Tuesday night was quiet. That’s normal since we don’t usually do anything the night after I ejaculate. Both of us slept fairly well on Tuesday night. I had been having a lot of trouble getting to sleep and on many nights ended up watching TV until 3 AM. Tuesday night I went to bed with Mrs. Lion and fell asleep promptly. Yesterday, I finally got to go into Seattle to get a steroid shot in my shoulder. It’s long overdue, but thanks to the demonstrations we haven’t been able to get downtown.
I realize that I have been writing a lot about spanking lately. I think it’s because our disciplinary relationship is maturing and I’m beginning to understand how it works. That may sound odd. But the fact of the matter is that something that seems as simple as introducing spanking punishment into a marriage turns out to be substantially more complicated.
Surfing for spanking
Since I’m not working, I’ve had a chance to do a lot of web surfing. My most recent objective has been to understand how other couples incorporate domestic discipline into their lives. I am excluding the religiously-based practice since that comes from a completely different perspective. As far as I can tell, it turns out that all male-spanking domestic discipline originates with the male partner. This is exactly the same as it is with male chastity. In almost all cases the man asks his wife to lock up his penis or, for domestic discipline, spank him.
That’s what happened with us. I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me in a chastity device and then a couple of years later asked her to spank me for discipline. There is a strong parallel between the way male chastity and domestic discipline worked their way into our marriage. Both started as Mrs. Lion accommodating a sexual need of mine. Chastity was a new one on her when I asked. She knows that I like BDSM and we’ve done that sort of play on a fairly regular basis since we’ve been together. But I never asked her to control my sexual release.
She is a very good sport and did her best to accommodate my request. It didn’t take her long to completely understand what I wanted and implement total orgasm control over me. Domestic discipline was a little more difficult. Mrs. Lion has been spanking me almost from the very start of our relationship. It took her a very long time to hit me hard enough for me to really feel it. By the time we started male chastity, she was delivering spankings that could make me yelp. They weren’t hard enough to make me try to escape, but I could definitely feel them.
Is it bdsm or punishment?
We were both confused about how we would differentiate between a punishment and a play spanking. We tried lots of different things. All of our attempts are documented in earlier posts. I did research and passed on what I read to Mrs. Lion. She worked on her technique and finally developed an effective punishment style.
Now there is no mistaking a punishment spanking from one delivered as part of BDSM play. It’s not that one ends up more painful than the other. Though I have to say my punishment spankings end up hurting me a lot more nowadays. The difference is in how Mrs. Lion delivers it. She wants it to hurt right from the start. She swats as hard as she can while allowing me to avoid trying to escape. She intentionally aims for spots that I find most painful. If I was sexually aroused when assuming my spanking position, her first 10 swats dispel any arousal.
My skin frequently breaks during a spanking. I don’t understand exactly why. I have been routinely applying skin lotion to my rear end to keep the skin more flexible. I bleed less, but there is still some blood. I can’t feel it when I bleed. There is no visible wound after the spanking. It’s a little mysterious. Mrs. Lion has learned to disregard the bleeding. It doesn’t stop the punishment. I totally subscribe to this. Unlike a play spanking, nothing stops the punishment other than a safeword. I haven’t safeworded up until this point. My understanding is that if I do, the spanking will end then and there. However, the next day Mrs. Lion will repeat it until it reaches her conclusion.
I’m not a very satisfactory spanking target. I feel the pain every bit as much as anyone else. However, it’s very difficult to mark me. I don’t get as red as others do and it’s highly unusual to bruise me. It’s also very difficult to leave me with discomfort the next day. Part of this is probably technique. In the past, when I’ve received play spankings at various BDSM events, I have been left with “souvenir” bruises. I think Mrs. Lion and I may need to experiment so that she can reliably mark me and give me a reminder the next day.
should we return to the “spanking experiment” style?
One of the precepts of the famous Disciplinary Wives Club was that a spanking would be extremely painful and would hurt for days afterward. I agree with this concept. I think that I’m being too much of a baby when I’m being spanked, and this is deterring my lioness. I’m not sure how to overcome it. My suggestion is that when I appear to be trying to roll away, that she introduce longer pauses between groups of swats. This was very effective when she was doing her “experiments”. Each experiment was at least 300 swats, in groups of 10 swats. She used different paddles and different levels of force. Almost every experiment ended with me being marked.
The marks almost always appeared on the sides of my cheeks. That may be a hint for her. That’s also where swats hurt the most. I managed to accept these stronger spankings because Mrs. Lion paused long enough between 10 swat volleys to let me compose myself. Over time as I learned to better accept the pain, the pauses grew shorter.
Since then, my disciplinary spankings have been considerably milder than her experiments. I’m not sure why but I think she might want to consider returning to the level of force she used then. There was no permanent damage and we both agreed I had been soundly spanked. In case you’re wondering, I consider it part of my role to help make her more effective as my disciplinary wife. I think that’s only fair. If she had grown up in a household where spanking was common and very painful, I’m sure she wouldn’t need my input. Neither of us grew up in that environment. We have to learn on our own.
I’m not suggesting that the punishment spankings I currently receive are too mild. They aren’t. They are quite effective. I think we both agree that more is better. Mrs. Lion is still finding her way. I suggest she think back to those experiments. When she finished those, she had a spanking style that truly struck fear into my heart.