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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Health and safety, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion is still sleeping a lot and not eating much. I think it’s a vicious cycle but I figured he was doing what he could to get better. This afternoon, he told me he needs my help. Not only does he need me to stand by while he makes his way to the bathroom or to wash him in the shower, but he also need me to be his cheerleader.

Silly me. I assume he’ll tell me if he’s hungry. I do ask him as well. I assume he’ll tell me if he’s thirsty. I assume he’ll tell me when he wants to get up and go to his office. Apparently I’m wrong. He realizes he’s not eating or drinking as much as he should. He knows he’s not getting out of bed as often as he should.

I have a theory, and it’s been true for me, that he’s tired because he’s been in bed so long. I don’t discount the fact that he’s in pain. The muscles in his neck are extremely angry for the intrusion. But if he gets up and moves around, even if he just sits in his office for a while, he will stay awake longer. At the very least, the “tired” he gets will be from exertion rather than from boredom, for lack of a better word.

A little while ago I suggested making him another chocolate milkshake. The last one didn’t taste very good to him. He said he thought the last one was just too big. I’m not sure how too big a serving alters the flavor so I told him I’d make him a smaller serving. That did the trick.

In a little while, I’ll chase him into the shower. When he recovers from that, I’ll make dinner and insist we eat at the dining room table. I guess it’s time for the female led relationship to take over.

By:
In: Erections, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion thought he was horny last night. Turns out it was a case of the body being willing but the mind, not so much.

I can’t blame the fact that it was late. He’s been sleeping a lot other times. He’d been wide awake, watching television when he said he was horny. Within a few minutes he was hard. I don’t think I could have gotten much further than that anyway, but soon I heard the unmistakable sounds of Lion snoozing. Oh well.

A while after I moved back onto my own side of the bed, Lion woke up. He wondered what happened. He was a little annoyed at himself for falling asleep while I was playing with him. I wasn’t. It’s not his fault. Plus, I think it’s a testimony to how good I make him feel. Of course, I wasn’t trying to make him feel that kind of good.

For a few days, Lion wasn’t eating much. Today he ate breakfast and lunch. I think he’s getting stronger. He’s trying to be more self-sufficient. I’m still staying home from work since he can’t really fend for himself yet. I’ll stay home until he’s able to get his own food and drinks.

Tonight I’ll try to get Lion all hot and bothered again. I’m not sure if we’ll get very far but it’s good to take my weenie out for a stroll once in a while.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Lion seems surprised that I think I own his balls. I mean, it’s certainly not something that occupies my mind 24/7, but I do realize that he gave me ownership of his sexual satisfaction or lack thereof. He doesn’t bat an eye when I refer to his penis as my weenie. Why are the balls different?

Sitcoms make frequent reference to women having control of men’s balls. Of course, they don’t mean that literally. They only mean the man is no longer in charge. The woman is in power. Not sexual power. But she will make all the decisions. She may allow him to think he’s in charge until the point that there is a disagreement. Then things will go the way she wants them to go.

While I can’t say for sure, I bet most of the writers and actors never take things a step further in their own lives. Having a woman actually take control of a man’s balls to the extent that I mean, may never have crossed their minds.

Right now, obviously, Lion couldn’t care less about who has control of his balls. They’re attached and that’s all that matters. He’s concentrating more on getting stronger and staying awake. My initial prediction of horniness returning may have been premature. Then again, he can start to think horny thoughts well before actually being horny. Sort of a test run.

By:
In: Sex, Lion's Journal, Punishment

The other night we were watching reruns of the sitcom “Mom”. Bonnie, mother of the main character, is an amoral sociopath. In the episode we were watching, Bonnie had just reconciled her on-again-off-again relationship with her paraplegic boyfriend. As part of making up, he gave up more of his independence. He commented, “It seems like I’m losing more and more of my body.”

He was referring to his balls. Bonnie made a comment affirming her ownership. Mrs. Lion turned to me and said, “I own your balls.”

At the time, I offered mild agreement. The next morning, I asked Mrs. Lion if she really felt that she owns my balls. With her typical lioness definitive answer she said, “Most of the time.”

Most of the time? I asked her what that meant. She replied that she doesn’t always think about ownership of me or my family jewels. But when she does, she believes that she owns them. She went on to say that meant she knows she can do whatever she wants with me. I had to agree.

I also went on to say that just because the topic of possession of my balls isn’t always front of mind, doesn’t mean that their ownership status changes at any point. Or, does it? She agreed that there is no point in time where she believes I take over ownership. Just that there are occasions when she doesn’t think about it.

I did ask for a little more detail. One important fact is that she knows she can lock me up in a device I cannot remove at any time she wants. She considers this ability a significant expression of her ownership. I agree. Even though I’m wild now since my surgery, I am fully aware she can change that status anytime she wants.

She’s also very aware that she can punish me for any reason she wishes and she can withhold ejaculation at will.

When I think about this, I realize that this specific form of ownership extends to areas that I consider sexual control. My balls are very good symbols of masculine power. By consciously and publicly acknowledging that Mrs. Lion owns them, I am letting the world know that how I feel about any particular action she wishes to take is completely beside the point.

My balls, and by extension the rest of me, has absolutely no vote when it comes to almost every physical activity Mrs. Lion wishes to inflict on me. She recognizes that she can’t control my sexual desires, and as such has given very little thought to them.

This is very different from the depersonalization kind of BDSM a lot of people fantasize about. I’m not an object or a toy. I am her beloved partner and she has complete ownership of my balls. She can still love me as much as she wants. I can be as affectionate as I want. But when it comes to decisions about sexual activity or discipline, I might as well be an object.

This sort of ownership bypasses a lot of the tedious micromanagement associated with much BDSM play. Trumpets don’t need to sound when I’m locked into a chastity device. She is sometimes amused when I whine about being horny. Other times, it gets on her nerves and she lets me know that I will be spanked if I don’t stop complaining.

Interestingly, she never threatens longer waits for ejaculation when she tires of my whining. Discipline is completely separate from sex. This is true even if sexual behavior provokes the punishment.

I can’t claim that this was a plan we worked out. It’s just how things are involved. They work very well, even at times like this when I am severely physically limited