Maybe I’m Being Too Nice

I realized this morning that part of Lion’s problem getting to the edge is that I’ve been so overwhelmed by unpacking and life in general that I haven’t been putting my paw down. Actually, I think I realized it yesterday when I was installing a flood light all by myself despite the fact that he assured me he would get dressed and help. I was waiting for him to help me find the best placement for the light and when he never showed up, I decided he’d have to live with wherever I installed it.

If I approach things as if I’m in charge (duh), maybe it will bring him out of whatever funk he’s in. I’m under no illusion that it will be that easy, but it may help. I don’t know if it will make me feel any better. We’ve been snapping at each other a lot lately so maybe if I put my paw down, he’ll think better of snapping again.

The truth is, I’ve just been too overwhelmed and tired to put up much resistance to his snapping at me. To be fair, I growl as much at him. However, my growl should carry more weight. The weight of a paddle, to be precise. I will try to summon up the energy to give him a good 3.0 snap and follow it up with some swats.

Again, it probably won’t be that easy. Last night he said he may be depressed. As someone who has been depressed (self-diagnosed) for the better part of mumblety-mumble years, I can’t imagine that he’s not. All the nonsense that has happened to Lion over the past year would be enough to drive a lesser man to commit himself. I had a coworker who used to say if we needed her she’d be over in the corner playing with her toes when things got hectic at work. Just being on the outside looking in, helping him through this year has been enough to make me want to commit myself. Maybe we can get a group rate.

This morning Lion has a headache. He may need to take it easy today. My migraine has morphed into a sinus headache. I’ve slept a lot since Thursday night. I’m hoping by this evening, we’ll both be feeling better and I can try to edge him again. It didn’t work last night and he felt bad about letting me down.

I always tell him not to worry about disappointing me. But what if that’s not the answer? What if he needs some swats for disappointing me? I don’t know. I’m grasping at straws here. I just want to help him out of his doldrums.

[Lion — I’m not sure that more growling and paddling will make me feel better, but it is what I believe would work best for us as a couple. As usual, we tend to think alike. You’ll see that in my post tomorrow.]