Most of my writing the last few days has been introspective. It’s been very helpful for me to finally understand the rather complex basis of our power exchange. It’s interesting that almost all of this thought and the content of this blog is about the real estate between my navel and my knees. Obviously, the physical part is probably the least important. I’m not sure that real estate would agree.
The new Evotion chastity device is on the way. That means I will be locked up when it arrives. The penis side of my featured real estate will become the central player. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion won’t be addressing the flipside. She’s working on expanding my rules. I find that exciting. Until the new chastity device arrives my penis is free to grow when I think about the expanded opportunities to get in trouble.
That’s the problem. If I were willing to intentionally forget punishment day or leave some items in the dish drainer, Mrs. Lion would punish me with a spanking.
I don’t want to intentionally break a rule. I realize that some of the more trivial requirements wouldn’t hurt Mrs. Lion’s feelings if I intentionally committed an offense. If she believed I did do this on purpose, she’s told me my punishment would be much more severe. She doesn’t like that idea any more than I do. A five-minute spanking is plenty! Making it 10 minutes long is a horrible idea. That’s what would happen if I intentionally broke a ruIe. I know that other people don’t feel a need for reasons to spank. The best example of this is Julie of strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com. She spanks her husband as well as doing other dominant things to him for no reason other than she wants to.
This is fine. It works for them. One reason it might be not as good for us is that unlike Julie, Mrs. Lion is not sexually aroused by spanking me or making me do humiliating things. It’s mutual sexual fun for Julie and her husband David. It doesn’t work that way for us.
For anything to work on a lasting basis, there has to be a reciprocal value in the transaction. If, like Julie, Mrs. Lion was sexually aroused by being dominant, the creativity and energy she would expend are compensated by the arousal and eventual sexual satisfaction she receives. She also gets the emotional satisfaction of doing something that pleases her husband.
Mrs. Lion gets satisfaction out of knowing she is making me happy by what she does. It was a little hard to understand in the beginning since I am absolutely unhappy when I received punishment. Punishment is designed to be unpleasant and make me unhappy. It took a while to connect all the dots. For whatever reason, it makes me happy to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. That control is most strongly expressed when she punishes me. I also enjoy, in that perverse way, the non-punishment activities like being made to wear a diaper or panties. Mouth soaping and corner time also send the message.
It’s not surprising that the most powerful message is sent via my rear end and Mrs. Lion’s paddle. I think the reason this disciplinary activity is so satisfying for both of us is that it represents a process. The outcome — the spanking — is the last step in this chain. It begins when I do something I shouldn’t. Next, Mrs. Lion observes the infraction. She informs me I have broken a rule. Then, at her earliest convenience, she spanks me.
That first step, observing my behavior, is probably the most significant for both of us. In a sense, it’s a game. Mrs. Lion likes games. She caught me breaking a rule. I’m informed that I did this both verbally and nonverbally with her paddle. Instead of being sexually aroused by this process, I think Mrs. Lion feels a sense of satisfaction. It’s a job well done. If it same major or minor infraction, I don’t think it matters too much. What matters is that she’s watching me close enough to catch infractions. She then follows through with punishment.
She knows I need consistency. I think she does too. Just as we make a point of telling each other how much we love one another, observing and punishing infractions also is a strong expression of our love. One of the most challenging aspects of this is that we have to learn that for the most part, infraction and punishment are binary. Even if the infraction is relatively trivial, because of our agreement, it earns me the same intensity of punishment as a more serious offense. That doesn’t mean that every offense gets the same level of spanking.
We’ve established that an intense five-minute spanking will leave me sore the next day and very unhappy while it’s being administered. I guess you can say this is our standard punishment. It’s what I get for any infraction. There are some things that are much more serious. Interrupting Mrs. Lion or making her feel that I am minimizing her opinion are much more significant issues. They earn longer spankings. So far, since we decided to do things this way, I haven’t earned an enhanced spanking. I’m very sure when I do, a memorable message will be sent.
Interestingly, the most recent times I’ve done something that Mrs. Lion really doesn’t like, I interrupted her, she growled at me instead of spanking me. I think this is part of her learning curve. She’s learned to be absolutely comfortable giving me a memorable spanking for spilling food on my shirt or breaking one of the other chore-related rules. When it comes to things that upset her, I think she’s finding it more difficult to make the move from observing the infraction to spanking me for the offense. I have absolutely no doubt that she will move from growl to paddle in the very near future.
This is all about vulnerability. It’s obvious that I’m being vulnerable. What’s less obvious is that in order to punish me for doing things that upset Mrs. Lion, she has to be sufficiently vulnerable to recognize that she has the right to spank me if I interrupt her or piss her off some other way. We have a clear agreement about my desire for her to enforce rules. I think she’s having a little trouble internalizing that this right also extends even more strongly to things I do that upset her.
It goes from being a game that produces a sense of a job well done to acknowledging her right to train me to treat her with more respect and consideration. That’s not easy. I respect the amount of work it will take to move from growl to paddle. I also expect that when she does make that transition it won’t be a five-minute spanking. The first time this happens marks the arrival of lioness 4.0.