Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote her post about what she considers a failing of hers. I interrupted her and she told me at the time that I did it. That, in itself, is a gigantic step forward for her. It’s been hard for her to consciously recognize and point out things I do that annoy her. A little later, I asked her if I was going to be spanked for interrupting her. She said I would.
The reason I asked was that her initial reaction to my interruption was very mild and casual. I didn’t expect her to scream at me in indignation. I wasn’t sure at the time what her citation meant. It seemed very mild and unannoyed. I asked her to let me know if I had committed a spankable offense. I was genuinely confused. Yes, I know that interrupting earns me a spanking. However, more often than not, Mrs. Lion overlooks the punishment.
For the record, I’m very glad she didn’t. I know that I need consistent enforcement. In her post yesterday, I was a little confused by some of the things she said. She seemed to be saying that I had a maintenance spanking coming, so instead of giving me that, she would punish me. I think I understand what she meant. But it bothers me. Is spanking me for interrupting her no more than a maintenance spanking with a name to it?
Maybe I’m being oversensitive. She also said that I would be punished if I felt up to it. Now I can understand delaying a maintenance spanking. After all, it’s just a form of disciplinary exercise. Its intention is to keep us in practice. The punishment, however, is intended to teach me a lesson. Short of a serious illness or injury, I would imagine that a punishment should be administered as soon after the offense as possible.
Wednesday night would not have been a good time to do that. Even though I interrupted her then, I was in considerable pain from a particularly vigorous physical therapy session as well as almost 3 hours of dental work. As you probably know, I write this post the day before you read it. It’s now Thursday afternoon. I wouldn’t expect to be excused from a spanking tonight unless something much more serious than leftover dental pain was bothering me.
I’m bringing this up because I believe that there is a more important subtext. Had I spilled food on my shirt I’m pretty sure Mrs. Lion would have given me that knowing smile and would’ve let me know that I would be spanked the next day. I don’t think that Mrs. Lion has a problem remembering to tell me an offense is spankable. I think the real issue is that she’s having trouble accepting the fact that behavior that annoys her should be punished at all.
I realize this is very hard for her to do. Just spanking me at was an extremely difficult undertaking for her. Unlike the spanking fantasies, she’s had to work very hard to get to the point that she can punish me with a paddle. I imagine it’s even more challenging to accept the fact that she owes herself and me a strong reaction to the behavior she doesn’t like.
I get that. Punishing me for spilling food or forgetting to remind her about punishment days, or forgetting a chore is almost like a BDSM game. We have agreed rules and I pay a penalty if I break one. When we get into the much murkier territory of her feelings and potentially disrespectful behavior, there’s a lot more going on.
She’s had a lifetime of training to remain silent when someone interrupts her or otherwise disrespects her. On the occasions when she has let me know it’s been in the form of a sort of passive-aggressive response. She would become quiet and essentially ignore me. It’s a giant step to go from that sort of response to actively identifying the cause of her irritation and not only labeling it but punishing it.
Obviously, I don’t expect her to fly into a rage. However, I think she needs to realize that she’s fully entitled to be angry at me and to express her negative feelings with her paddle. I don’t expect her to use me as a punching bag; that’s not the point. I do expect her to let me know I upset her and as soon as practically possible use her paddle to underline her displeasure with me.
I recognize this is tricky. Mrs. Lion and I are first and foremost partners and mates. It’s difficult to figure out how if she is my partner, she is expected to punish me. I believe she has the right to expect me to maintain respect for her at all times. Interrupting her or overriding what she’s talking about is disrespectful. I need her to respond to this sort of behavior immediately and painfully. I am not only consenting to her doing this I am asking for her to help me this way.
Interestingly, an area that a lot of people consider more challenging seems easy for us. Our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) puts her in clear charge. I have agreed to obey her. Other than forgetting to do something she is told me to do, I can’t think of a single time that I had to be punished for disobedience. I’m sure it will come up sooner or later and when it does I hope Mrs. Lion will promptly use her paddle to remind me of my agreement with her.
I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else. I just know that the more consistent Mrs. Lion is in demanding my respectful, obedience the happier I am. I’m not excited about being spanked tonight. I wasn’t particularly happy about a maintenance spanking either. Truth be told, Mrs. Lion’s maintenance spankings are considerably milder than when she punishes me.
I’m convinced that the more consistent she is the better we will both be. I recognize that by saying this she will understand that I actually want a stricter lioness. I suppose I do. Well I can say is that I am very happy she caught me interrupting her and is going to punish me as we agreed she would. I need to pay more attention to what she is saying.