I Lost the Welcome Mat

Lion's punishment stool
Lion’s punishment stool. It has a rough, coconut fiber doormat attached to the seat. The sharp fibers dig into his sensitive skin. I’ve taken the mat off the stool and had him sit on it in bed. That’s what I wanted him to do last night.

I managed to give Lion another bloody butt last night. In truth, I just reopened the areas that were bloody two nights before. I don’t want you to think his cheeks were gushing blood. It was barely bleeding. But it was bleeding. I’m actually glad I didn’t whomp him Tuesday night. It gave him a full day to heal. And I’m wondering if I should give him a break tonight and swat him on Friday night for the same reason.

I was going to make him sit on the welcome mat in bed, but I don’t know what I did with it. When I came out of the shower, I realized that we have another welcome mat sitting on a chair in the kitchen I could have had him sit on. Oh well. I’ll have to keep that in mind for future punishments.

Poor sleepless Lion was so tired he spent the evening snoozing and waking and snoozing and waking. We didn’t snuggle because I wanted him to get his rest. Luckily he was able to sleep last night. I thought maybe all his naps would give him enough energy that he wouldn’t sleep.

This morning, in our back-and-forth emails, I told Lion I miss being close without having to take it a step further and play with him. This has nothing to do with not wanting to play with him. I just feel we’ve been putting too much emphasis on the sexual aspect of our relationship. I guess that’s ironic because Lion may think we haven’t been putting enough emphasis on sex.  [Lion — She knows me so well] There have been a few times that we’ve snuggled and I haven’t gone any further. Lion asks if I’m going to unlock him, or if he’s already unlocked, am I going to play with him. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.

The obvious answer is that we need to communicate. On the other hand, if my intent when I start to snuggle is just to snuggle, but then things change, shouldn’t they just be allowed to develop organically? Life is confusing.