped a strip of Velcro around Mr. Weenie. It wasn’t really tight but it did leave a bit of a mark. It’s hard to miss when you’re face down on a weenie. I don’t know how many days it’s been since his orgasm [Lion — Today is 9.], but this morning he said he was horny. I figure he’s got at least until Sunday before he has another orgasm. Maybe longer. I just know I don’t want to give him one too early in our days off. It’s nice to have him horny when I have time to play with him.

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