It isn’t fair. If a woman says she is horny they throw a parade. The man in her life scrambles to satisfy her sexual need. If a man, like me — actually me — says he’s horny, the reaction is an eye roll. Let’s face it, we males really get the short end of the sexual stick. Somehow females have found a way to trivialize our sexual needs while magnifying their own.
They are so good at this that they’ve convinced some of us that we want them not to satisfy us sexually. They’ve convinced us to spend money to buy devices that make it impossible for us to satisfy ourselves. We’ve been convinced that this is a good, fun thing to do. We believe that it’s entertaining to be brought to the very edge of orgasm and then stopped. We invite this to happen not just once but as often as our mate desires. Meanwhile, we believe she should get as many orgasms as she can handle.
What the hell?
Are we brainwashed by some demonic drug? Are subliminal messages being slipped into our brains at night while we sleep? Is there something in the water? If there is, only a select few of us seem to have drunk the Kool-Aid.
I don’t think there’s a bunker deep in a mountain where feminist strategists plan and execute ways to suppress male sexuality. Though, that would make an interesting movie, wouldn’t it? The key is the oldest story in the book: the biological imperative to build a genetically strong species.
There’s a very good reason why our sex drives work the way they do. Female mammals, whether lionesses or human, are biologically programmed to have their eggs fertilized by the best quality male who will mate with them. In the case of humans, it’s a little more complicated. In order to assure that the offspring survive the long maturation process, females need to find a mate who will stay with them and protect them when they are vulnerable during that long period of child care.
Unlike most other mammals, human females invite sexual intercourse even when infertile. Sex is used as a bonding force for the couple. Some reasonably recent research has shown that in some species the females will mate with males who will protect them and stay with them. However, when they are fertile, they will seek out the best physical specimen they can find. Some human females do this as well. Some human males actually like them doing it. Societal pressures at least in the West, discourages this practice in favor of strict monogamy. This social construct may contribute to the high divorce rate.
We males are programmed to mate whenever possible. We are always in heat. In a monogamous relationship, it’s very unlikely that the female will be receptive as often as the male wants sexual action. Of course, there are exceptions when the stronger libido belongs to the female. I’m sure you can see where this is going. If there is a way to throttle down the male’s desire for sex while still keeping them interested and engaged, it’s a win-win situation.
One approach is to encourage him to take care of his own needs with his hand. This is a little dangerous. He’ll probably grow bored eventually and look for a two-person game outside of the relationship. If he’s fully satisfied taking care of his own needs, the bond between the mates is weakened since sex is an important human social glue. Either way, it’s far from ideal.
Sadly, many women aren’t even aware that something like this is going on. Mrs. Lion certainly wasn’t. She lost interest in sex and essentially forgot about my interest. I didn’t want to go outside of our marriage for sex. I’m too much in love to do that. That didn’t stop me from being very unhappy. I masturbated when I needed to, and didn’t really enjoy it. She paid attention to me about once a month. Sooner or later this would result in a serious problem.
Fortunately, I’m a kinky person. Before meeting her, I had a lot of experience in BDSM and other non-traditional sexual practices. I found the idea of male chastity interesting. There was something kind of sexy about having my penis locked up and out of my own control. It wasn’t sexy enough for me to want to really try it until my sex life turned into a monthly handjob. At that point, I figured that wearing a chastity device would obligate Mrs. Lion to pay sexual attention to me both for teasing and occasional orgasms. In our case, it’s worked out beautifully.
Still, there is a big difference between the male approach to sex and the female. There will always be a difference between the level of sexual activity partners want in any relationship. Sooner or later, one partner will want more than the other. Chances are very good the horny partner ends up being the male.
Gamification is a new word. It means turning an activity that is not normally considered recreational into a game. You can see evidence of it everywhere. Applications like word processors will award badges for various achievements. These badges are not unlike the stickers little kids get for doing good things in class. It turns out that adults like them too. Enforced male chastity can be a way to gamify sex. Being locked in a chastity device, teased and edged, and finally allowed to ejaculate turns a rather blind instinctive activity into something entertaining for both players. Certainly, it’s worked for us.