In a lot of men’s minds, including mine, there is a sort of maternal connection between a submissive male and his disciplining mate. After all, being punished and rewarded are childlike activities. There’s no getting around it. I get soundly spanked when I displease Mrs. Lion. This isn’t open to discussion and I don’t get a vote on whether or not I will be punished. I’ve surrendered that power. When it’s time, I’m told to lie face down on the bed and Mrs. Lion painfully reminds me how I displeased her.
That’s certainly seems to put me in the position of a naughty child. I don’t think that’s true. It’s just that I don’t have any other context to understand being required to accept a painful spanking for doing something that upsets my wife. In our society, children are punished ,not spouses; certainly not male spouses. So, I’m conditioned to believe that I’m returning to being a child because I have to follow rules and accept punishment if I break them.
I don’t mind that. I don’t have any childhood experience swith being punished. I really like my new role and I’m turned on knowing that I’m subject to Mrs. Lion’s discipline. Over the last few years, she’s become a very effective disciplinarian. If she doesn’t exactly like the role, she’s found value in it. She knows it does something good for me.
In practice, we’ve worked it out pretty well. Mrs. Lion is a dispassionate disciplinarian. She doesn’t spank me when she is angry. She waits until she’s cooled off and I am available for punishment. At my request, she’ll delay my beating if I don’t feel up to accepting it. I know that it won’t go away. I’m going to get paddled for my infraction. All I can do is put it off for a day or so.
FLR is well established in our home. It doesn’t resemble the classic fantasy femdom model. She and I are partners and we both make decisions. However, she’s in charge. She doesn’t take punishing me very seriously. She treats it like something she has to do. Being a very smart lioness, she learns quickly.
One of the things that I think challenges her the most is being able to dispassionately administer a severe spanking. There’s no question that she can give me a memorable beating. You’ve seen the evidence in the pictures we’ve published. The issue is that she seems to need my agreement to bruise my bottom. I am generally able to stop the proceedings if I get near my limit. Since this is a disciplinary spanking, it’s supposed to be a distressing experience for me.
In my mind I expect her to administer the level of punishment she feels I need. As I’ve written before, repeat offenses indicate that she didn’t send a strong enough message the last time I was punished for the offense. I suggested that the second punishment for the same thing should be far more memorable. I know she loves me. I also know she doesn’t really want to hurt me. She understands my need for this and on some level equates this need with giving me some control over what happens.
I don’t want control over this process. While I’m being beaten, I do. But in my heart of hearts I absolutely don’t. I recognize how difficult this must be for her. It’s taken a long time for us to get where we are now. I think our spanking experiment has moved us forward. Unlike punishments, the experiment has fixed parameters. I’m to get 300 swats in groups. Currently, each group has 15 swats. The objective is for me to learn to hold still for any amount of spanking she chooses to deliver. 300 hits with a heavy paddle does quite a bit of damage. It’s what I want.
When it comes to punishment, there is no agreement as to how many swats I’ll get or how big each group of swats will be. It’s purely up to Mrs. Lion. I think that’s where the problem is. When it’s up to her I think she worries about doing too much. Apparently, it’s hard for her to give me the 300 swats she’s happy to administer for our experiment. I was hoping that the 300 would be the baseline. She knows I can take them and that the punishment would be a good opportunity to go further.
In a way it’s difficult for me to write this. I know just how unhappy I will be if she takes my advice. I’m offering it not because I have a masochistic death wish. It’s just that I want her to make me feel her control. We both know I absolutely hate the beating while she’s administering it. It’s no surprise I will object, yelp, even try to roll away. I’m being trained not to roll away, but I am not being trained to like it.
I think that may be the big issue. She knows what I want. But, she also sees my distress when she gives it to me. The distress is real. I’m very unhappy. It hurts! Of course, it’s supposed to. The challenge for her is to be as dispassionate about punishing me as she is about our spanking experiment.
I admit it, I’m aroused thinking about this. Apparently, a lot of guys react this way. I also know just how unhappy I will be as my spanking progresses. I’ve managed to rationalize this because after the punishment is over, I’m glad I received it. Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, has no such post-punishment good feelings. I think she’s gotten to the point where she doesn’t worry about me not loving her anymore. But, aside from me thanking her, there’s nothing for her to look back on in a positive way.
How do you deal with causing your mate distress, even though he asked for it, without feeling badly yourself? In order for the spanking to be effective, it has to be severe enough to make me genuinely hate the experience. That means I’m going to be no help at all if she asks for feedback while she’s beating me.
The bottom line is that punishing is something you learn how to do. You may intellectually understand why you do it, but emotionally it tends to be a most unsatisfying experience. I suppose one way to think about this is to consider the punishment to be a strong deterrent. If it’s effectively administered, I’m much less likely to repeat my offense. If I don’t repeat my offense, another spanking won’t be necessary. That’s an incentive to make each punishment as unpleasant as possible. After all, I control whether or not I get beaten. The more I want to avoid it, the less likely it will be that Mrs. Lion will have to spank me.
In a real way, spanking me is a way of expressing disappointment. It’s an incentive, albeit a negative one, to clean up my act. It’s part of the process I asked for. We are making progress. I’ve corrected some of the things that used to earn me frequent spankings. I still have a way to go. We’ve established that punishments work in our marriage. I’m still responsible for my behavior. Mrs. Lion’s role is to reinforce my resolve to do as she wishes. The tool she has chosen to use is difficult for her. However, she’s done a wonderful job making me regret my wrongdoing.
She’s a remarkable person. I’ve asked her to do something alien and unpleasant. She’s persevered for years as she’s gradually raised the bar. I’m incredibly lucky. While it would be amazingly difficult for me to say it at the time, I am grateful she punishes me. Our FLR has improved our communication. In her role as my disciplining wife, Mrs. Lion has made me more secure and happier. Thank you, my dear lioness.