It appears that expanding our disciplinary relationship to cover things I do that are thoughtless or annoy Mrs. Lion is stalled. I get it. Spanking me for breaking a rule like not setting up the coffeepot is more of a game. Don’t get me wrong, the spanking I receive is no fun. Spotting my offense is something that Mrs. Lion enjoys. She tells me that she’s neutral about the actual punishment. It neither bothers her nor turns her on to spank me.
That alone is substantial progress. It wasn’t that long ago when Mrs. Lion disliked administering a disciplinary spanking. She was fine spanking me for “play”. She knows I want and in a perverse way, like those spankings. She also knows that I really hate her disciplinary spankings. She’s learned that in another way I want strict punishment. Now, she’s fine about administering it.
I think that the problem we currently face is more about the subjective nature of these more personal offenses. When we discuss what the problem might be, Mrs. Lion most often says that she’s already bothered by what I did and it feels like too much trouble to bother herself more by punishing me. She also says that sometimes she doesn’t think it’s worth it to call me out on something.
It’s true that identifying my contribution to how she is feeling isn’t direct and easy to understand. It’s much easier to see that the coffeepot is not set up. Identifying my contribution to how she might be feeling requires her to do some introspective analysis at a time when she’s clearly not interested in doing anything. I think this is a slippery slope.
For example, one thing I know she hates it when I interrupt her. On some occasions, it’s obvious that I’ve broken her chain of thought and stopped her from communicating. Other times, it’s not that clear. She may have paused for a rather long time and I’ve interpreted the silence as an opening for me to contribute. On the other hand, she was pausing because she wanted to complete a thought. Do I deserve to be punished for misunderstanding that pause?
Even if it annoyed Mrs. Lion that I spoke during her thoughtful silence, she generally recognizes that I had no way to understand that she had more to say. She wants to give me the benefit of the doubt. The net result is that I have to do something fairly egregious before she thinks about spanking me.
Other, more established disciplinary couples seem to have developed a kind of silent system to accumulate these minor annoyances. From what I’ve read, the disciplinary wife keeps mental track of these little annoyances. If she experiences more than a couple in a week, she informs her husband that he earned a spanking. I think this would be a workable solution for us. I don’t think it would work right now.
The problem is that Mrs. Lion doesn’t have that internal annoyance counter. She likes to minimize stress by avoiding even mentioning that she is annoyed. Somehow we have to get past that. One way might be for her to try telling me when something bothers her. I will have to understand that this is not an invitation to discuss it. In fact, perhaps starting a discussion is immediate grounds for spanking.
The idea is that for the time being Mrs. Lion could put me in charge of counting these little annoyances. She doesn’t have to keep track at all. Her job is simply to identify them. It’s also not to assign blame. We both will understand that I am probably not the complete cause of the annoyance. However, I am a contributor. If the count goes to, let’s say, three, I let her know and I earn a spanking.
We had discussed having her spank me every time one of these little annoyances happens. I think her sense of fairness has prevented her from doing that. Maybe this new idea will work better for her. She’s not condemning me to a beating every time she gets that twinge. Essentially, by letting me know I should add to the count, she is warning me to be more careful. If she picks three as the number, I know that I better get on my toes if that account gets to two within a week.
I’m suggesting that the counter resets every Saturday at midnight. If Mrs. Lion likes this idea and actually trusts me enough to inform me when I should add one to the count, I think we will be on our way to expanding our disciplinary relationship to include more meaningful offenses. I realize that I have a big responsibility in this. My inclination is to discuss things. If this is to work, I have to just silently accept what she says and add one to my count. She doesn’t have to explain or even identify what I did. Even if she is consistently silent about the nature of my offenses, I’m smart enough to figure it out for myself eventually.