The other day, Lion said there should be a trial period for domestic discipline and that once the trial was over there should be no reason to end DD. His feeling is that ending it would signal the end of the marriage. I disagree.
If Lion came to me and said he wanted to stop DD, I wouldn’t wave him off with a laugh. There must be a good reason he no longer wanted to do it. I can’t see giving him a yes or no answer without first discussing things. Why does he want it to end? Does he, in fact, want to end the marriage? I think there would be signs long before he asked to end DD, but it’s a valid question. Is he depressed and doesn’t feel he can manage following rules anymore? Again, I’d hope there would be signs, but talking is good. Is he somehow physically unfit to handle punishment? Yes, I should know long before the request, but he may have been hiding it for fear that I would see it as rejection or weakness. My point is, if there’s a problem, we should discuss it.
I’ve said before that I don’t rule with an iron fist. I’m not heartless. I want Lion to be happy. If he’s not happy, I need to know. The only way he knows I’m unhappy is if I tell him. The same goes for him. Neither one of us is exactly equipped to share our deepest darkest secrets. The last time Lion was unemployed, I never knew he cried after interviews until he shared it in a post. I am a pro at hiding when he hurts my feelings. I’ve made some progress with this lately, but I still do it sometimes.
Things are rarely black and white. Life is a roller coaster with much of the ride in the non-terrifying parts. If Lion wants to stop domestic discipline, I’d be willing to bet he’s stuck in one of the terrifying parts and needs to be towed back to the loading zone for repairs. We’ll need to see what we can do to get things rolling along again.