We Must Be Crazy

Mrs. Lion took the night off on Wednesday. She was very tired and a little out of sorts. That meant I didn’t get my next spanking. I still have four to go (by the time you read this, possibly just three). I hope she’s done with the soap for a while. I really hated that. Of course, she still has the punishment stool. That’s no fun either. There is no question in my mind that Lioness 3.0 has arrived and isn’t going anywhere. As she pointed out on Wednesday, she is no longer affected by my yelping when she spanks me. She knows what she has to do and she has the confidence to do it without worrying about feedback from me.

Normally, in the BDSM scene, the top has to be very aware of physical and verbal feedback from the bottom. Experienced tops expect and appreciate strong verbal response from the bottoms. Since there is always a safeword in place, there is no need to be concerned about any verbal signs of distress.We have safewords in place (“Yellow” for I’m Reaching My Limit, and “Red” for too much!). Mrs. Lion honors those safewords. Nonetheless, hearing me in more distress than she generally gets from spanking me, would have stopped 2.0 in her tracks. 3.0 happily disregards it. She focuses on the task at hand.

The result of this is that I feel a much stronger disciplinary flavor to my spankings. I am genuinely unhappy and strongly wish they would stop. That is how it should be. Lioness 3.0 is also not terribly concerned about breaking a little skin, bruising, or turning parts of my butt to leather. In other words, unless there’s real injury, she goes on about her business until she feels I have been properly spanked.

I’m sure the softer part of her reacts to the “damage” she sees. 3.0 knows that these marks are an expected result of a “good” spanking. I agree. In fact, there’s room for more severe spankings that will do no real harm to me.

In my days as a BDSM top, I would never do sensation play at anything near full volume with a partner I hadn’t played with many times before. Everyone is different. Every bottom has individual limits that have to be explored gradually and safely. The same is true of disciplinary spankings from my lioness. She experiments with different implements and different intensities. It’s taken a very long time for her to work her way up to the current level of spanking that she delivers. She isn’t close to my limit. I’m very sure she isn’t close to her own.

Our policy of serial spankings for offenses gives her a chance to experiment with both tools and my limits. Tuesday’s spanking with our Hanson bloodwood paddle left me with sore spots as well as some leathery skin. Interestingly, she drew no blood. It’s not an alarming thing if I bleed a bit. My skin tends to do that in spots when it’s struck. It will even do it if I scratch an itch. We’ve learned it’s nothing for us to worry about.

This is actually fairly common. In public play parties where I served as a safety monitor, we would provide Band-Aids to tops in order to cover any blood spots. The risk in a public venue is that if a blood spot is hit again, there will be a fine spray of blood. This poses a health risk if they bottom happens to have an infection that can be transmitted that way. When it’s just Mrs. Lion and I at home, she needn’t be that careful. I don’t have any blood-borne diseases and I am the only person who gets the benefit of our paddle collection. I will get some commercial sanitizing wipes so she can keep the toys nice and clean and germ-free.

What’s happening with us is a normal progression when a couple does consistent impact “play”. Calling it play does not minimize what it really is. I only use that word to suggest that the same rules apply to a disciplinary spanking as they do to BDSM play. The single difference of course, is that my disciplinary spankings are designed to go well past the point I would enjoy them in a BDSM context. Mrs. Lion is starting to get to that point. I’m sure she’s a little frustrated it’s taken so long and such hard swats. I can’t help that. It’s not that I’ve had a great deal of experience being spanked. I haven’t. I’ve been a top doing the spanking most of my life. Apparently, I have a pretty good capacity to take punishment.

The fact that it’s taken so long to build up to the point she’s reached, indicates clearly that brutality has nothing whatsoever to do with our corporal punishment. There’s no abuse involved. I have given my consent for everything she is doing and for more. We have discovered that our disciplinary relationship actually changes not only my behavior, but hers as well. She is becoming more outgoing and confident with me. She treats observing infractions as a normal part of her role as my wife. She has absolutely no trouble assigning punishment and carrying it out.

She is much more assertive when dealing with me. This is exactly what I want. Our disciplinary marriage gives her the freedom to let me know anytime I do something she doesn’t like. She has no reason to stuff her feelings and allow them to fester. Interestingly, the fact that she knows I get punished for my infractions seems to have put her in a similar mindset about her own behavior. I earned two days of spankings for forgetting punishment day last Thursday. She announced that she forgot it too and would punish herself by waxing my legs. Later, I spilled food on my shirt, so she canceled the punishment for that and offset that cancellation by canceling her punishment waxing my legs.

I thought that was pretty odd. But it shows that she is holding herself accountable just as she holds me. She may not get punished when she does something she considers wrong, but she acknowledges it in the same way she points out infractions I make. How about that?

I never expect her to get punished for those infractions. It’s more than enough that she acknowledges them and thinks about them in the same context she thinks about mine. If you look at what’s happening from a little distance, you can see that we are becoming far more open in our communication. We acknowledge our faults and apologize or pay for them when they occur. Mrs. Lion verbally acknowledges what’s happened and apologizes. I get punished.

Even if you don’t agree with our disciplinary relationship, you have to be able to see that we have a path that leads to clear consciences and a very positive attitude towards one another. Just because she punishes me, I’m not afraid Mrs. Lion. I’m grateful to her for helping me learn. I don’t know what psychological dynamic we’ve developed, but whatever it is absolutely works for us.

I know that my bottom will be hurting more as my lioness turns up the volume on my spankings. Truthfully, I look forward to that. So far, nothing but good has come from her growth as a disciplinarian. Growth for both of us.


  1. The message in this post reflects our relationship goals. My husband and I are very new to FLRD. I can only hope that someday I am as confident and competent as Mrs. Lion. Thank you for the informative posts. I appreciate the realness and lack of fantasy that a new key holder finds so discouraging.

    1. Author

      Thank you. This all takes time. It also takes practice I suggest you sit down together and come up with a couple of rules he is bound to break. My first rules were not to spill food on my shirt (something I did all the time) and not to start eating before Mrs. Lion. That gave her a chance to get in the habit of observing my behavior and he gave us both a chance to develop spanking as a punishment. I never broke either of those rules on purpose. I didn’t have to, of course.

      If you are keeping him in a chastity device, unless there is a problem with irritation or poor fit, he should remain in it all the time. Mrs. Lion only took it off me for teasing sessions or if the device was hurting me. We found that the key to success is consistency. It doesn’t hurt to have some patience too. Feel free to contact us. Good luck!

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