He Better Moisten His Buns Well

As we were snuggling in to sleep last night, Lion said, “I think I forgot something.” Oh, yes. He forgot it was punishment day. I forgot too but, as I’ve said, it’s not my job to remember. His butt still has surface remnants from his last punishment just the other day. If I were him, I’d be sitting in a vat of moisturizer right now to make sure my skin was as supple as possible. It’s going to be a rough evening.

Neither one of us can believe he forgot again. While it’s true he might have been thrown off because I took some vacation days, he can’t really use that excuse. He needs to find a better way to remember. We’re heading into Monday, which is another punishment day, and he better not forget that one. I’ve given up on going for bruising, but I’m sure he won’t want swats two days in a row.

Thanks to a comment by Mark, I’m going to look for a thinner paddle we got not long before we moved. I also have a few thick rubber paddles that deliver more of a thud than a sting. One of them may be the key to bruising. If not, I’m sure they’ll be painful enough to send Lion a message. What’s the message? “Do what you’re supposed to do!”

Yesterday, I dragged out the hedge trimmer to tame the out-of-control hedge near the road. I was doing okay, even though I’m too short to reach the top of the hedge at one end until my arms started getting heavy. I was debating whether I should have at it again to finish up today or wait. I answered by dragging out the ladder to install a weather station we’ve had for a while. I took down our non-functional solar light and mounted the weather station in its place. All of this lugging and lifting and climbing has left my arms heavy again. Lion might think this is good news in terms of his punishment later on, but he should know better than to count me out. I’ll either bounce back by then or I’ll decide to go for a two-part punishment. There’s nothing in my rules that say I can’t start it today and continue tomorrow. Of course, if he forgets punishment day tomorrow too, he’ll be in more hot water.

Forget about hot water. He might need to shoo the dog off her cooling mat to soothe his burning buns.

Lion — I found a bruising device online. It’s a very thick, heavy synthetic cane. (Link) I hope she likes it. I hate to see her frustrated. This is what the narrow paddle we have looks like. It might work. I think it is a bit long. It hasn’t in the past, but then Mrs. Lion hasn’t hit this hard in the past either.]

What do you think?