I think that the reason it’s often difficult to convince someone to do kinky stuff with you is that they don’t understand the real reason you want it. Let me explain. One of the more difficult conversations a guy can have is when he asks his partner to lock him into a chastity device. Obviously, that’s a pretty odd request. A logical question he might get is “why?”
This is where the fun begins. After some stammering, he might explain that by locking him up she would get much more attention from him. He would be focused on getting her off and not himself. He might point out that being locked up prevents him from getting sexual pleasure until she unlocks him. That makes her boss of his penis.
It isn’t too surprising that most women aren’t ecstatic when they hear this. I don’t think it’s likely that they fantasize about physically owning a man’s genitalia. What do you want for Christmas, dear? I want to own a penis! Not too likely. Being a male, I like owning a penis. Well, more accurately, I like someone else enjoying it.
The simple truth is that all the blather about delivering more female orgasms, doing the housework, etc., etc. are manifestations of a much more basic need. It’s exciting to imagine that someone is so interested in your sex life that she will actively take charge of your pleasure. I have thought long and hard about why I want this. Something deep down inside me gets extremely aroused at the thought of losing all control of my own sexual pleasure. That’s the real game underneath all that other stuff. Wearing a chastity device is physical proof that control has been surrendered.
Regardless of whether it goes on for a few hours or many years, that’s what the game is about. I wonder if it wouldn’t be far easier to sell if instead of talking about all the supposed benefits of taking over penis control, you simply said, “It’s really exciting for me to lose control of my sexual pleasure. I trust you, I love you and would like you to decide when I get to ejaculate.”
That’s the heart and soul of male chastity. The hardware is part of the game. It’s penis bondage. Once your partner understands sexual control, it’s not very hard to tell her about the fantasy you might have about wearing one of these devices.
It’s really an easy sell. Mrs. Lion felt fine about accommodating my rather odd desire for her to control my orgasms. She already knew I liked being tied up and immediately connected wearing a chastity device with my bondage fetish. We both understood the game was all about me. It had nothing to do with improving her sex life, getting a cleaner house, or anything else. It is something that turns me on. She loves me and didn’t see any problem accommodating this request.
The same is true of other fetish activities. If you like wearing women’s underwear and want your wife to dress you in them, the most reasonable way to approach it is to tell her it arouses you to do this. I am sometimes put in a pair of panties. Mrs. Lion knows I don’t particularly like women’s underwear; on me, that is. She knows that it’s humiliating and I like that feeling. Wearing a silly pair of panties under my jeans offers the remote-but-still-possible chance someone will see them. That would be humiliating. Oh boy!
I don’t claim that I’m wanting her to make me wear them because it makes her more powerful. The point here and everywhere else is that when it comes to power exchanges, it’s really important to think about them realistically. Sure, once the game is going, your partner may be very willing to act out the fantasy. She’s far more likely to do that if she understands the real motivation behind it.
As we’ve discovered, once a practice, in our situation male chastity and orgasm control, becomes embedded in the relationship, things change. They generally change in a positive way. If after doing some of these things for a while, your partner continues and is happy doing it, chances are very good it just will become part of your life. Orgasm control is something we no longer even think about. Mrs. Lion knows that she is the only source of sexual pleasure for me and she knows I like that. She enjoys frustrating me because I like her doing it.
The reasons are less important now. We just enjoy the activities. We both practice lifestyle male chastity. We both really like it. I don’t think we would’ve ever gotten started if I presented the fantasy instead of the naked truth about what I want.