Not a Monster

Lion is still somewhat under the weather. He’s feeling better than yesterday but being in pain took a lot out of him. He’s been snoozing on and off this morning and probably will be for most of the day. He’s been apologetic and very appreciative of me for taking care of him. What else would I do? He’s the love of my life.

Despite what James thinks in his comment to Lion’s post, I am not a monster. Ironically, James, before I met Lion I would have said you were a monster for living a BDSM lifestyle – consensual or not. How could one person do those things to another person? Who would want that done to them? Freaks! I didn’t understand. Maybe I still don’t. I admit that I still don’t get why Lion would want me to spank him even in play. I do it for him, but it doesn’t really make sense to me.

Why do I do it? It’s simple. It makes him happy. Does it make me happy? Not in the same sense. I like to make Lion happy. Having Lion tell me it was a good spanking or he had fun makes me happy. I guess my satisfaction comes from a job well done. I think the same is true of punishment. I don’t see the point in punishing him. I mean, I see the point. It’s to stop him from doing something. But I don’t see why he wants it. Can’t I just tell him to stop interrupting me? Yup. Can’t I just tell him to stop being a know-it-all? Yup. Can’t I just tell him to stop annoying me? Yup. I have. I do. Is it frustrating that he keeps doing those things? Yup. What can I do? I can either stuff it or tell him. I’ve done both in the past. However, Lion wants to feel my control. That’s why he wants me to punish him. Let me repeat that, James. He wants me to punish him.

When I punish Lion, I’m not some crazy-eyed, evil person waling away on Lion’s butt. On the contrary, I try to make sure I don’t actually injure him. If he bleeds, I check to make sure it’s not a severe bleed. Now we know it’s likely because his skin is dry. Lion wants to feel the spanking the next day. That’s a sign that I’ve done a good job. Do I want to do a good job? Wouldn’t you, James? I know he’ll feel it more if I hit on his sit spot so I try to concentrate on those areas. I also know if I continue on the same spots for too long, he won’t be able to hold still long enough for him to feel things the next day. I have to share the wealth with other parts of his butt.

The punishments last as long as I want them to. They usually don’t last as long as Lion wants them to. Of course, if you ask him, he wants them to stop as soon as they get painful. That’s the fight or flight response. In his BDSM-addled mind, he wants them to go on much longer than I am willing to do. He’s not looking to actually be hurt. He’s looking for lasting pain. No, not pain that requires medical attention. If you look at strictjuliespanks’ posts, my spankings are far less than hers. Would Lion like one of hers? I don’t think so. I think he likes the idea of her spankings. The reality would probably be too much. I know it would be too much for me to do to him.

So you see, James, Lion gets what he wants. I’m not a monster arbitrarily administering punishments. He has his rules, that we came up with together, and he “decides” when he gets punished based on how well he follows the rules. I’m an ordinary wife who steps into the role of punisher when it’s required.


  1. I mostly answered this in the other comment thread, but I see I left out some things.

    In answer to your question, “no.” I would not want to do a good job. Not even remotely. I’ve switched a few times, and even then I could not come close to doing what you’re doing. I could not hear someone scream or beg and keep going, even if outside of the event they asked me to. I surely could not inflict bruises or draw blood even in a BDSM scene.

    I think it’s a stretch to say that he “decides” when he will be punished. These are acts of negligence and carelessness not acts of intent. Forgetting to remind someone of a punishment day can hardly be called “deciding” to be punished. It is a mistake not an attempt to deceive. His interrupting is also a mistake. He seems to realize it quickly after doing it, which of course is too late. He wants it, so fine, but that doesn’t make the misdeeds any more intentional.

    Perhaps, all of this pain will help him be more self-aware or be sufficiently restrained in his words and actions to catch himself. You art likely trying to undo decades of ingrained, automatic behavior.

    What Strict Julie advocated was reckless. When pushed on it, she admitted that she worked with safewords to avoid harming him. In that post that Lion likes so much, she advocated restraining and gagging someone and striking at least 300 blows. She eventually added a warning statement. Surprisingly, she does draw the line at blood. Even if you don’t break bones or create open wounds, you can harm someone.

    He obviously wants this, so you are giving him what he wants, including the severity. He also wants you to enjoy doing it, which seems to be the case.

    1. I hesitate to get into a long debate with you about our disciplinary practices. I have better than three decades of experience in the BDSM community. I am very aware of my own limits as well as what constitutes safe activities. I won’t go into my credentials, suffice it to say that I know what I’m talking about. You appear to be addressing two separate issues: The first has to do with concerns about the safety of our activities. Mrs. Lion is in no danger of doing me any real injury. Also, you seem disturbed by the fact that I can scream and beg etc. and she will continue. That’s because I want her to. If I really want her to stop I will tell her. I also have a safeword. While I’m on the subject, blood is not a hard limit for us. The reason is that I can bleed with almost no real impact. It just has to do with the state of my skin at any given moment. Since we have been at this for years, we have a very good idea of what is safe for us.

      Your second point seems to want to address the justice of punishing me for various offenses. When I decided to write about the side of our lives, I hesitated because I figured somebody like you would come along and try to second-guess exactly what we are up to. I’ve asked Mrs. Lion to establish rules and I’ve suggested some of my own. Whether or not this makes sense to you, they work for us. A sin of omission is every bit as deliberate as one of commission. At least that’s how I see it.

      Since you refer back to Julie, let me assure you that she and I have had numerous conversations. She is an extremely safe spanker. There may be some hyperbole in her descriptions of the activities, but like with Mrs. Lion and I, she and her husband stay within safe bounds and respect limits. You’ve written that you’ve been a customer of professional dominatrixes. Unless you can afford to go to one every week, and she has a very small clientele, you can’t begin to approach the level of knowledge that Mrs. Lion and I have about each other. Mrs. Lion and I are very happy with our arrangement. She is very safe and ethical and I trust her completely.

  2. No. The first point did not go into the safety of your practices. I am well aware of your experience level. There was a time I played in various groups and even saw pros weekly or bi-weekly, but I am not getting into a pissing match over experience. You win based on your fisting alone. Congratulations.

    The second point did not go to the “justice” of anything. It was directed to a specific contention advanced by your wife: That you “decide” when you will be punished. As a matter of logic, that is not true with sins of omission. If you want to be beaten unconscious for them, have at it, but by definition no one “decides” to commit a sin of omission.

    Honestly, I don’t care what she does to you. I was addressing specific arguments and points. You obviously want everything you are getting so knock yourself out – or better yet, have her do it..

    I too have had several exchanges with Julie. My comment about her post had to do with its impact on readers not on how much experience she has. Her husband apparently likes things very intense, but to recommend gagging and restraining someone and beating them to that level without a word about safety was reckless. I assume you disagree.

    I would note that despite your snottiness, you have used more than one of my comments as the basis for one of your posts. So, they can’t be all that irrelevant or off base. If nothing else I gave you a strawman.

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